An Open Letter About My Wife...

To my beautiful and amazing wife,                     Mother’s Day 2012

                                      As men…we grow up living in a world where so many expectations are placed on the women in our lives. We grow up being taught that a woman’s “job” is to make sure the house is clean, the dishes are done, the food is cooked and the baby’s are cared for. Most men enter marriage placing a tremendous amount of undeserved and unwarranted pressure on their wives. In the midst of all these “generic roles” that women are supposed to have…there are a few that are rarely discussed or appreciated. ANYONE can change a diaper, warm a bottle, put a tiny spoon in a baby’s mouth or fill up a sink with soapy water…very few can truly call themselves “MOTHERS”. I…however…am blessed to be married to one of those special few…a silent minority of women who don’t just talk the talk…but “walk the walk.”

                                      Everyday, she sacrifices “personal recreation”, sleep, physical preservation, vanity and at times…overall sanity…to give our beautiful little girl the greatest gift that she will ever receive. I love her with all my heart…and will until I take my last breath…I will go to the ends of the earth just to know she is happy, safe, cared for and healthy. I’ll spend the rest of my life worrying every second, of everyday, that she is “OK.” But guess what…none of those things will ever come close…will ever be in the same universe…as what the love of a “MOTHER” will provide her. Seeing her face when Erin walks into a room…seeing her outstretched arms that always seem to point Mommy’s way when she is hurting…hearing those squeals of joy when Erin squeezes her…and gives her those special “mommy kisses”…proves that…at the end of the day…”MOMMY” is where life begins and ends!

It doesn’t hurt my feelings or damage my ego to know Erin possesses something that I never can. Knowing that she “does”…knowing that she “can”…and knowing that she “always will”…gives me the peace of mind to know that if I had to leave this earth at this very second…something far bigger than me…has already left a legacy that will endure long after I’m gone!

                                      I sit here at my desk…happier than I ever thought it was possible to be. I think back on so many of the letters that I have written to my wife  in the past that would say “it hasn’t been the best year but…” or “things have been hard but…” and I’m happy to say that in my heart…she can burn those letters. Our lives BEGAN on May 3, 2011…and no matter what the future holds for us…we now face it as a FAMILY!! I want to thank her for being my strength when I seemed to have lost all hope…my courage when the next day seemed so terrifying…my light when my life was filled with so much darkness…and my savior…helping me to be born again in the love of this gift that she gave me one year ago!! I thank her for granting me the privilege of being her husband…and more importantly… I thank her for giving me the opportunity to witness the “miracle” that is Motherhood…from a perspective that I never knew could be so beautiful. She humbles me everyday!! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to my beautiful wife, Erin!!

With all my Love, Respect, Adoration and Gratitude

I remain in awe of you...

                                            James

                                                                                               

                                                                                                           

                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                         

What Do I Believe?

I know that many times...I am far too passionate and dare I say "obnoxiously" outspoken. I tell my wife often that I really wish that I had the ability to "walk on by"..."keep my mouth shut"...overall just learn to ignore things that "irritate" me. At 33...it only seems to be getting worse so maybe I should spend less time worrying about it and spend more time embracing who I am.

Over the last year...these blog posts have come and gone...sporadic to say the least. There are so many things that I want to say on a daily basis...but quite honestly...my ramblings can be exhaustive...even to me. I'm pretty sure that not only have these posts at times "offended"...I have ultimately lost friends as a result of my political thoughts and musings. It is NEVER my intention to hurt anyone's feelings...or make them angry. Do I wish at times more people thought like me? Of course...that is human nature. We all want to be surrounded by "like thinking" people who serve to boost our ego. However...I consider myself a student of life...always absorbing new ideas and perspectives. Differing opinions are FAR from lost on me...I assure everyone that I tend to rethink my own views on a daily basis.

While it may be hard for some to believe...I'm not some "uber-liberal" bleeding heart who believes that we all should live in a commune...share our belongings and dance naked by the moonlight under a cloud of bong smoke! So what do I believe??

 I DON'T believe that guns should be outlawed; I DO believe in "responsible" regulation which includes background checks EVERYWHERE...not just in stores (see Gun Shows). I DON'T believe that religion should be "removed" from everything...but I also DON'T believe ANY religion should be shoved down people's throat just because it is the prevailing sentiment of the majority (see Church of England.) I DON'T"personally" believe in abortion...but I don't have the right to tell a woman what she can do with her body. Would the world be a better place if no one had an abortion...of course. Is it a horrible process to think about...of course. Can I put myself in a pregnant woman's shoes and presume to have the power to sway such a life altering decision...absolutely not! I DON'T believe that homosexuals, blacks, mexicans or any minority should receive "special treatment"...but I DO believe they should receive EQUAL treatment. I DON'T believe that we all have the RIGHT to be wealthy or educated...I do think we have the RIGHT to be healthy and medically taken care of (if we in turn do our part to take care of ourselves!)

 I DON'T believe ALL conservatives/Republicans are stupid, backward or less intelligent ...I DO think there are "fringe" aspects of this group who ARE and I think they stand to not only hurt their party but this country as well. I DON'T think Barack Obama has been a "perfect" President...nor would I even say he's been a "great" President...I DO think he has done a remarkable job with the hand he was dealt. I DON'T believe that Barack Obama is a muslim...I DO believe that his religion is quite frankly a moot point either way. I DON'T think ALL muslims are evil terrorists...I DO think those who are should be removed from this earth by any means necessary. I DON'T think that Barack Obama was born outside this country...I DO think that if he was...it would be IMPOSSIBLE to cover up.  I DON'T think political "debate" should be about innuendo, rumor and propaganda...I DO think that disagreements and civil discourse based on educated thought and processes are imperative to not only our growth as a country but our growth as a "people." I DON'T think it is important what types of books our President chooses to read in his spare time...I DO think it is important that he READS BOOKS!! I DON'T think that Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton are "good" people...they are "race baiters" who have made millions off the fear, ignorance and sadness of others...I DO believe that most black people are smart enough to recognize that!! I DON'T believe that any of the things that I justy said will make a difference in the way many of you view my beliefs and/or politics...I DO believe that no matter what...people are basically good...and in spite of the fact that we may disagree...at the end of the day...we are all the same...weak, frail, fractured, damaged beings who desperately want to be liked and/or loved.

 I'm not a socialist...I'm not an atheist...but more importantly...I'm not a FOLLOWER! I'm just like you...a son, a spouse, a parent...someone who sees the world with his own vision and desperately wants a strong framework in place for his little girl. At the end of the day...we all have a long journey to complete. We just can't seem to agree on the destination. God bless you all... that includes my friends and those who detest me.

Until next time...

VOTER APATHY REMAINS A PROBLEM...

After having a rousing political discussion with a good friend of mine yesterday...her words inspired me to talk about something that I have and will always be very passionate about. It seems over time American Politics has become more of a "Blood Sport" than an avenue for progression and change. Not a day goes by that I don't hear SOMEBODY complaining about the political landscape of either local, state or federal elections. In the midst of all these complaints...there is only one way to re-work this flawed landscape and that is through active participation by "WE THE PEOPLE" a.k.a. "Voters," Sadly...it seems that a growing number of people are choosing apathy over activism thus bringing me to my soapbox of today.

The same friend brought to my attention that Marengo County had a 52% voter turn-out on Tuesday. She was appalled at this number and was obviously very upset. perhaps the saddest part of this whole discussion is that 52% "turn out" is well above the state and national average. In fact...statewide on Tuesday...approximately 30% of Alabamians took advantage of ...not only a constitutional right...but something that I consider to be a "moral imperative." This...in my opinion...is beyond disgraceful!! 70% of Alabamians did not deem it important to elect local officials, possibly determine our next Supreme Court Chief Justice (arguably the most powerful position in the state), or choose delegates for the Presidential nominee in November. What was going on in their lives that was SO important??

Let's run through some possible excuses of why they couldn't vote..shall we. First "I have to work." The Polls open at 7:00 a.m. and close at 7:00 p.m. Regardless of what "shift" you work or what your schedule is...there is a time available for you to vote. In addition...Federal law mandates that no employer can prevent an employee from excercising their right to vote. Tell your boss you will be right back...and take care of your obligation!! Second..."I was too tired." Walking into a room...picking up a ballot...sitting down at a table...and drawing "black lines" is not what I would call "manual labor." If you are too LAZY to go vote...to be honest...the right should likely be taken away from you completely. Do you think the young men and "boys" were tired when they stormed the beaches of Normandy on "D" day? Do you think the Allied forces were a little drained in the Ardennes Forrest as their fingers and toes were literally "freezing off" during the "Battle of the Bulge"? Do you think the soldiers of the Revolutionary War..many of which were untrained and poorly armed farmers...would have preferred to rest with a pipe and a pint... than to take on the heavily armed, and professionally trained British? If you view voting as a "chore" or an "irritation"...then you are a disgrace to everything this country was built on and stands for...period. Finally..."My vote doesn't count." Take a look at the past 10 years and do the research locally, statewide and nationwide. We have had more elections decided by a "handful" of votes in the last 10 years than in our nation's history combined. Counties are split, states are split and this nation is split...right down the middle. We are at a crossroads with regard to the direction we choose to go. It's up to each and everyone of us to place our footprint on the path that we envision as the one which will lead us to prominence, greatness and personal growth. If you want a great story about "one vote" counting...research Edmund Ross. He was a little known...relatively new Senator from the state of Kansas who almost single handedly shaped history during the Impeachment Trial of Andrew Johnson. The only vote that doesn't count...is that which is not cast!

I will wrap this rant up with an appeal to the "fairer sex." Of all the people in this country...black, white, hispanic, etc...you stand to gain and/or lose the most everytime we have an election. It was less than 100 years ago (92 to be exact)...that the 19th ammendment was ratified giving you the right to vote. It was less than 50 years ago...that the Unites States legalized your ability to use "contraception." Your rights are very "young"...and many debates still rage today with regard to what you can and cannot do with your own body. I contend that women...above all other discussed minorities...have been relegated to a "forgotten" group. You have taken the back seat to more "sexy" civil rights groups. I blame much of that on your own "apathy". Women...unlike so many other "oppressed" groups have more or less embraced the idea that they...to some degree...must always walk in the shadow of their male counterparts.

 In 2012...women continue to average $.75 for every dollar that men make...for the same positions. The dawn of the 21st century has seen dictators fall after decades of totalitarian rule. It has been a witness to the United States' election of a black President. It has given rise to the legalization of "same sex marriages" or at least "civil unions" across the United States. Whether you agree or disagree...all of these acts are signs of a "progressive movement" that would reflect a culture where "complete and total" equality is the norm. Yet...in the midst of all these historic events...women still make 25% less money...on average...to perform the same work as a man?? Wake up ladies...don't let the 21st century pass you by without taking control of your destiny and once again bellowing that feminist cry from your fore-mothers..."I Am Woman...Hear Me Roar!" That "Roar" must start as a whisper...with the simple mark of a ballot. Then collectively...as those whispers begin to come together from the East Coast to the West Coast...from the Deep South to the Midwest...from the Great Lakes to the Appalachian Mountains...there will be a national awakening. At that moment..the memories of women like Lucretia Mott, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony...will once again be alive and well through the actions of each of you. Allow yourselves to once again become representatives of change...take back this cause...so that those who died...might live again!!

In less than a month...this city and county will see several run-off races. Let's see if we can't SHATTER the National/State average as it pertains to turn out. Men and women...regardless of color, religious affiliation or sexual orientation...let's stand together and do what is required...to take back what is ours!! VOTE...VOTE...VOTE.

Until next time friends...

MUSINGS FROM A GRUMPY CYNIC...

So...I decided rather than starting the New Year with something moving, introspective, controversial or thought provoking...I would try to start with a little humor. Please understand that my heart is far from "blackened" and filled with hate!! That being said...there are certain things in the this world that truly annoy the hell out of me!! It's nothing personal...just the way that I'm wired. I decided to compile a list...which will encompass various parts of life...from day-to-day human interactions to the uses of social media. This list is in no particular order and I hope that we can share a laugh...or perhaps an aneurism...over a few of these things!!

"HAVE A BLESSED DAY"- this has nothing to do with religion as I consider myself a spiritual person. I can't explain why but I HATE when people walk up to me and say this. What does this even mean?? You know what would give me a "blessed" day...not running into at least 20 people that tell me to have one!!

CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE "WEATHER"- if the best you can muster in order to begin a conversation is "Sure is hot/cold outside?" or "Sure do need some rain?" then guess what...we have nothing to say to one another. This is basically a desperate attempt to bridge a gap that likely...should remain "bridgeless." I know it's cold/hot...hence the sweat pouring from my swollen face... and/or the jacket that I have squeezed into!! I also realize that water is a necessity for all human life. Let's just skip these obvious points and move on to ignoring each other. Thanks!!

MASS POLITICAL E-MAILS- Ok...this one has a special place in my heart. How can I say this diplomatically? If you are a person who ALWAYS believes mass e-mails that you receive...especially if they fall into line with your own particular political agenda...then you should have to forfeit your right to vote. If you are the same person who feels compelled to "forward" said e-mail...you should forfeit your right to E-MAIL!! For goodness sakes..do some research people!! I know the e-mail explains very clearly that "BARACK OBAMA AND BILL CLINTON WORSHIP THE DEVIL AND TOGETHER WILL BRING ABOUT THE 2ND COMING" but that MAY NOT be true?? Here is an idea...since you are receiving e-mail then you have an internet connection. Spend some of that energy that you would normally reserve when your gnarled fingers smack that "FORWARD" button...and use it to "GOOGLE" what you just read. You might be surprised at what you find?? Or you may be too obstinant to believe anything else...either way...I don't care to read your propoganda. Stop wasting everyone's time trying to prove how irresponsible and lazy you are. Read it...make a note to bring up at the next "Fascist's On Parade Meeting" and delete it until the next piece of "News" arrives. We all "thank you" ahead of time!!

SHIRTLESS GUYS ON FACEBOOK- I don't care what kind of physique you have, I don't care how good looking you are or how proud you are of a recent weight accomplishment...if there is ANY available picture of you "shirtless" within your publicly available FACEBOOK account...DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY!! If your Profile picture is you without a shirt on...well...you are a "douche nozzle" and there is probably little hope for you!! Many would say....that as a "fat man"...I am biased and jealous. Some of that is true...however...at 33 years old...I'm intelligent enough to recognize that if you often take pictures of yourself without a shirt...when you do WEAR a shirt...it likely has your name sewed into the chest!! Even more specifically...any woman who would be interested in a man who went shirtless in his Profile picture...should be sterilized immediately out of fear that she could reproduce!! The world needs less idiots...allowing people like this to breed is both counterproductive and leads to more MASS POLITICAL E-MAILS!! See previous rant...

ALABAMA'S "14" NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS= I have gone on record many times the last several days and given credit where credit was due. I think Alabama is BY FAR the best team in the country and greatly deserves this National Championship. I congratulate them and MOST of their fans. That being said...could SOMEBODY, ANYBODY please have the integrity and intestinal fortitude to stand up and admit publicly that this is #9, not #14!! Even ESPN said "ALABAMA WINS THEIR 9TH CHAMPIONSHIP!!" Look...9 championships is an AMAZING accomplishment. We Auburn people would kill for half that number. So why is it necessary to add 5 unrecognized championships?? Your team has had storied success and a rich history...don't sully that by looking arrogant, entitled and delusional!! Stop making excuses...stop spinning it to take a shot at Auburn's "1.5" championships...and just MAN UP!! The world is waiting...

THE USE OF "WE" AS A COLLEGE FAN TO DESCRIBE A VICTORY AND/OR LOSS- this is one that my wife brought up to me that I must agree with whole-heartedly. If you didn't play in the game, nor did you ever set foot on campus as a student...their is no "WE" only "THEY." You have no connection to that victory/loss nor to that school other than the name on your mustard stained t-shirt that you purchased at Hibbet's. I'm not trying to be offensive...this goes for ALL fan bases. I'm not saying you can't be a fan if you didn't go to that school...just saying you AREN'T nor WILL YOU EVER BE...PART of that school or it's legacy. Accept your position...we have!!

PICTURES OF FOOD ON FACEBOOK- I don't care what you had for breakfast/lunch or dinner!! In fact...no one does!! We don't live in a 3rd world country where "food" is a status symbol. If you ate something amazing...I'm no more than a 4 hour drive from eating it too...regardless of what it is!! It isn't cute...it's obnoxious. Our parents said not to "play with our food"...I doubt they would want us to turn it into a slide-show either!!

SONG LYRICS ON "FACEBOOK"- I love music...like many people do. I love listening to melody, the instrumental work and yes...the lyricism. I don't need you to "COPY/PASTE"  a verbatim listing of your FAVORITE song on FACEBOOK!! You can say "I love the song "PLACE SONG HERE"...because of the beautiful lyrics!!" Then...guess what happens. People that actually care about your musical taste (both of them) will take to the internet just to find out what those amazing lyrics are. You have systematically made a statement that expresses your opinion...while forcing the people who might be interested (I have no idea why they would be...) to discover information for themselves. Now isn't that a beautiful partnership!!

WRITING HOW YOU "SPEAK"- It's bad enough if you choose to ignore all the rules of the English language by way of your speech patterns. It is more sad and pathetic...if you choose to display the same ignorance via the "written word." I have news for you...southern grammar/ebonics/slang...these are not recognized languages in "the world of the gainfully employed." The only thing this behavior will  lead to in this world...is people saying "So...how's that job hunt going?." If you sound like an idiot...if you write like an idiot...that is the impression people will take away from you. There is NO excuse for the inability to speak/write correctly. You don't have to be a Harvard graduate to conquer subject/verb agreement. But Hey...if your biggest aspiration in life is to be the "Hose Man" at Ray Ray and Jim Bob's Car "Warsh"...keep sending those moronic texts and indecipherable posts. The good news is...most people tip if their leather is thorougly wiped down!!

Finally...for any of you that I have thoroughly angered or offended...last but not least...

PEOPLE THAT BLOG AND THINK THAT THEIR OPINIONS/RANTS MATTER IN THE SLIGHTEST!!

Until next time friends...