HERE IS TO A NEW YEAR...AND A RE-BIRTH...

I will try and keep this short and sweet...though as most of you know "brevity" is not my strong suit.

The past two years have been nothing short of a "Roller Coaster" ride for Erin and I. The loss of my beloved Mother in June of 2010 left me hollow and miserable. This... coupled with several other issues... led Erin and I into deep marital disharmony. I must admit that I came close to making what would have been the most catastrophic decision of my life. Through a lot of love...open communication...and of course...THERAPY...we came through the lighted end of what seemed like a permanently dark tunnel.

Then came the miracle of all miracles...Erin's pregnancy. My Mother had died...our marriage had been rocky and now after a harrowing fertility experience that yielded nothing...life was handing us a tiny surprise!! 10 months later...I discovered what love TRULY was and nothing would ever be the same.

As 2012 looms a few days away...I find myself standing at what could be another life-changing year. Career changes for Erin and I stand as distinct possibilities in the coming months...Ella Giles is growing into more of a "little girl" everyday...I quit smoking...and in February...I will undergo Gastric Bypass surgery. I will admit that I am nervous and with each day my apprehension grows. That being said...the idea that 2012 could allow me to gaze into a mirror and like the face that is staring back at me...call me superficial...but it's worth any and all risk. I'm tired of being the funny, "fat" guy...just ready to be the "funny guy." No more preimptive jokes at my own expense due to my insecurity and social fears...no more dreading the family pictures at Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. Most importantly...no more worrying that my beautiful wife and perfect daughter will have to spend one second worrying that Daddy could die young because he just couldn't say "I'm full"!!

My weight does not define me...nor will the loss of said weight. However...I'm ready to show the world...who James Burden really is!! I can feel my confidence building everyday as I prepare for what is to come. I know that 2012 will be the greatest year yet and I hope and pray that all of my family and friends will experience the same re-birth that I know in my heart and soul is coming. I will keep you all updated on my progress...I know that this will be a struggle for nothing of value comes easy!!

 May God bless each and every one of you in the coming year. I ask for your thoughts and prayers for Ella Giles, Erin and I as we turn yet another corner in this Amazing Journey called life . God bless and I'll see you all next year (hopefully in some smaller pants!!)

How Far Have We Come??

I'm not going to waste much time today by talking about how ridiculously long it has been since I blogged. Nor am I going to make any promises that this is "the beginning of my consistency." All I will say is...today...I'm glad to be back and felt compelled to share something that has been weighing heavily on my heart since last night.

Erin and I both have either wanted to read "The Help" or in the least watch the movie. For months...we have both been inundated by how funny, sad, heart-warming and triumphant the book/movie was. Last night we rolled the dice and watched the film. Needless to say...it was "as advertised." I can count at least 5 times in which I openly sobbed and many more that I at least "teared up." In addition...the movie was incredibly funny and a brilliant portrayal of the "triumphant" human spirit.

As the movie ended..Erin and I spoke briefly about how it made us feel. Essentially reiterating the basic feelings of human regognition that any "decent" person would have...i.e..."How could anyone be so cold"..."How could there have ever been a time in history that this sort of behavior was "OK"? I mentioned to Erin that Mississippi was in my opinion "still pretty bad" in which she responded "We aren't far behind!" It made me think...and I thought through much of the night and through today. The question I asked myself was "How far have we REALLY come?"

Now...most people would say just look to our President to answer that question. The United States has elected an African American man as President...so obviously...all of the darkness has been cleared by light. I wish I could accept this theory as fact. Just take a look at the HATRED that exists towards Obama. Is there any President in American history that has been more scrutinized and dissected based on "suspected" flaws of character, birthplace, or religious association? Has there ever been a President more ambushed by way of e-mails, and fake news headlines with regard to his domestic and foreign policy? The bottom line is...have we ever lived in a more "venomous" and hate filled political time than we do now?? I personally don't think so and I can't help but believe that much of that is due largely to the President's pigmentation rather than his policies. As I have said numerous times...hate the policy...don't hate the "man." The things I hear and receive via e-mail with regard to Obama aren't in reference to his policies...but are assaults on his very core as a human being. It's sad...it's alarming and it's an overall commentary on how far our society has come....not very!!

I've beaten the Obama "dead horse" many times in this blog so I am choosing to move on. Mark my words...50 years from now...regardless of how his Presidency is viewed from a "success" perspective...it will be studied and scrutinized as a "case" in how our country reacted when it decided to go "against the grain." I hope I'm alive to read it...

I'm not suggesting that our country is Jackson, Mississippi circa the 1960's...but I am suggesting there are plenty of people that wish it were. We live in a state that is crumbling economically. A state where the education system is 49th...saved from #50 by the previously mentioned locale. Our infant mortality rate is one of the highest in the country and our literacy rate is one of the lowest. You pass more vehicles with confederate flags affixed to their windshields than college alumni stickers and we buy more guns online than books!! Yet...what is the present state administrations primary concern?? Let's get those dirty, brown people back to Mexico where they belong!!

 Don't worry about education, roads, employment or child health....we need to promote a system of profiling and prejudice...in order to crack down on the "real problem."
The "real problem" is that the south...for decades...has been the poster child for unacceptance, obstinance and institutionalized ignorance. We like to stand up and brag about southern hospitality but we fail to include the fact that this hospitality is only extended to those who "look like us." How can so many people sit idly by and keep their mouths shut while Alabama...once again...becomes a national laughing stock and a beacon of backward thinking??

Let's see...just a re-cap of our newsworthy highlights from the last 10 years... 1) Roy Moore challenges a federal judge and has a granite statue of the "Ten Commandments" wheeled into the Alabama Supreme Court building. 2) The state votes to repeal the ban on Interracial Marriage...and succeeds. However...41% of voters wanted it to stand!! This means that 41% of Alabamians on that day wanted interracial marriage to be a PUNISHABLE CRIME!! But hey...we've come a long way from Bull Connor's Birmingham!! 3) A Madison County Councilperson is on record as saying he wants to see new immigration  laws do everything "outside of shooting them" to keep illegals out of our country. 4) Alabama passes the TOUGHEST IMMIGRATION LAW in the Unites States. This law is so tough that the Federal Government files a LAWSUIT attempting to block the legislation. But hey...we do have 3 National Championships between the 2 state schools!! My beloved Auburn made me proud...but not proud enough to ignore the disturbing trend that our state and others seem to be on.

I have said many times that "racism", "sexism" or any other negative "-ism" is learned behavior. Children are born pure of heart...with no knowledge of self imposed "differences" and cultural barriers. My little girl has been held by a wide variety of races, creeds, nationalities and people of religious differences. Her expression never changed...she recognizes only one thing...and that is human contact, warmth and love. Children, like animals, can sense who is comfortable around them. An infant cries when they feel that their "safety zone" has been compromised. They work off of instinct...and this instinct is based on "trust." How is it that we can steer so far away from this base "trust?" What leads us down this dark road of prejudice, judgement and fear?? My answer...parents, families, peers and leaders!!

The people that exhibited evil behavior in the 1960's and in previous years didn't just die out. Changes in law didn't suddenly change their mindset overnight nor did it switch on a lightbulb resulting in a self awareness that had previously been unrecognizable. I'm not saying people aren't capable of "awakenings" but let's face facts...they are rare!! These men and women who fought so hard to keep the status quo in place...might have failed on the "national stage" but their rhetoric and opinions lived on. They grew old and more bitter by the day. Through the years...this skewed mentality was passed on to children, grandchildren...maybe even great grandchildren. Perhaps many of their family members recognized these as the futile musings of an elderly man/woman attempting to cling to a forgotten world. But what about those that didn't? What about those kids that listened to parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors and took it all to heart. Then their children were exposed...and their grandchildren...before you know it...an epidemic of ignorance and short sightedness has permeated their very being. Thousands, maybe millions of people....walking the earth with no knowledge of their fellow man other than the hate speech and prejudice that was fed to them with each daily meal!!

So here we are....some 50 years later...and my question is...have we really come that far?? Is 5 decades enough time for these people to die out and that darkness to be reabsorbed by the light? Or is it just enough time to see the cyclical nature of history as once again...Alabama stands as the national leader in systematic discrimination amidst the red herring of "immigration control." I merely ask you to think deeply about our world...am I that off base? Until next time friends....

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN "OVERPAID" SOLDIER...

Over the last several months...I have ranted, raved, waxed poetic and joked about a wide variety of issues. Based on the feedback that I have received...the emotional reaction has varied greatly. My words have made a few of you cry, a few of you laugh and sadly...my words have likely permanently damaged more than one friendship. Initially...this blog was...in my mind...intended to be somewhat cathartic. It would become a way for me to escape the grind of day-to-day life...and cleanse myself of all the bad "ju ju" that circulates through my twisted mind. Over time...I realized that I was very short sighted in thinking that something this passionate would exist on a level that simplistic. I have realized that many of these issues and/or ramblings are not just important to me...but to many of you guys as well. I knew that people would disagree with me often but I truly was unprepared for the backlash that a few of my blogs brought. Thus far, my words were not intended to influence but merely to espouse my own personal ideals. While insulting and ridiculous to some...they have always been from the heart and will continue to be. Today...however...I write not to just share my values but to deeply influence all who read what I am about to say!!

Through the years...I have had many friends that chose the military as a career. Some were active duty while others had received an honorable discharge and/or retirement. I have friends that have fought in Bosnia, Somalia, the first Gulf war, Afghanistan and the present "War" in Iraq. Both of my Grandfathers were WWII veterans...with my paternal Grandfather dying in the "Battle of the Bulge" in Belgium. My Mother's father was a Marine in the Pacific Theatre and returned home with a large hole in his leg, weighing less than 100 pounds and suffering from a deadly case of malaria. Like ALL of those that choose to place their lives in harms way....these men were and will ALWAYS be heroes!!

We all have these stories via family, friends and loved ones. For many of us...like myself...the idea of this sort of self sacrifice and risk is unthinkable. I have always said that I do not have the mentality and self discipline that it would take to be successful within a military environment. To be more honest...I'M NOT MAN ENOUGH!! The idea that these young men and women strap on nearly 100 pounds of gear (more in many circumstances...I'm sure) and are whisked away to hellish parts of our world in order to fight wars, battles, skirmishes, or in many cases...just to protect those that can't protect themselves...for months and years at a time...literally makes it hard for me to breathe. While I have never supported the recent war in Iraq...I never stopped supporting our men and women in uniform. For me...I just couldn't bear the thought of what I thought was pointless loss of life. That being said...as my disgust over the War has SLOWLY festered and grown...my admiration for military personnel continues to grow at an EXPONENTIAL rate!! This admiration and respect is what has laid upon my heart the need to send every ounce of my support towards these often "taken for granted" heroes...as our government discusses the prospect of cutting their benefits and possibly their salary.

As the title of this Blog states...in my humble opinion...THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN "OVERPAID" SOLDIER!! How can you possibly, under any circumstances, place a price tag on self sacrifice?? These men and women aren't "drafted" to take care of a necessity or requirement...they volunteer and literally go through "HELL" in order to be "the best of the best." Months of harsh, unthinkable training; followed by years of movement from base-to-base...never knowing when or where they might end up. Then...of course...the inevitable deployment where often they must face their own mortality, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, sometimes for years at a time!! I dare ANYONE to name me ONE job where employees are forced to endure a "work load" that is anywhere comparable to that of the military. Show me ONE occupation that requires a man or a woman to spend upwards of one year not having the ability  to lay eyes on their spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends and overall loved ones. Give me ONE example of a position in which you can lose a leg or arm during the work day...and a few weeks later...you are REQUIRED to do the same "unsafe and dangerous" things that resulted in your dismemberment. I challenge anyone to name one job that holds a candle to that of a military lifestyle...a job that people often never make it home from...a job that often requires miserable living conditions in extreme temperatures...a job that requires you to lay down your life for people that you have never met...or a job that requires you to be spat upon by those who don't want you in their country...or worse...to be hated and reviled by many in your OWN!!

I have expressed my support for many of the Obama Administrations policies...however the very consideration  that Military compensation could be reduced in ANY way shape or form...is both disgraceful and disgusting. Our economy is not in the shape that we find it in because of our military heroes. Our economy is collapsing because of greed and the overextension of the private sector's financial lives. The blame should rest on we the consumer and the Corporate whores who have been and continue to rape this country through the avoidance of tax law and total disregard for humanity. Enough is enough...as stated in Oliver Stone's "Wall Street"..."How many Yacht's can you ski behind??" As we continue to fret about whether our cars have leather interior, or if TIVO is DVR'ing our favorite show...these people are DYING!! We sit by a brand new pool sipping mixed drinks and bitching about "how bad things are"...they are hunkered down in a Middle Eastern desert...dodging 8 year olds with bombs strapped to their chests!!

To even dare mention "out loud" that ANY military personnel should receive benefit reductions...is not just unconscionable...it is treasonous!! There is fat in every aspect of our government...and I have no doubt that the Military carries some of that fat. That being said...our brave men and women in uniform do not and will not ever represent WASTE or FAT!! Cut the contractors, cut out Haliburton, Black Water, etc...these are the problem areas...not young people struggling to carry out a mission...regardless of how ridiculous and politically flawed it may be!!

In my line of work...if things don't go well for our employees...they have the ability to STRIKE in order to achieve better wages, work environment, hours, etc. What would happen in this country if ALL military personnel decided to do the same?? How safe do you think we would be?? How vulnerable would we then be to outside acts of terror?? These are things we take for granted because we are raised to believe that Military men and women are robots...mindless, war machines...who are trained to never ask questions and to run blindly into the darkness. Well my friends...they are people...with families...emotions...and feelings!!  Now is the time that we...in the private sector...stand up and fight for them as they have so bravely fought for us over the past 200 plus years!!

I don't know exactly what an average member of the U.S. Military makes. I have a pretty good idea based on what I have been told by friends of mine who are presently deployed...and with benefits, housing, etc. it amounts to somewhere around $50,000. If ANYONE thinks that is OVERPAID for the service they provide...I will pray that the fires of hell aren't too hot for you!! There are secretaries in this country that make MORE than that!! With all due respect to secretaries...a gunshot wound and a paper cut are not comparable injuries!!

I urge each and every person that reads this blog to contact the office of your Congressional representative, the office of both your Senatorial representatives...and raise holy hell about this issue!! We need to do everything in our power to AT LEAST maintain the level of compensation that our brothers and sisters in uniform are presently receiving. Write editorials, send out mass emails, contact the Democratic National Committe, the Republican National Committe and ANYONE else that you can think of. Please join with me in letting Washington know that while we will stand for a lot...we will not "go quietly into that good night" on this issue!! Personally...if they can take a bullet for me...I can write a letter or make a phone call for them!!

Please send me a response...and it can be anonymous...if you share my outrage. Let's let the Obama Administration know that VOTES will determine his legacy from this point on. I have supported him thus far...but I've changed my mind about people before!! Please send me a message...even if it is anonymous...if you share my outrage and plan some sort of action...

May God continue to bless the men and women of our military and May He continue to bless the United States of America...

Until next time my friends....

A FAT MAN'S GUIDE TO FASHION...

So yesterday...I was inspired through "visual inspiration" to remark on FACEBOOK about the fashion choices of some of my "beefy brethren." Upon further review...I decided to dedicate my latest blog to a few more of my personal queries with regard to "FATTY FASHION." So following incendiary political blogs, and my tear-jerking baby blog...I present to you my attempt at humor and just a few thoughts that often run through my sick head....

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #1: Fat men...like myself...should NEVER tuck in a Polo!! Let that bad boy hangout or invest in long sleeve dress shirts!! You look like mystery meat stuffed in a sausage casing!! Trust me...I'm a professional!!

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #2: Tight and/or "form fitting" clothing was and is designed for one group of people "the thin/athletic!!" If you are a male and you do not have the physique of a professional athlete...there should NEVER be a size MEDIUM or LARGE draped over your body!! If it appears that the material of your shirt and your belt are one entity...go change!!

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #3: As a continuation of FT #2...if you have the body of a Pudding Cup...please for God sakes...stay away from UNDER ARMOUR!! In the least...wear it as an undershirt and if you purchase an UNDER ARMOUR t-shirt always go up a size. Nothing says sexy like a hairy, gut protruding through breathable material. Seriously guys...you aren't in "sports shape" anymore...let it go!!

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #4: Jogging pants don't look good on ANYBODY!! There have been great strides made in the world of "loungewear" these days. If you even consider going to the store and purchasing any sort of sweatshirt/sweatpant set made by Hanes, Jockey, etc...you should go ahead and pull that mile's worth of string out of the waist band and hang your fat ass from the nearest load bearing wall!! You have obviously given up on life anyway...

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #5: Double breasted suits are not designed for men who have "double breasts!!" Nothing accentuates the "bulges of a behemoth" like wrap around cloth!! In fact...anyone with a double breasted suit...get rid of that damn thing. They haven't been in style for about 10 years...

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #6: If your gut is faintly visible beneath the bottom of your t-shirt...guess what...your t-shirt is too freaking small!! Unless you are Lady Gaga...clothing is designed to cover the ENTIRE body...not to reveal tiny peaks at "what lies beneath." I have been in the BIG & TALL section and I know damn well that those sizes go into the stratosphere... so there are no excuses for the "Tiny T." Here is a great test...just raise those beef shank arms of yours...if you look down and see "Mt. St. Cheesyfries"...get some bigger T-shirts!!

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #7: Whatever you do...under no circumstances...should you ever wear a TURTLENECK!! I mean seriously...it looks like someone is trying to squeeze the last drop of Colgate out of the tube!! You already don't have a neck and more Chins than Honda's Corporate Office...why do you want to smash and smush all of that greasy, buttery landscape you call  a face into some sort of contorted horror show!! Plus...just like the above reference...who was the last "cool" person you saw in a turtleneck?? Remember...clingy material is not your friend!!

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #8: Not all hats were created equal. Many of you...like me...suffer from a serious ailment known to the medical world as "cranius magnificus" or in layman's terms "BIG ASS HEAD." If the hat isn't designed as a TRUCKER HAT...it isn't supposed to look like one!! If you aren't Jewish...yet Rabbi's walk up to you on the street and ask if you are attending temple anywhere..it's because your hat looks like a yamaka!! Tightening it up..only makes it worse. A hat is designed to cover the whole head..not part of it...otherwise it would be a beanie or a halo!! If hats don't look good on you...just take a shower or brush your hair!! Let's face it..we need all the help we can get!!

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #9: Please..for the love of God...wear an UNDERSHIRT!! Yes...I know that you see cool people on television with no undershirt and about 6 unbuttoned spots down their trendy chest. However...they are usually "hairless" or at least closely trimmed and they have something we lack... "muscle definition." Gentlemen...let me be the first to let you in on a little secret...Man cleavage or "meavage" is not sexy!! No woman or man for that matter...wants to stare at your hairy mounds of sadness!! If you can't brush your teeth without your "mitties" knocking things off the bathroom counter...try and keep the "juice from getting loose." Think of the undershirt as your own MANZIER!! A nice male support mechanism that helps keep your little hormonal secret just that...a secret!!

Fat Boy Fashion Tip #10: If your shirt, pants, coat, etc. has any sort of stain related to food and/or drink...please change ASAP!! Nothing says pathetic like Fatty McNosex...walking around aimlessly wearing the Ryan's buffet on his chest!! It is degrading to you and the rest of us...we the self respecting "FATTY BRIGADE" who prefer not to carry the stench of mustard, relish and heart disease with us for the rest of the day!! The food goes in your mouth Tubby...not on your lapel!! If you can't change..at least give it the old "college try" and wipe off as much as you can. We live in a world where we are judged...and few people take kindly to chicken wings falling from your armpits during job interviews!!

Just a few observations from a big man who tries. Until next time friends...

MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT...

As most of you already know...at 4:28 p.m. on May 3, 2011...Erin and I welcomed the newest member of the Burden family...Ella Giles!! Much like her Mother...Ella Giles was running a little late...and we opted to schedule an induction on Tuesday morning. Thank God...Erin was in ZERO pain leading up to the delivery. The epidural was administered relatively early, her water was broken and a few hours later...our lives were changed forever!!

Most people asked me if I planned to go "down there" during the delivery...or if I would stay by my wife's head...holding her hand and waiting for the doctor to hand us our new gift. From day one...I was adamant that I wanted to witness it...in fact...early on...Erin had mentioned that Dr. Curtis might actually let me "deliver" the baby. Of course...all of this is easier said than done.

I decided to "stick a toe in the shallow in"...so I watched them break her water. I wasn't freaked out, or grossed out...I felt good and I thought I was ready. A few hours later...a final check revealed Erin was at 10 cm and it was time to push. The bed quickly morphed into a delivery table...a variety of medical instruments was brought out and the head nurse started working with Erin as we waited on the doctor.

I cautiously walked to the foot of the bed and stood by Kristy (Erin's RN)...as I peered down...I could see the top of Ella Giles head!! It literally took my breath away...not because it was "gross" or "freaky" but because I was witnessing the greatest natural miracle on earth!! A few more pushes and the babies head was crowning...we were almost there. Dr. Curtis walked in, sat down and gave a few more "push" directives. Then he jumped up and told me to take a seat. I was sweating like a pig, wrapped in a blue surgical top and scared out of my mind!! I remember whispering "Oh dear God"...and took my seat. Now understand...I thought we still had a while...maybe 5-10 more pushes as the baby slowly made her final approach...I WAS WRONG!! I sat down...Dr. Curtis showed me where to place my hands (one on the front of her head...while another supported her neck)...he asked Erin to push one more time....and then...

Ella Giles popped out into my arms like a cliff diver making an ascent for that desperate breath. I had subconsciously stopped breathing...I know this because as soon as I heard her cry...I felt my lungs once again begin moving and I inhaled a massive amount of oxygen!! Dr. Curtis asked me to cut the cord...but I was so terrified of dropping my slippery new bundle of joy that I passed. I figured pulling her out of the birth canal was enough excitement for one day!!

I could feel the tears rolling down my face as we walked towards the head of the bed and I handed her to Erin. She could no longer hold back her emotions and my wife sobbed with joy as she gently wiped away the blood and fluid from Ella Giles' tiny body. I too surrendered to this overwhelming emotion and I stood beside her...holding Erin's hand...crying my eyes out and refusing to let go of this beautiful new angel. They eventually took Ellla Giles to the warmer for further cleaning and stabilization. I had not yet hugged Erin because of all that was going on. I simply said "Hi" and "can I get to you now?" We embraced for what seemed like an hour and literally cried on each others shoulders. We looked into each others eyes and almost simultaneously said "she's beautiful!"

I finally had the chance to hold her in my arms...so tiny, so fragile, so innocent of the world's evil. I sat in a chair as I watched Dr. Curtis work for almost 2 hours suturing Erin...this was the result of significant internal tearing resulting from Ella Giles' birth. As I held this beautiful baby...I looked up at my amazing wife....oxygen on her face...feet in the stirrups...bleeding profusely...and all I could think was...this is why mother's are the strongest and most important people on this planet!! No man could endure that pain, stress, hardship, emotional upheaval or sheer exhaustion that accompanies childbirth. If anyone has any doubts or questions about who is the "stronger" sex...spend a few hours in a Labor and Delivery ward!!

My entire life...people have said to me that "there is no greater love than that of a parent for a  child". Or they would comment... "you will never know that you are capable of loving something so much...until you hold her/him in your hands". None of these comments meant anything to me...in fact...I usually privately scoffed at them as hyperbole and just the ramblings of people who were "baby obsessed." Wow...have I been eating a lot of crow since May 3!!

I loved Ella Giles in the womb...and I was concerned about the health and well being of both she and Erin. However...the moment those big, beautiful blue eyes opened...she had me!! She is the first thing on my mind when I wake and the last thing that crosses it before I drift to sleep. I immediately go and look at her before I start getting ready in the morning and I always have to hold her one more time before going to bed. I know now why my Mother always told me..."James, without you in my life, I have NOTHING to live for." People find a way to make it following tragedy... and I get that...but in one week...I have created a bond with Ella Giles that is indescribable even for a wordy, overdramatic, sap like me!! All I can say is that I THOUGHT I knew what love was...I had NO IDEA!!

Sometimes...like now...I will think of her and just start crying. That is how much joy that she fills my heart with. Having her in my life has given me a peace and solace that I honestly never thought was possible to obtain. I worry...that hasn't changed...I'm still the same guy...but I know that as long as Erin, James, Ella Giles, Barkley, Sullivan, Haley and Harper are together...there is no obstacle that we can't and won't overcome!! I have gained a new respect for my wife...I have gained a new perspective on life...but greatest of all...God showed me a miracle when my heart was the most cold and unwelcoming. I have struggled with my faith for some time and it is still a struggle...however...you can't watch the birth of your child without feeling the breath of God in the room!! I can feel God working in my life...breathing new life into me...it is a slow process but He knows me and that it will take time!!

At the end of the day...my house, my marriage or my life will never be the same...but in a good way. I can't wait until our rooms are filled with the barks of dogs...followed by the laughter of an inquisitive little girl. I can't wait until the words "Mommy" & "Daddy" are the only words that matter. I can't wait until I wake up in the morning to soft kisses on my face...as Ella Giles is ready to start her day. I can't wait to walk in from work..and see our kitchen in shambles cause Mommy and Daughter were baking cookies...cause they both know how much Daddy loves them!! Most of all...I can't wait for 4:00 p.m...when I can return home to the two most beautiful and important women in my life!!

Until next time friends....

GREAT ANNOUNCEMENT...DISTURBING REACTIONS...

Last night...Erin and I sat glued to the television. The President of the United States had a "major" announcement to this country and to the "world". As the time began to tick away...prior to the President's address...we soon realized that a man who became the face of "Global Terrorism" had finally met his end and for the moment... the United States took a collective sigh of relief. For more than 10 long years...this "animal" had eluded capture. The search covered 3 Presidential administrations and on May 1, 2011...it concluded. I'm not going to try and hyperbolize what this means to our country as a whole. However...this morning...the families of so many innocent victims can finally feel vindicated that justice has been served and America, once again, symbolically proved that our resolve is relentless!! The head of the snake has been removed and though the body may continue to writh and the toxins of its poison still remain deadly...inevitably...the snake will die!! Let us celebrate this great accomplishment as a united country and a thankful WORLD!!

Now...onto the topic "du jour." Erin and I both sat and watched every word of Obama's speech to the world. I hung on every breath and quite frankly...dissected everything he said. I told Erin prior to its beginning what "I thought" it was necessary for him to say. Quite frankly...he exceeded "MY" expectations and I was moved to tears. Of course...as expected...many people did not have a similar reaction!!

As I have repeated "ad nauseum" within the confines of this blog...I  NEVER expect other people to completely "agree" with my political beliefs and/or viewpoints. Granted...it is always nice when I find someone like-minded...in this part of the world... for the past 32 years...it has become quite a rarity. For most...it is a known fact where my allegiances lie and where my political leanings are tilted. That being said...what I witnessed last night...had nothing to do with political leanings or philosophy and everything to do with meanness and hatred!!

As hundreds...or perhaps thousands...of Americans took to the streets of Washington, DC to cheer and celebrate the destruction of the greatest evil since Adolph Hitler...other people took to FACEBOOK...in order to question the motives and more specifically...to skeptically critique every word of President Obama's speech. Once again...I don't mind political cynicism but I will not stand by and be a party to falsehood, misinformation and overall dangerous propaganda!!

I wanted to address several of the accusations that were flying around the internet. The first and perhaps the most aggregious was that Obama either "didn't thank our troops at all" or "didn't thank them enough." So let's address that issue. In my heightened state of irritation I was unable to sleep and downloaded an official transcript of Obama's speech last night. So did he "thank" our troops?? Here are some excerpts...

"Over the last 10 years, thanks to the tireless and heroic work of our military and our counterterrorism professionals, we’ve made great strides in that effort. We’ve disrupted terrorist attacks and strengthened our homeland defense. In Afghanistan, we removed the Taliban government, which had given bin Laden and al Qaeda safe haven and support. And around the globe, we worked with our friends and allies to capture or kill scores of al Qaeda terrorists, including several who were a part of the 9/11 plot."

Sure sounds like he is giving credit to our military...Here is another....

"A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability. No Americans were harmed. They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body."

They did it..not him...right? He wasn't finished though...

"After nearly 10 years of service, struggle, and sacrifice, we know well the costs of war. These efforts weigh on me every time I, as Commander-in-Chief, have to sign a letter to a family that has lost a loved one, or look into the eyes of a service member who’s been gravely wounded."

Stll think he was avoiding our military?? How about this...

"Tonight, we give thanks to the countless intelligence and counterterrorism professionals who’ve worked tirelessly to achieve this outcome. The American people do not see their work, nor know their names. But tonight, they feel the satisfaction of their work and the result of their pursuit of justice."

Oh wait...there's more...

"We give thanks for the men who carried out this operation, for they exemplify the professionalism, patriotism, and unparalleled courage of those who serve our country. And they are part of a generation that has borne the heaviest share of the burden since that September day."

In case you weren't keeping count...that was 5 times..in a relatively short speech...that the Presdent chose to address our military/ counter-terrorism operatives and congratulate them for their heroism and overall sacrifice. No reason for me to spend time arguing this point...the proof is in his words!!

The next "idea" that seemed to be prevalent among many of my FACEBOOK friends...was that Obama repeatedly used the word "I"...essentially accusing him of taking ALL the credit for this action. Therefore...I took it upon myself to try and differentiate his word usage. First and foremost...the President used the word "I" or "me" 10 times in his speech. It should be noted that most of the "I" usage was with regard to direct orders he was giving the military. Now...how many times did the President use the words "we" or "us"? I might have missed one or two..but I counted 70 TIMES!! "I" 10 times...and "we" or "us"...70 times!! I won't bore you with the percentage comparison...let's just say that this argument DOESN'T HOLD WATER!!

Beyond these two points...there was a variety of angry rhetoric that focused on healthcare...and the President's Birth Certificate. I REFUSE to address either of these issues again...other than to say Universal Health Care was approved by the House and the Senate (though I never think it will see the light of day) and the Birth Certificate issue WAS put to rest several years ago yet LUNATICS wouldn't let it go. Now the President jumps through hoops to provide an "original" BC and it still isn't enough?? I just wish people could see the forrest for the trees!!

Last night was a moment that we should have embraced as a whole...a country united, celebrating the end of decades worth of bloodhsed, tears and misery. Instead...we remain disjointed, partisan and isolated by the walls of our own devisiveness. Again, I reiterate....disagree with his "political views" and my own for that matter...but try not to be so blinded by your own political anger that you can't see ANY good in a pivotal moment in American history. Instead of wasting so much time disparaging the President for what he HASN'T done...how about taking two seconds to say THANK YOU for achieving something that whether you like it or not...didn't/couldn't happen under the watchful eye of President Bush!!

The bottom line is this...there are a lot of people in the US today who have a tremendous amount of egg on their face. Obama was NEVER going to find Bin Laden...I mean...they are both Muslims anyway...he didn't really want to find him!! Once Obama was elected...there would be MASSIVE attacks on our country by terrorists because of his "soft" military stand...right?? In fact...the entire country was going to fall into the dirty, non-christian hands of the Middle East!! So let's recap some of these predictions...

As of May 1, 2011...Congress and the Senate have passed Universal Health Care. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" has been officially repealed. The United States has slowly healed the fractures that existed between our allies in Europe and elsewhere. The military presence in Iraq and Afghanistan remain...however the situations seem to be stabilizing. We have helped overthrow a Dictator in Egypt, and presently have another one dodging missiles in Libya (sounds eerily familiar to what another REPUBLICAN President did to him in the 80's...right?), and now the world's most wanted fugitive...Satan Incarnate is DEAD!!

Don't get me wrong...this country still has myriad problems!! The economy is bad...people are out of work...terrorism still exists and will continue to exist... and gas prices are headed for the stratosphere. However...can't we agree...in one moment...that last night...President Barach Obama, the military, the CIA and other governmental personnel did something that NO ONE else has been able to do??

 Whether you like it or not...agree or disagree...this Presidency unlike its predecessor will NOT be viewed as a FAILURE or a series of bad decisions!! Even if Obama only has 1 term...and that is growing more doubtful by the day...history will view him as a young, energetic, progressive...who perhaps tried too hard to achieve great things in too short a period of time. If that sounds familiar...see William Jefferson Clinton...you know the President that got a "happy ending" in the Oval Office...a.k.a. the last guy that provided this country with a BUDGET SURPLUS!! I wish people could remember that perception is always relative. I see that...I realize that I celebrate a politcal victory while others see it as a defeat!! I also recognize that even my so-called politcal "adversaries" are HUMAN BEINGS!! I didn't like George Bush but I NEVER took part in  vicious and unwarranted public attacks and scrutiny against him that I have seen during Obama's short tenure. I was proud of how Bush handled 9-11 and supported his decisions..until we entered Iraq. I also NEVER blamed him or the Federal government for ALL of the tragedy in New Orleans following Katrina. That being said...I find it remarkably ironic how many of these same people relentlessly attacking Obama...were the chief "apologists" and "excuse makers" for all of Bush's misstakes. These were the same people who burned Dixie Chick CD's and assailed Hollywood for their "liberal agenda!!" As I said before...perception is relative!!

This morning I am proud of my President...proud of my military/CIA/etc/...and proud of the resolve exhibited  by my beloved yet flawed country. That being said...I continue to be disappointed by friends, family, loved ones...and complete strangers... who refuse to accept ANY of Obama's achievements as "good", "righteous" or for that matter "real." This morning I was addressed in a response and was told that Obama was "my" President. To take a page out of the Right Wing playbook...as long as you CHOOSE to live in this country...he is YOUR President too!!

After 9/11...this country came together in a way that I have never seen. However...it is very apparent to me that as a WHOLE...we are a long way from getting back to that type of unity!! I will leave everyone with a few final words from our President's speech last night. I hope and pray that soon...very soon...we can all live together in what has sadly become a seemingly far removed reality that he speaks of...

"On September 11, 2001, in our time of grief, the American people came together. We offered our neighbors a hand, and we offered the wounded our blood. We reaffirmed our ties to each other, and our love of community and country. On that day, no matter where we came from, what God we prayed to, or what race or ethnicity we were, we were united as one American family."

Until next time friends...

Disappointing Day...

I was hit with a massive disappointment today so I guess the only way to deal with it is to talk about it. For the last several weeks, I have been anxiously awaiting word about a job that I applied for within the same plant that I already work. It would have been a promotion and would have been accompanied by a hefty increase in pay. I was told today that they decided to go in a different direction...hiring someone from outside the plant. I appreciated the openness of the "powers that be" to let me be the first to know however it doesn't take away the sting and deflated ego that I am feeling. I personally think the young man that was hired will do a great job; he already has the correct background and he is very young. I don't begrudge him nor those that made the decision...I guess I just have an old fashioned case of "hurt feelings."

I find myself dtruggling everyday with the idea that I am a "failure." Not in the traditional sense...but with regard to the expectations that I have placed on myself. I look at my wife working 12-16 hour days...as a pregnant woman...and it absolutely breaks my heart. I desperately want to look at her...one day...and tell her that she doesn't have to work!! I realize that I am only 32...however I certainly saw myself achieveing so much more at this stage in my life. I have tried to be a good husband...though I often fail. I have tried to be a good employee...though I often fail. I have tried to stay positive and focused...hoping that a better opportunity for advancement will come my way...and yes...failure once again.

I know this isn't the end of the world...I'm just uber-frustrated. I know that there is so much more that I could do and so many accomplishments waiting for me to tackle...yet I feel like something is holding me back. I suppose a Master's Degree would help...but the timing is horrible. With a baby on the way...my wife's job hanging in the balance...and an overall "awful" economy...I just don't feel comfortable taking that risk or the financial responsibility. It also doesn't help that we live in an area void of "opportunity." The rest of the country is hurting with massive job loss...but Demopolis...like many small towns...is the victim of "zero" growth!!

So I ponder...what will be my next move. Do I actively pursue jobs elsewhere...take a job...leave town...hope that we can sell our house in the meantime?? Do I stick it out...keep plugging away and work that much harder at the job that I have now?? Do I throw caution to the wind and go back to school?? Truth is...I have no idea. All I know is that right now...I have never been more terrified of my own mediocrity!!

I am not writing this blog so that people can give me a pep talk..or tell me everything will be OK and that I'm not a failure. The bottom line is...no one knows. This isn't a compliment "fishing trip"...believe me I'm not that self absorbed nor insecure. I guess I just recognize how cathartic this blog has been and I just needed to lay everything out in "words." Years ago, this is how I always dealt with emotional upheavel. Often it was with that archaic "pen and paper" that we seldom use anymore!! Writing and music have always been an escape for me...and since singing at the top of my lungs in the office will doubtfully halp any furture career plans...I'll stick with the blog!!

I know that so many of you have been where I am now and I guess that is another way that I am able to cope. This has been one of the most emotionally taxing years of my life. I lose my mother, Erin and I have some serious issues within our marriage, we discover that she is pregnant, she finds out they are closing labor and delivery...and now...no promotion!! I say these things not list how much worse my life has been than everyone else...but to simply illustrate its overriding difficulty. I'm not special...I'm not dealing with anything that anyone else hasn't dealt with. However...it is so easy in our human selfishness and frailty to get bogged down in the "Why Me?" mentality. This blog is to prevent that from happening!!

I'm sad...and a little depressed but I also know that no matter what...Erin and I are about to embark on one of the greatest adventures that two people could possibly be blessed with!! Every night I close my eyes...and she is on my mind. When I awake the next morning...she's still there. The things I used to care about are slowing melting away. I find myself wondering...will she like writing...will she excel in music...will she be an "academic"...will she love the arts...will she be athletic...or all of the above!! I hope she knows that WHATEVER avenue and dream she strives for...her mother and father will be right there to support it. I might have to sell my blood or take out a second mortgage on my house...but for Ella Giles...I will spend the rest of my life making sure that her path is free of all obstacles!!

She and my beautiful, supportive wife are what keep me going. I don't know what I would do without Erin and she didn't hesitate...when I let her know...to tell me that she loved me and was proud of me...either way. On a weekend that I missed my Mother intently...I am so blessed to have a wife that truly has completed me...and continues to make me a better man!! I ask for everyone's prayers as Erin and I prepare to welcome Ella Giles...in addition...pray that we will recognize God's will and the path that He has chosen for us all.

As always...thanks for listening. Until next time friends...

The Morning After...

After a lively day of debate yesterday on a variety of issues...I had several hours last night to sit and reflect on the days events. I debated with myself on whether to respond or just let "sleeping dogs lie." Not surprising to most of you....I chose to be over-analytical and talk a little bit about the contents of yesterday's blog, in addition to the "very emotional" reactions.

Everyone who knows me...even a little bit...is aware that I am very outspoken. I am the first one to admit that at times...I lack a censor button and am certainly not afraid to hurl myself into a "hornet's nest" for the sake of getting my point across. Obviously...this "hair trigger" mouth...often can create firestorms and clashes of emotion as they relate to very personal issues. Yesterday would be a perfect example of this phenomenon.

I would like to take a few moments to discuss the intent of my blog yesterday. I said from the very beginning that this was a "no holds barred", "not going to censor myself", rant. I warned everyone beforehand that some of the information could be deemed offensive. In addition...to be perfectly honest...this blog is for "me." I love that fact that people read it and comment...it gives me a sense of purpose to know that people look forward to reading what I have to say. That being said...it is an outlet for expression and emotional venting...which will always be my # 1 goal.

 I do welcome discourse and differing opinions. I feel that in this world and certainly in our society...debate is the key to our future. That being said...I had NO IDEA that my opinions would spark such personal attacks and anger...all of which were completely inappropriate and unnecessary.

All of my blogs are rooted in irritation; often a strong irritation at certain ideas. Yesterday's blog was an attack on "ideas" and a "mindset"...not people. It was a public address of what "I" would label a growing "extremism" in this country. A "fringe" group of people who have decided that political disagreements and policy differences aren't enough for public discussion. Now...for many...the most easily accessible political weapon is a sharp tongue, personal attacks and gross exaggeration of the truth...if relying on any truth at all. I never attacked "conservatives" or "Republicans"...I attacked "right wing extremists"...as I have ALWAYS done in my blogs. I supported the idea that immigrants are not an "evil scourge" in this country...as I have always done. I also supported the idea of "reasonable" gun control...as I have always done. I  even threw in a few shots at "redneck" Alabama fans as I have always done...AND WILL ALWAYS DO!!

Now for what I didn't say. I never suggested that we "open our borders" and let ANY and ALL manner of illegal immigrants "bum rush" our borders. I was attacking an "immigration legislation" which I think is unconstitutional and I truly believe will eventually be recognized as such. Racial Profiling and Illegal Immigration are and should be... completely isolated from one another. That was the point that I was trying to make. I do not nor will I ever believe that Civil Rights can be compromised for "the greater good." I also think that historical documentation (not revisionist history)...would point out that our forefathers would share these views. You can't cling to the flag, call yourself a patriot, love the 2nd Ammendment...then take a Sharpie to the rest of the Constitution that you think can be ommitted or that you deem unnecessary. "Inalienable rights" may be an abstract idea...but by now...we should all understand their implied meaning.

As to the Birther Movement...I make NO APOLOGIES for anything that I said about this phenomenon. What more can the President do to appease the bloodlust of this angry and sad group of people?? A copy of the record of birth has been submitted...the state of Hawaii has verified everything...and both local newspapers in Honolulu printed birth announcements on that day for a newborn son born to Barack Obama's parents. We found Sadaam Hussein in a spider hole...somewhere in the middle of Iraq. Don't you think the "powers that be" could track down information that would ultimately be one of the biggest stories in American politics?? Even Republicans (at least the ones that matter) have long sense put this issue to bed. With all due respect...let it go...you won't win this battle because there is nothing to win!! Rather than wasting so much time screaming about where the President was born...you should focus more on who you will vote for in 2012. If you want change...you will have your opportunity very soon!!

In addition, I said some pretty harsh things about a certain cross-section of the Alabama fanbase. To be honest...this is the part of my blog that I expected to create the largest amount of drama...yet only one person commented on my "meanness" and that was an Auburn grad!! Truth is...upon further review...I was a little too harsh and insulting. I have some wonderful friends that are Alabama alumni/fans/ etc. and I love them all dearly. That portion of the blog was geared towards a very small group of people and I think most people know that.

As I think that I have explained myself thoroughly...before I leave...I'd like to address a few more things that were said. First of all...NO ONE has the right to question mine or anyone else's patriotism simply because we choose a different line of thinking. In addition...as it was so eloquently stated yesterday...NO ONE has the right to beat their chest and claim this country as OURS when we have and will always be a "melting pot" of both ideas and ethnicities. For the record...I'm a taxpayer, law abiding, citizen of this country...and by God that makes me NO BETTER than anyone else who was born here or who has immigrated here!!My paternal grandfather died in World War II...the other received the Purple Heart. I happen to think that both of these American heroes would be proud of what I try to represent everyday in my daily life. You see...they weren't just fighting for the US or our citizenry...they were dying and being maimed for an "ideal"...that no person or group of people had the right or would ever have the right to indiscriminantly impose their ideals on the masses under threat of violence or death!! Frighteningly...there are many people RIGHT HERE in the US who maintain this philosophy. If it is different...make it go away...kill it or extradite it. If it doesn't agree with me...it isn't worthy and "dangerous." If I talk loud enough...then no one can hear the other people talking. This philosophy only works in 3rd World countries and Sandboxes...too bad so many people fail to realize that!!

I'm a Patriot who chooses to believe that we have a responsibility to each other as "human beings." I'm not as "liberal as they come" as some have suggested but I also don't cowher in the corner upon being coronated with that title. I recognize that entitlements are out of control, that our government spends too much money and that there are people in this country who are "lazy" and don't want to work. That being said...I also believe that far more Federal money is being sucked down a "black hole" that has ZERO to do with immigration, entitlements, or overall lazy people. I choose to look at the "big picture" not focus on the small irritations that quite frankly are impervious to change. There will always be people that choose to take advantage...there will always be "pork" in government spending...and we all know people who wouldn't work if their life depended on it. That being said...the following narrative is the best way I can describe my political philosophy:  When I walk down the street of a metropolitan area...and a homeless man walks up and asks for money...I don't question if he is going to buy beer or drugs, or is he really homeless...I hand him the money and tell him "Good Luck." Could I have used that $5 or $10...maybe?? Would I have used it on something "beneficial" or "productive"...doubtful?? Will he use it on food or alcohol...who cares?? I did something that was from the heart. Somewhere...through all the cynicism, anger, hatred and overall political venom...we as a country and a society have lost site of what "unconditional love" really is. I can't save every person or every animal...but I do what I can...when I can.

So the bottom line is this....if all of these things make me a "bleeding heart", "anti-American" or any other label you choose to slap on my lapel...I'll gladly wear that Scarlett Letter "L" any day of the week. I would NEVER intentionally offend or hurt anyone's feelings...regardless of how much I disagree with them. A wise man once told me that Christ asks us to "treat people better than they deserve to be treated"...and this is something that I have and will always try to live by. Like my blog, like me...hate it or hate me...it isn't important. At the end of the day...I have to smile and know that slowly but surely...these walls of division and isolationism...will one day crumble. How do you get to Carnegie Hall?? PRACTICE...PRACTICE...PRACTICE!!

Until next time friends...

What the Hell is Wrong with these People??

As Erin and I continue to count down the days until we welcome that little bundle of joy, Ella Giles Burden; I find myself growing more irrritated and at times "intolerant" of those around me. Based on comments received from different friends and family...I think the general consensus is that I just "lay it all on the line" when I write this blog. In other words...this is an "uncensored" and "unrevised" look inside my deepest thoughts. Truth is...I'm still holding back. While some of the views that I have expressed could certainly be deemed as offensive to some readers...it doesn't come close to what I have really wanted to say. Therefore...I have decided to change that practice...at least for today. Today...I won't hold back...I won't be "civil" or "diplomatic"...today...I let James be James. Again...I apologize if this offends someone. It's nothing personal...just who I am....

I read this morning that the Governor of Arizona has vetoed a bill that would force anyone seeking the office of President to "prove" their natural citizenship prior to having their names placed on the ballot. First of all...my hat is off to Governor Brewer. While her stance on the Arizona immigration bill was nauseating and ridiculous...I admire ANY conservative willing to stand up against an issue that has gotten sorely out of hand. The so-called "Birther Movement" centers around one thing...RACISM!! Countless news agencies have tirelessly researched and investigated this idiocy and have found...NOTHING!! Barack Obama could present time-stamped video of his birth with people in the background screaming "this baby is being born in Hawaii" and there would still be MORONS and IDIOTS that would say he was born in Kenya, or Indonesia or maybe somewhere in the Middle East...as we all know he is an "anti-American, closet terrorist"!! If you are going to have the balls to accuse our President of lying and being born in a foreign country...at least be honest enough with yourself to say that it's because he's half BLACK!! I'm sorry...but if Barack Obama was named John Smith...and had a blonde wife and blue eyed children...NONE OF THESE THINGS WOULD BE ISSUES!! How do I know this? Because white people say things to other white people that they wouldn't want minorities to know. I can't tell you how many times some backwoods, jackass has walked up to me and made some sort of racist joke, or racist themed crack about the President. I mean seriously people...George Bush made it through 8 years as President of the United States after getting us in a massive war that we didn't belong in; completely butchering his part of the Hurricane Katrina responsiblity; essentially taking away all civil rights by way of the "Patriot Act", cutting environmental regulations lower than any President in American history, making sure that the RICHEST people in the US paid the LOWEST rate of taxes, repeatedly butchered the English language and presided over one of the worst Economic collapses in our history!! However...no one was chasing him with pitchforks and torches down Pennsylvania Avenue. I couldn't stand Bush...but I didn't think he blew the levees in New Orleans or orchestrated the 911 attacks. Why?? because though I strongly disagreed with his policies and most of his decision making...I knew in his heart...he was still a human being!! He was a man...who though I may not agree with his direction...I truly believe thought what he was doing was the  right thing...regardless how misguided it might seem!! Plus...I'm not a complete lunatic...who believes that some sort of governmental conspiracy theory lies around every corner. For the record...to all those people who think any day now the Federal government is going to "come after us"...YOU ARE MENTALLY RETARDED AND IT IS FRIGHTENING THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CAR OR WORSE YET OWN A GUN!! Why would the Federal Government attack the group of people that keeps its doors open?? If we are all dead or engaged in some sort of socio-economic civil war...these "fat cats" don't get paid and therefore can't buy yachts, mansions and miniature giraffes (sorry...just love that coomercial)!! People hate Obama for what?? Suggesting that everyone deserves Health Care...that son of a bitch!! Strengthening the EPA and recognizing that pollution and "dirty" fuels are destroying our country and our world...how dare he!! Finally after all these years...removing a system that would prevent an openly Gay man or woman from DYING for their country...get a rope!! Maybe they hate him because for the first time in 8 years...people in Europe and the rest of the world actually LIKE AND RESPECT...our administration...that bastard!! You know it is bad when FRANCE joins a coalition with us!! Look...I'm not suggesting you like him or even vote for him...I'm just saying the louder you spew your ignorant, venomous poison...the harder some liberal kid is working in school...so that he can shove his "intellect" right down your throat!!

Another point of contention for me is Gun Control in this country. I have read numerous articles and have this information first hand from people involved in the industry...that Gin Sales have actually INCREASED while Obama has been in office. Why...because they want to "stockpile" their weaponry before President "Socialist" takes away their gun rights. Let me say this loud and clear "NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR TOOLS OF DEATH!!" Stop getting your Wal Mart panties in a wad...pop open another ice cold Natural Light and fire a few pop shots off in the Trailerhood...you will be OK!! No politician is going to suggest a BAN on handguns, shotguns, rifles etc. It would create such a civil uprising that all hell would break loose. So stop reading the latest Militia Newsletter and listening to the "Hitler Youth" Greatest Hits...you can continue to kill and maim all the woodland creatures and unsuspecting victims that your heart desires. Just because the Federal Government doesn't think Boo Radley should have an automatic assault rifle...it DOESN'T mean he can't have a .50 caliber handgun!! See...even the evil Federal government believes that inbred dumbasses need hobbies and have the right to accidentally shoot each other in the face!! You just can't do it at 30 rounds per second!! I think "Bubba and em" will make it...

Finally...on a personal note...I have discovered in the past year...that no matter what my beloved alma mater does it will never receive the respect nor the acknowledgement it deserves. In fact...we as Auburn alumni...don't desire notoriety or being placed on a pedestal of "tradition" like OTHER schools in the state...we just ask that you give us the benefit of common courtesy. Our Coach can't even be at a NASCAR race without being BOOED OFF THE STAGE!! Now this actually gives me a quiet sense of joy since most detractors like to refer ro Auburn as "a redneck cow college". I think from a legal perspective...the defense can rest...as the number of Alabama fans obviously dwarfed the numbers of Auburn fans at the Talladega Superspeedway...thus resulting in the stream of boo's and "Roll Tide's." Nothing says class like a Winston hanging out of your mouth, an ice cold Budweiser in your hand, your sister's breasts in your hand and 13 National Championship's on your t-shirt!! It's too bad that Auburn can only when when we are cheating and that Alabama fans can only sound ignorant when they are breathing!! It isn't your school that I hate...or the tradition...or your coach...it's this overwhelming sense of entitlement and expectation that never seems to fade away no matter how generically "average" or underachieving your program is. I think most of the hatred and venom this year is rooted in one day in November. I'm sure most of you remember it...it's the day the number one team in the country came back from 24 points down to bitch-slap your team, coach and most of all...FANBASE...in your stadium...on national TV. Believe me...that taste will stay in your mouth for a while...but at least it can cleanse a little bit of the left over "SKOAL!!" Just remember one thing...and I don't say this to all Bama fans...just the ones that have inspired me to buy a turbin if Alabama ever played Al Qaeda...last year the Auburn Tigers were undefeated and National Champions!! We beat everyone on our schedule...including you guys. You were touted to be the most unstoppable team in the country...with a Heisman Trophy winner returning...and guess what...you choked it away. You lost 4 games...not even close to greatness...hell...not even close to mediocrity!! Who knows what the future holds but that moment...on that night...in January...all of your ignorance, stupidity and redneckery combined...can never take away!! You can kill our trees...you can make fun of our players...and you can HOPE for all the conspiracy theorist results in the world...but at the end of the day...our programn is moving upward and onward and that scares the living hell out of you. If we don't win a game this year...we will still be the AUBURN FAMILY...and you will still be the MULLET NATION!! I'll wake up every morning and stare at my degree on the wall...the one that says "Auburn University"...and my pride will NEVER lessen. At the end of the day...what are you without an undefeated season, a bowl game or a National Championship?? Ask yourself that...

Until next time friends....

Back Again...Hopefully For Good!!

Once again...I have been overwhelmed by the vast number of people that have expressed an interest in my blogs. Obviously...I am exposed for all to see with regard to one of my many faults...consistency!! Like so many things in my life...it is very difficult for me to focus on writing (though it is something that I love implicitly) while I am dealing with ANY form of emotional upheaval. So today...rather than go on a specific tangent...I will hit some bullet points. These are things that have been weighing heavily on my mind or have effected me personally in some way. Some may be boring...so please...bare with me. More than anything...thank you from the bottom of my heart for your concern, interest and most of all...negative or positive...your comments!!

Labor and Delivery Closing at BWMH: As many of you already know...a few weeks ago Bryan Whitfeild Memorial Hospital announced that it would be closing its Labor and Deliver Department. My wife is an L&D nuse there and has been for the last 5 years. Sadly, as it stands, she and 10 of her co-workers will be unemployed as of May 31. There is still hope that the hospital may be able to save the department with the assistance of the City Council but we are cautiously optimistic. On a personal note, this has been tremendously difficult for Erin and myself. With the birth of Ella Giles looming less than 3 weeks away...that loss of income is a frightening proposition. In addition...Erin's ego took quite a shot as "loss of employment" is something that until now...she had never been forced to deal with. We have made our peace with this...as we obviously have no other choice...however this announcement has a far deeper meaning in the grand scheme of things. We now live in a world, society, community, etc. where the "bottom line" has become so important...that human life has to take a backseat. You see delivering babies isn't "profitable." Statistically, this is the case across the United States...NO L&D wards make money. I understand that a Hospital must maintain a stream of revenue to maintain the integrity of day-to-day operations...but are people really willing to trade a safe haven for expectant mothers...for a profit?? People like to blame this on "indigent care" and the increased occurrence of "entitlement recipients." I have no doubt that this phenomenon plays a part...but is this really the most appropriate answer?? Sorry...too many poor people are having babies...so we can't deliver ANYONE. The Right Wing will tell you that this is due to the collapse of Capitalism and the fact that too many people want something for nothing. I'm here to tell you that if you look deep enough...greed plays a part. It should be said that NO administrative personnel have been lost during this so-called "uncontrolled bleed." Like so many "corporations" that fail...the "little people" become  expendable while the "big fish" keep their jobs. I have to wonder how these people can sleep at night...but like so many prople in this country...I guess they think "who cares" it doesn't effect me!!
I am honored and humbled by the doctors, hospital staff, city officials and citizenry that have provided a loud and clear outcry of disdain and disgust over this decision. I hope and pray that it can be resolved and that not only jobs will be saved...but that hundreds of children will be delivered in a comfortable hospital room rather than a dirty emergency room...or worse yet...the backseat of a car!! By the way... can you guess what type of system would prevent this all together...I'll give you a hint...ask someone British!!

My wife: This is a little self indulgent but I just have to say that each and everyday...I am more impressed and proud of the woman that I am married to. In spite of losing her job...being 9 months pregnant...having little or no sleep everynight...plus all the little "health issues" that come from carrying a child...her resiliency and strength astounds me on EVERY level. Not only does she go to work everyday...miserable...knowing that she soon will be unemployed...she continues to be a team player...covering shifts as L&D nurses begin to jump off their own version of the TITANIC. Erin has a strength and courage that I do not nor have I ever posessed. She is able to keep going and fight through things...never once revealing any emotional weakness. I am in awe of her and I don't deserve someone like her...to be perfectly honest. She isn't perfect..and God knows she drives me nuts sometimes...but there is NO ONE on this Earth who could possibly be more equipped for motherhood than she is. Ella Giles has a "rock" for a mother...I just hope her Dad can keep up!! I love you Erin and no matter what...I couldn't be prouder of where you've been...what you've accomplished and more importantly...where you are going. My love for you is endless...and I look forward to our new adventure!!

Weight-Loss: So once again...I feel like a complete failure in the wonderful world of "James VS. Food 2011." The Bariatric Weight Loss was working very well...unfortunately it was VERY expensive. After a weight loss of approximately 25-30 pounds...I decided to change directions. As usual...the moment I strayed...not only did I fall off the wagon...it ran me over with both wheels. While I have not gained back all of the weight...I have gained and am very ashamed of myself. This has been an ongoing struggle for me and my frequent failure continues to pummel my self-esteem. I want it so bad...yet my will is CRAP!! My emotions are my worst enemy and I am just about at my wits end. Do I go back to Weight Watchers? Do I cut Carbs again...or do I just say "to hell with this" and go the surgical route. I am so tired of failure and so tired of looking at this person that I don't like. I need support...I need prayer...I need inner strength!! For all of you who struggle with a similar demon...just know you are not alone. The next few weeks are going to be critical...just keep me in your thoughts and prayers!!

Ella Giles: I never thought that it was humanly possible for me to be this excited over a BABY!! Much less a baby that hasn't arrived yet. Everyday...it becomes more real what Erin and I will be sharing in the coming weeks. I have feared this moment for 32 years...and now I find myself wondering why I didn't make this happen sooner!! Everyday she changes me for the better...and everyday I thank God for giving me the chance to be a father. I'm nervous...but it isn't a "I'm scared" nervousness. It's almost like going on a first date..or that first kiss...the anticipation is unreal...and I know that the outcome will be epic!! I just hope she looks like her MOTHER...not sure how the "big man" would transfer to a woman?? Either way...she will be short, furry and funny!! We love you...our beautiful Ella Giles...we are waiting for you whenever you are ready to come see us!!

Now for a few quick political comments (you knew that I couldn't resist!!):

Government Shutdown: Did we really not learn our lesson from 1995?? Granted...the government received a "stay of execution" but it shouldn't have come to that. Partisanship is the WORST it has ever been. Sadly...I think this polarization will only elevate in its lack of civility. We are at war...if you don't believe that...you haven't been watching the news!! It isn't fought with guns, bombs, or embargos...but with innuendo, sharp tongues and laptops!! The Republicans want nothing more but to make Barack Obama look like "Osama Bin Laden"...and the Democrats are flailing away trying to prove that they aren't "socialists." Is this what we have come to? I don't believe the average American citizen wants to see this continued decay of political civility. The problem is that a handful of "idiots" and I mean that with NO due respect...would like to see this country plunged into some sort of economical "civil war." Which brings me to my next point...

The Tea Party: The fact that this merry bunch of social retards are now influencing policy is one of the biggest disgraces and farces to hit the airwaves since Charlie Sheen started giving interviews. I have seen these people and if they represent the "majority" of the American people then the vast majority of Americans have stopped reading books, don't value cleanliness or style and have apparently settled in uninhabited areas of the Ozark Mountains (see "Winter's Bone"). Could someone please end the 15 minutes of fame that this "human debris" has maintained. I'm ready to have discussions with people that don't believe the world is flat!! These are the same people that would have burned books in Nazi Germany and attempted to execute Galileo for being a heretic!! There is no place in this country for that sort of closed-minded ignorance. I'm ready to move forward...and the only way to do that is to eradicate devisiveness. We can disagree...social discourse is great. But let me be the first to say...if your idea of a perfect America involves a gun in every holster, a gay in every CLOSET, an abortion in every BACK ALLEY and a Mexican in every JAIL...may I be the first to offer you an all expense paid vacation to the cave you crawled out of!! I'm tired of listening to these idiots scream at the top of their lungs while I'm expected to be respectful, civil and patient. The bottom line is...I REFUSE to let MY country be tainted and it's history be re-written...by a bunch of angry yahoo's who wouldn't understand empathy or humility if it turned into a tornado and destroyed their Trailerhood!! WAKE UP AMERICA...our priorities are skewed and we are picking the wrong battles!!

I think I've done enough damage...I'll save the rest of this for tomorrow perhaps. I promise..no more months in between. And if this offended you...I'm sorry. I have a child on the way...and guess what...It's NOT JUST ABOUT ME ANYMORE!! Until next time friends...

Sexuality: It's not about "Good vs. Evil"

Let me start off by saying how nice it makes me feel to have people ask me why I haven't written in a while. While blogging has been very therapeutic and is a uniquely personal experience for me...I had hoped that something I wrote would affect people either by making them laugh, cry or just making them think about things from another perspective. I welcome disagreement...I'm pretty used to it!! Being somewhat "liberal" in the South is not exactly an easy path to take but I am who I am and I make no apologies for my beliefs or opinions. I have no doubt that the following blog will inevitably anger some and hopefully unify others!!

I haven't written in quite some time. Some of that has been due to the constraints of work while some of it...quite honestly...has been due to the fact that I have been battling depression the last several weeks. I am slowly pulling myself out of it but for any of you that have experienced it's clutches...it can be a hellish decent!! That being said...there are some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind the last week or so. Without further ado...here is perhaps my most "controversial" blog to date...

There are certain issues in this world that I have an "opinion" about...let's be honest...I have an opinion on pretty much EVERYTHING!! On the other hand...there are issues that I am incredibly "passionate" about...issues that I feel a responsibility to speak out about...more importantly...voiceless individuals who I feel need to be spoken FOR.

I have been very fortunate in this life to have a phenomenal group of friends. They represent all walks of life, socio-economic backgrounds, races and ethnicities. In addition...they represent alternate sexualities. Some of the most remarkable people that I have been fortunate enough to meet and love in my 32 years have been gay and/or lesbians. I have shared an apartment with 2 gay men...one of which...though we don't see each other or speak as often as I like...will always be like a brother to me. I have worked for and with homosexuals...and have been privy to a better understanding of their daily struggles and the unmistakeable courage it took for them to publicly admit "who they are." I have seen the mistreatment and the misunderstanding first hand...I've seen up close and personal the bias that still exists and the overalll view by many that their sexuality is not just "unnatural" but "perverse."I have seen the indescribable  pain that comes when a family member shuns them...and the obvious joy and  relief that comes from someone else's acceptance. But none of what I have seen or the empathy that I feel can compare to what these same people must endure every minute of every day.

First of all...let me state my beliefs...about homosexuality... as clearly as I can. Notice I said "my beliefs"...my intention is not to convert or to sway favor....simply to outline what I feel.

 Homosexuality is NOT a "choice." Gay people don't just wake up out of the blue and decide...hmmm...I think today I'm going to start living every aspect of my sexual and intimate life in seclusion and solitude!! How exciting it must be to the millions of homosexuals everywhere...to know that the moment they "come out"...every aspect of their sex life could quite possibly be microscopically dissected and questioned until the day they die!! Of course...if they decide to keep their feelings private...they can be assured that upon their death...they can look back and find solace in the fact that their entire existence has been essentially a massive facade...in an attempt to emerse themselves into so-called "normal", "straight" society!! Doesn't that sound like a great "choice" to make?? I challenge any and all straight people...including myself...to show me when your sexuality was a "choice." I never consciously made a decision between men and women. At a very early age, chemical changes occurred inside me that made the female form suddenly take on an entirely different perspective!! I would wager that most of you...who are honest with yourselves would agree.

On the other hand...there are those who say if it isn't a "choice" to have the urges...it is a "choice" to act on them. Of course...this is true. We all have choices in this life...and who we choose to have sex with, spend time with, love, etc. are some of the most important ones we will make. Therefore...based on that logic...there is a belief that homosexuals should learn to suppress every chemical, physical and emotional desire for the rest of their lives?? If you think this isn't like throwing gasoline on a fire take a moment and ponder what happens to "straight" men in prison. If that isn't enough evidence of what happens when natural sexual urges are surpressed...take a look at the history of the Catholic Church. Do you really think that there isn't a direct corrolation between celibacy and Priest/Child Molestation?? I know I just offended a lot of Catholics...but so what...that is an archaic and antiquated line of thinking that has weakened the infrastructure of not just a powerful religious body but a political machine. The Catholic Church isn't nor will it ever represent what it has in the past. And why...because of an orchestrated tactic of repression that has resulted in the destruction of thousands of young children and their families. We are sexual beings and always will be...PEOPLE WILL FIND A WAY TO ACHIEVE RELEASE!! You can't pray it out...you can't remove it therapeutically...carnal urges exist because they are embedded in our DNA. That being said...there are lines that must be drawn and by no means should we accept criminal sexual acts as normal or understandable. My point is...when you suppress basic sexual and emotional need...you might be shocked by the eventual outcome. Human Nature can be ugly and dark...we must recognize and accept our base desires.

From a religious perspective...my God doesn't HATE anybody. My God will not prevent ANYONE from entering the Kingdom of Heaven simply because of their sexuality. My God looks at sin as sin...and quite frankly...noone has proven to me thus far that Homosexuality Is a sin!! How could it be a sin to love another?? How could it be a sin to want to spend the rest of your life with a partner...when that relationship is rooted in love?? Why would God take away a basic human right...happiness...simply because those two people share the same chromosomes?

 The reality is this...everyday we as humans place our own moral doctrines and belief systems into the word of God and claim that it is His. Homosexuality is mentioned briefly in the bible and for the record is not discussed by Jesus but if memory serves...it was Mark. The bible also speaks adamantly against masturbation...yet that doesn't seem to be a topic of discussion along the political front?? Since when did flesh and blood mortals become the conduit of divinity and spiritual judgement?? When did religion and God become a weapon of prejudice rather than the healing medicine of hope and peace?? How have we become so pious and egocentric...that rights and freedoms of others must only extend as far as what we like or dislike?? When did equality and progressive thought take a backseat to moral legislation and closed-minded ignorance? I can assure you of this...none of the hate and venomous mistreatment of homosexuals is, was or will ever be ORDAINED BY MY GOD!! If you are using God as your political grandstand...to disrupt the lives of people who just want to love and be loved...SHAME ON YOU!!

As Erin and I prepare to welcome Ella Giles into this world...we have discussed what our reaction would be if she came to us and announced she was a lesbian. I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that my only concern would be for her well being. My fear and sadness would come from knowing that she will be thrust into a world where ignorance often triumphs over progression. I would hope that she could find someone to love and that they would love her...unconditionally... and with all their heart and soul. She and whomever she chose to spend her life with would ALWAYS be welcome in our home and anyone who had a problem with that...wouldn't receive the same hospitality!! I haven't met her yet...but she is so easy to love... and nothing...certainly not a chemical reaction unseen by the naked eye...will EVER change that!!

To any of my homosexual friends, family and loved ones who might read this...I say you are and will always remain in my prayers. I pray that you find peace, joy and most importantly love. I pray that God will open the eyes of those who choose to judge you and despise you. I don't pray for their approval...for that is not my place...only for their unconditional acceptance. Love means never having to say you are sorry...but more importantly...it should mean never having to pretend to be someone that you aren't capable of being. We live in a world full of so much negativity, hate and overall sadness. Why is it that  we get so transfixed on adjusting our eyes to the dark...that we forget it would take less time to flip the switch and illuminate our hearts and minds with... the light.

I realize that much of this is idealistic and I am well aware of how many people...several of which I love very much...will view this blog. I will be looked upon as "lost"...someone who doesn't have a strong enough relationship with God to recognize the gravity of sinful behavior. My words will be the mere ramblings of a liberal...someone who would like to see  an "anything goes" almost libertarian society. My words will be construed as being an "apologist" for deviants...someone who just doesn't understand that there is such a thing as "right vs. wrong." I'm not going to waste anytime disputing or refuting any of the thoughts and claims that will be made in the coming days. I really don't care. What I do care about is a world where homosexual teenagers stop attempting and achieving suicide, where counselors and "safe houses" are replaced with parents and friends, where "don't ask, don't tell" is replaced with "Thank you for your commitment and service to this country because you are a hero" and where all of us...regardless of theological differences...can recognize that our greatest asset and our future will always rest in our unconditional love and support for one another!!

Until next time my friends....

A Sad Day For The Auburn Family...

I started receiving text messages just before 7:00 p.m. last night. I had not seen the latest news and was out of pocket. However...it didn't take long for me to read a few articles and feel a sick, angry and overall disgusted feeling in the pit of my stomach.

For more than 100 years...two sprawling Oak Trees have stood as a living embodiment of Auburn and it's "Family." Following each Auburn victory, thousands of Auburn men and women flock to Toomer's Corner to bathe the mighty stalwarts in white toilet paper. For many this tradition may seem silly and sophomoric...but to we Auburn people it represents something far bigger.

You see...for every roll of toilet paper that swings over those massive, creaking branches...there is the smile on the face of a child...just learning the traditions that he/she have heard their mother and father talk about so gleefully. For every one of those children...that excitedly climbs to the middle of one of those trees...there is a mother and father who remember how long ago it has been since they did the same. For every mother/father...who sheds a single tear as they watch their young ones scurrying hastily up the trunk of our beloved trees...there stands a Grandparent. An elderly man/woman who remembers the first time they stood before these mighty trees...yelled WAR EAGLE and themselves hurled a roll of white celebration as high as they possibly could. As the confetti of torn paper falls down around them...they realize that their lives...the life of the "Auburn Family"...has come full circle. Three generations standing on hallowed ground...time has taken and given...but one thing remains... an unchanging constant...THOSE MIGHT TREES.

They stand as a symbol of Auburn's mighty resolve and the faith and love of it's people. On quiet days...as the wind softly blows across our aging warriors...you can almost hear the whispers of history. The voices of legendary Auburn men like Sug Jordan, Cliff Hare and David Housel...seem to resonate from the trees mighty base. The victorious yells of Pat Sullivan, Bo Jackson, Brent Fullwood and Terry Beasley seem to echo off of Samford Hall and travel along the low-hanging branches. The sounds of the Auburn Fight Song, the Alma Mater and "Eye of the Tiger"...seem to emerge from their powerful, deeply planted,  roots. You see that is why these trees are so important and that is what the Auburn family is about...ROOTS!!

These "roots" are stronger than the bitterness of a rivalry, they are more entrenched than the stats of "wins and losses", and they run much deeper than the games played on a field. These "roots" start with Auburn University and continue through the myriad of lives that are touched by it's time-honored creed on a daily basis. We believe that this is a practical world...we believe in education...we believe in honesty and truthfulness...we believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid...we believe in obedience to law...we believe in the human touch...we believe in our country...all of these things are what our "roots" are predicated on. At the end of the day...you can kill our "trees"...you can attempt to destroy our "symbols"...you can scoff at our "family"...you may win the battle but you will NEVER win the war!! You see these "roots" have been planted and cultivated in every beating heart of the Auburn men and women across the world. As long as our hearts beat...as long as we have the breath to bellow "WAR EAGLE"...as long as their are men, women and children who proudly adorn themselves with Orange and Blue...while the "trees" may wither and die...the "roots" only get stronger!! We feed off of each other...our sustenance is the knowledge that what we have is special and that there is NOTHING like it anywhere. And at the end of the day... when all the venom is spewed...all the malice is visible in living color and all the hatred seems to drip from every pore of our detractors...WE BELIEVE IN AUBURN AND LOVE IT!!

The Auburn Spirit...like energy can't be created or destroyed. It is a living embodiment of who and what we are. So today...pray that the trees can be saved...prepare to mourn their loss if they can't...but rejoice in the fact that their void is merely a physical manifestation of ignorance and depravity. Our "roots" remain strong and healthy...that my friends will NEVER change!!

WAR EAGLE...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN...

AIRING OF GRIEVANCES...

Once again...I have let a busy work week and other preoccupations...prevent me from doing something that I truly enjoy. I must admit that this morning...I am incredibly streesed out!! Between the presentation that I have to deliver in less than 2 hours...my diet and the daily barrage of worries that enter my mind...I doubt this will be very profound. That being said...I am taking inspiration from one of my favorite shows "Seinfeld"...and have decided to "air a few grievances." Yes...today is a "FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US." So without  further ado...here is a list of things that are driving me nuts. Perhaps you agree with some or all of them or perhaps this will be the last time you ever read my blog!! Needless to say...here we go (in no particular order)....

1) Justin Bieber- I still remember a day when being an entertainer required more than a "frat boy mop top" and the ability to dance. This kid has taken the world by storm...and I just don't get it. Since when was the definition of "sexy" for young girls predicated on just how skinny and effeminite a guy is? If this kid was any "gayer"...he would be on a billboard next top Harvey Milk in the Castro District of San Francisco!! The only difference is that Harvey Milk actually accomplished great things for gay rights. I actually think this closeted little elf is setting gay rights back 30 years!! Hey Justin...you want to earn my resepct...come out of the closet, cut your hair, and sing a song that doesn't require a synthesizer!!

2) Justin Bieber Fans- I think I said enough about Bieber in the previous paragraph...but his fand are an entirely differnt ballgame. I have read that the Grammy winner for Best New Artist...Esperanza Spalding...has received death threats from the Bieber's "Lollipop Guild" because he didn't win? I'm sorry but she is a brilliant jazz cellist...who has an amazing voice and writes her own songs. Bieber is an underdeveloped girl...who essentially is the second coming of New Kids on the Block. Playing the cello as opposed to the "skin flute"...are not the same thing!! If I see one more pre-teen girl crying over Justin Bieber...I might have to attack someone with a hammer!! If your kid is crying over an entertainer....just go ahead and empty out that College Fund and get them to a therapist. Believe me...they will need it!! Grow up kids...if you are that obsessed with spending the rest of your life with a gay man...just ask Liza Minneli how that worked out!!

3) Sarah Palin- There is not enough time in the day nor words in the english language to express just how much I detest this right wing, lunatic. She has made a career off of being an idiot. Congratulations Sarah...you hijacked John McCain's Presidential campaign and destroyed any chance that he will ever have of running again...now you have parlayed that into your on Presidential aspirations. Call me crazy...but I can't bear the thought of seeing the White House decorated with Moose heads and eskimo tears!! Could someone in the republican party please tell this half witted, obnoxious, harpy that her 15 minutes expired 2 years ago!! If she is the future of the Republican party...then Obama can get comfortable..cause you've got 4 more years of leadership to deal with. If she ever got elected President...it would be proof positive that the US no longer cares about it's world reputation. When is the next flight to Quebec?

3) Lady Gaga- She is so incredibly talented...I must admit that I like some of her work. That being said...is it me or does she look like the spawn of Madonna and Marilyn Manson. I am so sick of "shock music" and freak shows being labeled as "art." I'm sorry folks...not just ANYTHING is "art." You can't take off all your clothes...cover yourself in raw meat and call yourself an artist. Wear a normal outfit...back off the eye make-up...play your piano and sing. Otherwise...shut the hell up you skank!!

4) People who talk to you in bathrooms- When I am in the bathroom...conversation is not important. This is a very private, solemn moment for me. If I am at the urinal...or in a stall...I don't care how your day is going nor do I want to share my innermost thoughts. We can talk after or before...not during. I find it gross and remarkably annoying. If you are one of these people...cease and desist immediately. I'm not that bored!!

5) Any television program involving multiple births or people with large numbers of children- You don't have a family...you have a litter!! I am not impressed by people who have large numbers of children at one time...and I am less impressed with people who continue to irresponsibly have child after child. Especially when I am painfully aware that tax payers money and donations are fueling your "mini village." It is so funny to me that the  people who call this garbage "a blessing from God"...are the same people who think Welfare, SSI, WIC and other government agancies are bogus!! I hate to break it to you...but these are glaring examples of how we validate stupidity through government assistance. How about a show about people that have one or two kids, practice responsible birth control and spend their lives creating a wonderful, normal family!! That is something that I can relate to..not "The Case of the Exploding Uterus." It's 2011, not 1811...it is no longer necessary to have children in order to maintain the "Plantation." Take a break...read a book...and close the borders to that birth canal!!

6) Immigration Nuts- I don't believe that we should just open the doors to all "comers." I understand that we have to have laws and regulations...immigrants need to enter this country "the right way." That being said...have you ever seen a lazy immigrant? I mean really...have you ever seen a Hispanic guy on a road crew just hanging out, sitting under a tree and barking orders? Of course not...they are some of the hardest working people that I have ever encountered. Many of these people are working back-braking jobs for less money...only to send most of it back to their families elsewhere. Yeah...they are truly destroying the framework of our country!! Correct me if I'm wrong...but who here is not an immigrant? Oh that's right...there are natives here...but you don't see them often since we stole their land and stuck them on reservations. But that's OK...we did give them beads and smallpox as payment in full!! The bottom line is...if you don't like immigrants...find a new country. Actually...you can stay here...just hang out at Bingo Parlors or Casinos...there owners can relate to your plight!!

7) The Drug War- I'm going to go ahead and say...we lost!!Drug trafficking continues to increase day-by-day and in turn thousands of people are dying everyday...see Juarez, Mexico. When are we going to realize that the smartest thing we could do right now...is LEGALIZE MARIJUANA and tax the HELL OUT OF IT!! When was the last time you read about someone killing an entire family in a horrific car wreck because they were...HIGH?? The answer is NEVER. They wouldn't be driving fast enough to do any real damage and once they picked up their Funions and Fun Dip...they would head back to their cave to finish watching old reruns of Scooby Doo. I'm not saying everyone she be a pothead...I haven't smoked in 8 years...all I'm saying is that smoking a joint at home is no different than having a few beers. Lighten up people...it's just weed!!

8) Beauty Pageants (of any kind...)- I'm sorry but it still astounds me that in 2011...many women think that validation comes from how they look in an Evening Gown and a Bathing Suit. How archaic and backward is it that parents still push their kids into these mind-numbing cattle calls. Something you will NEVER hear in life..."We should really hire Kimberly...you know she was "Miss Chili Dog Queen" 3 years running!!" There is nothing wrong for being beautiful...but it is wrong to win an award for it!! People have told me my whole life..."oh those aren't beauty pageants...they judge them on so much more." Really...well then...a competition based on how you carry yourself, intelligence, ability to answer unexpected questions and overall talent...that's called a "JOB INTERVIEW." Noone interviews for a job in high heels and a two-piece. Stop pushing your daughters to be self-absorbed, shallow, egocentric, morons...

9) Obama Haters- I'm not saying you have to agree with his politics but the level of venom and hatred that spews forth with regard to our President is unprecedented. Apparently, anyday now, Obama will pull off his well-formed mask and reveal horns, red eyes and a turbin!! If National Health Care reform is a lithmus test for evil and corruption...then we have some serious problems with priorities. You can't take a country in total economic shambles and piece it back together again overnight. I never thought Obama was going to be "christ-like"..it took time to get in this mess and it will take time to get us out. All I'm saying is...dislike the policy don't dislike the man!1 I thought and still think that George Bush had some of the worst policies in American History...but I didn't think he blew up the levys in New Orleans!! I wonder if Obama's name were "Barrett Oliver" and he looked a bit more...WHITE...if the same hatred would exist?? Ponder that for a moment (the answer: HELL NO)...

I think I have done enough damage. I must admit...I feel better!!

Until next time my friends...