I was hit with a massive disappointment today so I guess the only way to deal with it is to talk about it. For the last several weeks, I have been anxiously awaiting word about a job that I applied for within the same plant that I already work. It would have been a promotion and would have been accompanied by a hefty increase in pay. I was told today that they decided to go in a different direction...hiring someone from outside the plant. I appreciated the openness of the "powers that be" to let me be the first to know however it doesn't take away the sting and deflated ego that I am feeling. I personally think the young man that was hired will do a great job; he already has the correct background and he is very young. I don't begrudge him nor those that made the decision...I guess I just have an old fashioned case of "hurt feelings."
I find myself dtruggling everyday with the idea that I am a "failure." Not in the traditional sense...but with regard to the expectations that I have placed on myself. I look at my wife working 12-16 hour days...as a pregnant woman...and it absolutely breaks my heart. I desperately want to look at her...one day...and tell her that she doesn't have to work!! I realize that I am only 32...however I certainly saw myself achieveing so much more at this stage in my life. I have tried to be a good husband...though I often fail. I have tried to be a good employee...though I often fail. I have tried to stay positive and focused...hoping that a better opportunity for advancement will come my way...and yes...failure once again.
I know this isn't the end of the world...I'm just uber-frustrated. I know that there is so much more that I could do and so many accomplishments waiting for me to tackle...yet I feel like something is holding me back. I suppose a Master's Degree would help...but the timing is horrible. With a baby on the way...my wife's job hanging in the balance...and an overall "awful" economy...I just don't feel comfortable taking that risk or the financial responsibility. It also doesn't help that we live in an area void of "opportunity." The rest of the country is hurting with massive job loss...but Demopolis...like many small towns...is the victim of "zero" growth!!
So I ponder...what will be my next move. Do I actively pursue jobs elsewhere...take a job...leave town...hope that we can sell our house in the meantime?? Do I stick it out...keep plugging away and work that much harder at the job that I have now?? Do I throw caution to the wind and go back to school?? Truth is...I have no idea. All I know is that right now...I have never been more terrified of my own mediocrity!!
I am not writing this blog so that people can give me a pep talk..or tell me everything will be OK and that I'm not a failure. The bottom line is...no one knows. This isn't a compliment "fishing trip"...believe me I'm not that self absorbed nor insecure. I guess I just recognize how cathartic this blog has been and I just needed to lay everything out in "words." Years ago, this is how I always dealt with emotional upheavel. Often it was with that archaic "pen and paper" that we seldom use anymore!! Writing and music have always been an escape for me...and since singing at the top of my lungs in the office will doubtfully halp any furture career plans...I'll stick with the blog!!
I know that so many of you have been where I am now and I guess that is another way that I am able to cope. This has been one of the most emotionally taxing years of my life. I lose my mother, Erin and I have some serious issues within our marriage, we discover that she is pregnant, she finds out they are closing labor and delivery...and now...no promotion!! I say these things not list how much worse my life has been than everyone else...but to simply illustrate its overriding difficulty. I'm not special...I'm not dealing with anything that anyone else hasn't dealt with. However...it is so easy in our human selfishness and frailty to get bogged down in the "Why Me?" mentality. This blog is to prevent that from happening!!
I'm sad...and a little depressed but I also know that no matter what...Erin and I are about to embark on one of the greatest adventures that two people could possibly be blessed with!! Every night I close my eyes...and she is on my mind. When I awake the next morning...she's still there. The things I used to care about are slowing melting away. I find myself wondering...will she like writing...will she excel in music...will she be an "academic"...will she love the arts...will she be athletic...or all of the above!! I hope she knows that WHATEVER avenue and dream she strives for...her mother and father will be right there to support it. I might have to sell my blood or take out a second mortgage on my house...but for Ella Giles...I will spend the rest of my life making sure that her path is free of all obstacles!!
She and my beautiful, supportive wife are what keep me going. I don't know what I would do without Erin and she didn't hesitate...when I let her know...to tell me that she loved me and was proud of me...either way. On a weekend that I missed my Mother intently...I am so blessed to have a wife that truly has completed me...and continues to make me a better man!! I ask for everyone's prayers as Erin and I prepare to welcome Ella Giles...in addition...pray that we will recognize God's will and the path that He has chosen for us all.
As always...thanks for listening. Until next time friends...
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Morning After...
After a lively day of debate yesterday on a variety of issues...I had several hours last night to sit and reflect on the days events. I debated with myself on whether to respond or just let "sleeping dogs lie." Not surprising to most of you....I chose to be over-analytical and talk a little bit about the contents of yesterday's blog, in addition to the "very emotional" reactions.
Everyone who knows me...even a little bit...is aware that I am very outspoken. I am the first one to admit that at times...I lack a censor button and am certainly not afraid to hurl myself into a "hornet's nest" for the sake of getting my point across. Obviously...this "hair trigger" mouth...often can create firestorms and clashes of emotion as they relate to very personal issues. Yesterday would be a perfect example of this phenomenon.
I would like to take a few moments to discuss the intent of my blog yesterday. I said from the very beginning that this was a "no holds barred", "not going to censor myself", rant. I warned everyone beforehand that some of the information could be deemed offensive. In addition...to be perfectly honest...this blog is for "me." I love that fact that people read it and comment...it gives me a sense of purpose to know that people look forward to reading what I have to say. That being said...it is an outlet for expression and emotional venting...which will always be my # 1 goal.
I do welcome discourse and differing opinions. I feel that in this world and certainly in our society...debate is the key to our future. That being said...I had NO IDEA that my opinions would spark such personal attacks and anger...all of which were completely inappropriate and unnecessary.
All of my blogs are rooted in irritation; often a strong irritation at certain ideas. Yesterday's blog was an attack on "ideas" and a "mindset"...not people. It was a public address of what "I" would label a growing "extremism" in this country. A "fringe" group of people who have decided that political disagreements and policy differences aren't enough for public discussion. Now...for many...the most easily accessible political weapon is a sharp tongue, personal attacks and gross exaggeration of the truth...if relying on any truth at all. I never attacked "conservatives" or "Republicans"...I attacked "right wing extremists"...as I have ALWAYS done in my blogs. I supported the idea that immigrants are not an "evil scourge" in this country...as I have always done. I also supported the idea of "reasonable" gun control...as I have always done. I even threw in a few shots at "redneck" Alabama fans as I have always done...AND WILL ALWAYS DO!!
Now for what I didn't say. I never suggested that we "open our borders" and let ANY and ALL manner of illegal immigrants "bum rush" our borders. I was attacking an "immigration legislation" which I think is unconstitutional and I truly believe will eventually be recognized as such. Racial Profiling and Illegal Immigration are and should be... completely isolated from one another. That was the point that I was trying to make. I do not nor will I ever believe that Civil Rights can be compromised for "the greater good." I also think that historical documentation (not revisionist history)...would point out that our forefathers would share these views. You can't cling to the flag, call yourself a patriot, love the 2nd Ammendment...then take a Sharpie to the rest of the Constitution that you think can be ommitted or that you deem unnecessary. "Inalienable rights" may be an abstract idea...but by now...we should all understand their implied meaning.
As to the Birther Movement...I make NO APOLOGIES for anything that I said about this phenomenon. What more can the President do to appease the bloodlust of this angry and sad group of people?? A copy of the record of birth has been submitted...the state of Hawaii has verified everything...and both local newspapers in Honolulu printed birth announcements on that day for a newborn son born to Barack Obama's parents. We found Sadaam Hussein in a spider hole...somewhere in the middle of Iraq. Don't you think the "powers that be" could track down information that would ultimately be one of the biggest stories in American politics?? Even Republicans (at least the ones that matter) have long sense put this issue to bed. With all due respect...let it go...you won't win this battle because there is nothing to win!! Rather than wasting so much time screaming about where the President was born...you should focus more on who you will vote for in 2012. If you want change...you will have your opportunity very soon!!
In addition, I said some pretty harsh things about a certain cross-section of the Alabama fanbase. To be honest...this is the part of my blog that I expected to create the largest amount of drama...yet only one person commented on my "meanness" and that was an Auburn grad!! Truth is...upon further review...I was a little too harsh and insulting. I have some wonderful friends that are Alabama alumni/fans/ etc. and I love them all dearly. That portion of the blog was geared towards a very small group of people and I think most people know that.
As I think that I have explained myself thoroughly...before I leave...I'd like to address a few more things that were said. First of all...NO ONE has the right to question mine or anyone else's patriotism simply because we choose a different line of thinking. In addition...as it was so eloquently stated yesterday...NO ONE has the right to beat their chest and claim this country as OURS when we have and will always be a "melting pot" of both ideas and ethnicities. For the record...I'm a taxpayer, law abiding, citizen of this country...and by God that makes me NO BETTER than anyone else who was born here or who has immigrated here!!My paternal grandfather died in World War II...the other received the Purple Heart. I happen to think that both of these American heroes would be proud of what I try to represent everyday in my daily life. You see...they weren't just fighting for the US or our citizenry...they were dying and being maimed for an "ideal"...that no person or group of people had the right or would ever have the right to indiscriminantly impose their ideals on the masses under threat of violence or death!! Frighteningly...there are many people RIGHT HERE in the US who maintain this philosophy. If it is different...make it go away...kill it or extradite it. If it doesn't agree with me...it isn't worthy and "dangerous." If I talk loud enough...then no one can hear the other people talking. This philosophy only works in 3rd World countries and Sandboxes...too bad so many people fail to realize that!!
I'm a Patriot who chooses to believe that we have a responsibility to each other as "human beings." I'm not as "liberal as they come" as some have suggested but I also don't cowher in the corner upon being coronated with that title. I recognize that entitlements are out of control, that our government spends too much money and that there are people in this country who are "lazy" and don't want to work. That being said...I also believe that far more Federal money is being sucked down a "black hole" that has ZERO to do with immigration, entitlements, or overall lazy people. I choose to look at the "big picture" not focus on the small irritations that quite frankly are impervious to change. There will always be people that choose to take advantage...there will always be "pork" in government spending...and we all know people who wouldn't work if their life depended on it. That being said...the following narrative is the best way I can describe my political philosophy: When I walk down the street of a metropolitan area...and a homeless man walks up and asks for money...I don't question if he is going to buy beer or drugs, or is he really homeless...I hand him the money and tell him "Good Luck." Could I have used that $5 or $10...maybe?? Would I have used it on something "beneficial" or "productive"...doubtful?? Will he use it on food or alcohol...who cares?? I did something that was from the heart. Somewhere...through all the cynicism, anger, hatred and overall political venom...we as a country and a society have lost site of what "unconditional love" really is. I can't save every person or every animal...but I do what I can...when I can.
So the bottom line is this....if all of these things make me a "bleeding heart", "anti-American" or any other label you choose to slap on my lapel...I'll gladly wear that Scarlett Letter "L" any day of the week. I would NEVER intentionally offend or hurt anyone's feelings...regardless of how much I disagree with them. A wise man once told me that Christ asks us to "treat people better than they deserve to be treated"...and this is something that I have and will always try to live by. Like my blog, like me...hate it or hate me...it isn't important. At the end of the day...I have to smile and know that slowly but surely...these walls of division and isolationism...will one day crumble. How do you get to Carnegie Hall?? PRACTICE...PRACTICE...PRACTICE!!
Until next time friends...
Everyone who knows me...even a little bit...is aware that I am very outspoken. I am the first one to admit that at times...I lack a censor button and am certainly not afraid to hurl myself into a "hornet's nest" for the sake of getting my point across. Obviously...this "hair trigger" mouth...often can create firestorms and clashes of emotion as they relate to very personal issues. Yesterday would be a perfect example of this phenomenon.
I would like to take a few moments to discuss the intent of my blog yesterday. I said from the very beginning that this was a "no holds barred", "not going to censor myself", rant. I warned everyone beforehand that some of the information could be deemed offensive. In addition...to be perfectly honest...this blog is for "me." I love that fact that people read it and comment...it gives me a sense of purpose to know that people look forward to reading what I have to say. That being said...it is an outlet for expression and emotional venting...which will always be my # 1 goal.
I do welcome discourse and differing opinions. I feel that in this world and certainly in our society...debate is the key to our future. That being said...I had NO IDEA that my opinions would spark such personal attacks and anger...all of which were completely inappropriate and unnecessary.
All of my blogs are rooted in irritation; often a strong irritation at certain ideas. Yesterday's blog was an attack on "ideas" and a "mindset"...not people. It was a public address of what "I" would label a growing "extremism" in this country. A "fringe" group of people who have decided that political disagreements and policy differences aren't enough for public discussion. Now...for many...the most easily accessible political weapon is a sharp tongue, personal attacks and gross exaggeration of the truth...if relying on any truth at all. I never attacked "conservatives" or "Republicans"...I attacked "right wing extremists"...as I have ALWAYS done in my blogs. I supported the idea that immigrants are not an "evil scourge" in this country...as I have always done. I also supported the idea of "reasonable" gun control...as I have always done. I even threw in a few shots at "redneck" Alabama fans as I have always done...AND WILL ALWAYS DO!!
Now for what I didn't say. I never suggested that we "open our borders" and let ANY and ALL manner of illegal immigrants "bum rush" our borders. I was attacking an "immigration legislation" which I think is unconstitutional and I truly believe will eventually be recognized as such. Racial Profiling and Illegal Immigration are and should be... completely isolated from one another. That was the point that I was trying to make. I do not nor will I ever believe that Civil Rights can be compromised for "the greater good." I also think that historical documentation (not revisionist history)...would point out that our forefathers would share these views. You can't cling to the flag, call yourself a patriot, love the 2nd Ammendment...then take a Sharpie to the rest of the Constitution that you think can be ommitted or that you deem unnecessary. "Inalienable rights" may be an abstract idea...but by now...we should all understand their implied meaning.
As to the Birther Movement...I make NO APOLOGIES for anything that I said about this phenomenon. What more can the President do to appease the bloodlust of this angry and sad group of people?? A copy of the record of birth has been submitted...the state of Hawaii has verified everything...and both local newspapers in Honolulu printed birth announcements on that day for a newborn son born to Barack Obama's parents. We found Sadaam Hussein in a spider hole...somewhere in the middle of Iraq. Don't you think the "powers that be" could track down information that would ultimately be one of the biggest stories in American politics?? Even Republicans (at least the ones that matter) have long sense put this issue to bed. With all due respect...let it go...you won't win this battle because there is nothing to win!! Rather than wasting so much time screaming about where the President was born...you should focus more on who you will vote for in 2012. If you want change...you will have your opportunity very soon!!
In addition, I said some pretty harsh things about a certain cross-section of the Alabama fanbase. To be honest...this is the part of my blog that I expected to create the largest amount of drama...yet only one person commented on my "meanness" and that was an Auburn grad!! Truth is...upon further review...I was a little too harsh and insulting. I have some wonderful friends that are Alabama alumni/fans/ etc. and I love them all dearly. That portion of the blog was geared towards a very small group of people and I think most people know that.
As I think that I have explained myself thoroughly...before I leave...I'd like to address a few more things that were said. First of all...NO ONE has the right to question mine or anyone else's patriotism simply because we choose a different line of thinking. In addition...as it was so eloquently stated yesterday...NO ONE has the right to beat their chest and claim this country as OURS when we have and will always be a "melting pot" of both ideas and ethnicities. For the record...I'm a taxpayer, law abiding, citizen of this country...and by God that makes me NO BETTER than anyone else who was born here or who has immigrated here!!My paternal grandfather died in World War II...the other received the Purple Heart. I happen to think that both of these American heroes would be proud of what I try to represent everyday in my daily life. You see...they weren't just fighting for the US or our citizenry...they were dying and being maimed for an "ideal"...that no person or group of people had the right or would ever have the right to indiscriminantly impose their ideals on the masses under threat of violence or death!! Frighteningly...there are many people RIGHT HERE in the US who maintain this philosophy. If it is different...make it go away...kill it or extradite it. If it doesn't agree with me...it isn't worthy and "dangerous." If I talk loud enough...then no one can hear the other people talking. This philosophy only works in 3rd World countries and Sandboxes...too bad so many people fail to realize that!!
I'm a Patriot who chooses to believe that we have a responsibility to each other as "human beings." I'm not as "liberal as they come" as some have suggested but I also don't cowher in the corner upon being coronated with that title. I recognize that entitlements are out of control, that our government spends too much money and that there are people in this country who are "lazy" and don't want to work. That being said...I also believe that far more Federal money is being sucked down a "black hole" that has ZERO to do with immigration, entitlements, or overall lazy people. I choose to look at the "big picture" not focus on the small irritations that quite frankly are impervious to change. There will always be people that choose to take advantage...there will always be "pork" in government spending...and we all know people who wouldn't work if their life depended on it. That being said...the following narrative is the best way I can describe my political philosophy: When I walk down the street of a metropolitan area...and a homeless man walks up and asks for money...I don't question if he is going to buy beer or drugs, or is he really homeless...I hand him the money and tell him "Good Luck." Could I have used that $5 or $10...maybe?? Would I have used it on something "beneficial" or "productive"...doubtful?? Will he use it on food or alcohol...who cares?? I did something that was from the heart. Somewhere...through all the cynicism, anger, hatred and overall political venom...we as a country and a society have lost site of what "unconditional love" really is. I can't save every person or every animal...but I do what I can...when I can.
So the bottom line is this....if all of these things make me a "bleeding heart", "anti-American" or any other label you choose to slap on my lapel...I'll gladly wear that Scarlett Letter "L" any day of the week. I would NEVER intentionally offend or hurt anyone's feelings...regardless of how much I disagree with them. A wise man once told me that Christ asks us to "treat people better than they deserve to be treated"...and this is something that I have and will always try to live by. Like my blog, like me...hate it or hate me...it isn't important. At the end of the day...I have to smile and know that slowly but surely...these walls of division and isolationism...will one day crumble. How do you get to Carnegie Hall?? PRACTICE...PRACTICE...PRACTICE!!
Until next time friends...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
What the Hell is Wrong with these People??
As Erin and I continue to count down the days until we welcome that little bundle of joy, Ella Giles Burden; I find myself growing more irrritated and at times "intolerant" of those around me. Based on comments received from different friends and family...I think the general consensus is that I just "lay it all on the line" when I write this blog. In other words...this is an "uncensored" and "unrevised" look inside my deepest thoughts. Truth is...I'm still holding back. While some of the views that I have expressed could certainly be deemed as offensive to some readers...it doesn't come close to what I have really wanted to say. Therefore...I have decided to change that practice...at least for today. Today...I won't hold back...I won't be "civil" or "diplomatic"...today...I let James be James. Again...I apologize if this offends someone. It's nothing personal...just who I am....
I read this morning that the Governor of Arizona has vetoed a bill that would force anyone seeking the office of President to "prove" their natural citizenship prior to having their names placed on the ballot. First of all...my hat is off to Governor Brewer. While her stance on the Arizona immigration bill was nauseating and ridiculous...I admire ANY conservative willing to stand up against an issue that has gotten sorely out of hand. The so-called "Birther Movement" centers around one thing...RACISM!! Countless news agencies have tirelessly researched and investigated this idiocy and have found...NOTHING!! Barack Obama could present time-stamped video of his birth with people in the background screaming "this baby is being born in Hawaii" and there would still be MORONS and IDIOTS that would say he was born in Kenya, or Indonesia or maybe somewhere in the Middle East...as we all know he is an "anti-American, closet terrorist"!! If you are going to have the balls to accuse our President of lying and being born in a foreign country...at least be honest enough with yourself to say that it's because he's half BLACK!! I'm sorry...but if Barack Obama was named John Smith...and had a blonde wife and blue eyed children...NONE OF THESE THINGS WOULD BE ISSUES!! How do I know this? Because white people say things to other white people that they wouldn't want minorities to know. I can't tell you how many times some backwoods, jackass has walked up to me and made some sort of racist joke, or racist themed crack about the President. I mean seriously people...George Bush made it through 8 years as President of the United States after getting us in a massive war that we didn't belong in; completely butchering his part of the Hurricane Katrina responsiblity; essentially taking away all civil rights by way of the "Patriot Act", cutting environmental regulations lower than any President in American history, making sure that the RICHEST people in the US paid the LOWEST rate of taxes, repeatedly butchered the English language and presided over one of the worst Economic collapses in our history!! However...no one was chasing him with pitchforks and torches down Pennsylvania Avenue. I couldn't stand Bush...but I didn't think he blew the levees in New Orleans or orchestrated the 911 attacks. Why?? because though I strongly disagreed with his policies and most of his decision making...I knew in his heart...he was still a human being!! He was a man...who though I may not agree with his direction...I truly believe thought what he was doing was the right thing...regardless how misguided it might seem!! Plus...I'm not a complete lunatic...who believes that some sort of governmental conspiracy theory lies around every corner. For the record...to all those people who think any day now the Federal government is going to "come after us"...YOU ARE MENTALLY RETARDED AND IT IS FRIGHTENING THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CAR OR WORSE YET OWN A GUN!! Why would the Federal Government attack the group of people that keeps its doors open?? If we are all dead or engaged in some sort of socio-economic civil war...these "fat cats" don't get paid and therefore can't buy yachts, mansions and miniature giraffes (sorry...just love that coomercial)!! People hate Obama for what?? Suggesting that everyone deserves Health Care...that son of a bitch!! Strengthening the EPA and recognizing that pollution and "dirty" fuels are destroying our country and our world...how dare he!! Finally after all these years...removing a system that would prevent an openly Gay man or woman from DYING for their country...get a rope!! Maybe they hate him because for the first time in 8 years...people in Europe and the rest of the world actually LIKE AND RESPECT...our administration...that bastard!! You know it is bad when FRANCE joins a coalition with us!! Look...I'm not suggesting you like him or even vote for him...I'm just saying the louder you spew your ignorant, venomous poison...the harder some liberal kid is working in school...so that he can shove his "intellect" right down your throat!!
Another point of contention for me is Gun Control in this country. I have read numerous articles and have this information first hand from people involved in the industry...that Gin Sales have actually INCREASED while Obama has been in office. Why...because they want to "stockpile" their weaponry before President "Socialist" takes away their gun rights. Let me say this loud and clear "NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR TOOLS OF DEATH!!" Stop getting your Wal Mart panties in a wad...pop open another ice cold Natural Light and fire a few pop shots off in the Trailerhood...you will be OK!! No politician is going to suggest a BAN on handguns, shotguns, rifles etc. It would create such a civil uprising that all hell would break loose. So stop reading the latest Militia Newsletter and listening to the "Hitler Youth" Greatest Hits...you can continue to kill and maim all the woodland creatures and unsuspecting victims that your heart desires. Just because the Federal Government doesn't think Boo Radley should have an automatic assault rifle...it DOESN'T mean he can't have a .50 caliber handgun!! See...even the evil Federal government believes that inbred dumbasses need hobbies and have the right to accidentally shoot each other in the face!! You just can't do it at 30 rounds per second!! I think "Bubba and em" will make it...
Finally...on a personal note...I have discovered in the past year...that no matter what my beloved alma mater does it will never receive the respect nor the acknowledgement it deserves. In fact...we as Auburn alumni...don't desire notoriety or being placed on a pedestal of "tradition" like OTHER schools in the state...we just ask that you give us the benefit of common courtesy. Our Coach can't even be at a NASCAR race without being BOOED OFF THE STAGE!! Now this actually gives me a quiet sense of joy since most detractors like to refer ro Auburn as "a redneck cow college". I think from a legal perspective...the defense can rest...as the number of Alabama fans obviously dwarfed the numbers of Auburn fans at the Talladega Superspeedway...thus resulting in the stream of boo's and "Roll Tide's." Nothing says class like a Winston hanging out of your mouth, an ice cold Budweiser in your hand, your sister's breasts in your hand and 13 National Championship's on your t-shirt!! It's too bad that Auburn can only when when we are cheating and that Alabama fans can only sound ignorant when they are breathing!! It isn't your school that I hate...or the tradition...or your coach...it's this overwhelming sense of entitlement and expectation that never seems to fade away no matter how generically "average" or underachieving your program is. I think most of the hatred and venom this year is rooted in one day in November. I'm sure most of you remember it...it's the day the number one team in the country came back from 24 points down to bitch-slap your team, coach and most of all...FANBASE...in your stadium...on national TV. Believe me...that taste will stay in your mouth for a while...but at least it can cleanse a little bit of the left over "SKOAL!!" Just remember one thing...and I don't say this to all Bama fans...just the ones that have inspired me to buy a turbin if Alabama ever played Al Qaeda...last year the Auburn Tigers were undefeated and National Champions!! We beat everyone on our schedule...including you guys. You were touted to be the most unstoppable team in the country...with a Heisman Trophy winner returning...and guess what...you choked it away. You lost 4 games...not even close to greatness...hell...not even close to mediocrity!! Who knows what the future holds but that moment...on that night...in January...all of your ignorance, stupidity and redneckery combined...can never take away!! You can kill our trees...you can make fun of our players...and you can HOPE for all the conspiracy theorist results in the world...but at the end of the day...our programn is moving upward and onward and that scares the living hell out of you. If we don't win a game this year...we will still be the AUBURN FAMILY...and you will still be the MULLET NATION!! I'll wake up every morning and stare at my degree on the wall...the one that says "Auburn University"...and my pride will NEVER lessen. At the end of the day...what are you without an undefeated season, a bowl game or a National Championship?? Ask yourself that...
Until next time friends....
I read this morning that the Governor of Arizona has vetoed a bill that would force anyone seeking the office of President to "prove" their natural citizenship prior to having their names placed on the ballot. First of all...my hat is off to Governor Brewer. While her stance on the Arizona immigration bill was nauseating and ridiculous...I admire ANY conservative willing to stand up against an issue that has gotten sorely out of hand. The so-called "Birther Movement" centers around one thing...RACISM!! Countless news agencies have tirelessly researched and investigated this idiocy and have found...NOTHING!! Barack Obama could present time-stamped video of his birth with people in the background screaming "this baby is being born in Hawaii" and there would still be MORONS and IDIOTS that would say he was born in Kenya, or Indonesia or maybe somewhere in the Middle East...as we all know he is an "anti-American, closet terrorist"!! If you are going to have the balls to accuse our President of lying and being born in a foreign country...at least be honest enough with yourself to say that it's because he's half BLACK!! I'm sorry...but if Barack Obama was named John Smith...and had a blonde wife and blue eyed children...NONE OF THESE THINGS WOULD BE ISSUES!! How do I know this? Because white people say things to other white people that they wouldn't want minorities to know. I can't tell you how many times some backwoods, jackass has walked up to me and made some sort of racist joke, or racist themed crack about the President. I mean seriously people...George Bush made it through 8 years as President of the United States after getting us in a massive war that we didn't belong in; completely butchering his part of the Hurricane Katrina responsiblity; essentially taking away all civil rights by way of the "Patriot Act", cutting environmental regulations lower than any President in American history, making sure that the RICHEST people in the US paid the LOWEST rate of taxes, repeatedly butchered the English language and presided over one of the worst Economic collapses in our history!! However...no one was chasing him with pitchforks and torches down Pennsylvania Avenue. I couldn't stand Bush...but I didn't think he blew the levees in New Orleans or orchestrated the 911 attacks. Why?? because though I strongly disagreed with his policies and most of his decision making...I knew in his heart...he was still a human being!! He was a man...who though I may not agree with his direction...I truly believe thought what he was doing was the right thing...regardless how misguided it might seem!! Plus...I'm not a complete lunatic...who believes that some sort of governmental conspiracy theory lies around every corner. For the record...to all those people who think any day now the Federal government is going to "come after us"...YOU ARE MENTALLY RETARDED AND IT IS FRIGHTENING THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CAR OR WORSE YET OWN A GUN!! Why would the Federal Government attack the group of people that keeps its doors open?? If we are all dead or engaged in some sort of socio-economic civil war...these "fat cats" don't get paid and therefore can't buy yachts, mansions and miniature giraffes (sorry...just love that coomercial)!! People hate Obama for what?? Suggesting that everyone deserves Health Care...that son of a bitch!! Strengthening the EPA and recognizing that pollution and "dirty" fuels are destroying our country and our world...how dare he!! Finally after all these years...removing a system that would prevent an openly Gay man or woman from DYING for their country...get a rope!! Maybe they hate him because for the first time in 8 years...people in Europe and the rest of the world actually LIKE AND RESPECT...our administration...that bastard!! You know it is bad when FRANCE joins a coalition with us!! Look...I'm not suggesting you like him or even vote for him...I'm just saying the louder you spew your ignorant, venomous poison...the harder some liberal kid is working in school...so that he can shove his "intellect" right down your throat!!
Another point of contention for me is Gun Control in this country. I have read numerous articles and have this information first hand from people involved in the industry...that Gin Sales have actually INCREASED while Obama has been in office. Why...because they want to "stockpile" their weaponry before President "Socialist" takes away their gun rights. Let me say this loud and clear "NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR TOOLS OF DEATH!!" Stop getting your Wal Mart panties in a wad...pop open another ice cold Natural Light and fire a few pop shots off in the Trailerhood...you will be OK!! No politician is going to suggest a BAN on handguns, shotguns, rifles etc. It would create such a civil uprising that all hell would break loose. So stop reading the latest Militia Newsletter and listening to the "Hitler Youth" Greatest Hits...you can continue to kill and maim all the woodland creatures and unsuspecting victims that your heart desires. Just because the Federal Government doesn't think Boo Radley should have an automatic assault rifle...it DOESN'T mean he can't have a .50 caliber handgun!! See...even the evil Federal government believes that inbred dumbasses need hobbies and have the right to accidentally shoot each other in the face!! You just can't do it at 30 rounds per second!! I think "Bubba and em" will make it...
Finally...on a personal note...I have discovered in the past year...that no matter what my beloved alma mater does it will never receive the respect nor the acknowledgement it deserves. In fact...we as Auburn alumni...don't desire notoriety or being placed on a pedestal of "tradition" like OTHER schools in the state...we just ask that you give us the benefit of common courtesy. Our Coach can't even be at a NASCAR race without being BOOED OFF THE STAGE!! Now this actually gives me a quiet sense of joy since most detractors like to refer ro Auburn as "a redneck cow college". I think from a legal perspective...the defense can rest...as the number of Alabama fans obviously dwarfed the numbers of Auburn fans at the Talladega Superspeedway...thus resulting in the stream of boo's and "Roll Tide's." Nothing says class like a Winston hanging out of your mouth, an ice cold Budweiser in your hand, your sister's breasts in your hand and 13 National Championship's on your t-shirt!! It's too bad that Auburn can only when when we are cheating and that Alabama fans can only sound ignorant when they are breathing!! It isn't your school that I hate...or the tradition...or your coach...it's this overwhelming sense of entitlement and expectation that never seems to fade away no matter how generically "average" or underachieving your program is. I think most of the hatred and venom this year is rooted in one day in November. I'm sure most of you remember it...it's the day the number one team in the country came back from 24 points down to bitch-slap your team, coach and most of all...FANBASE...in your stadium...on national TV. Believe me...that taste will stay in your mouth for a while...but at least it can cleanse a little bit of the left over "SKOAL!!" Just remember one thing...and I don't say this to all Bama fans...just the ones that have inspired me to buy a turbin if Alabama ever played Al Qaeda...last year the Auburn Tigers were undefeated and National Champions!! We beat everyone on our schedule...including you guys. You were touted to be the most unstoppable team in the country...with a Heisman Trophy winner returning...and guess what...you choked it away. You lost 4 games...not even close to greatness...hell...not even close to mediocrity!! Who knows what the future holds but that moment...on that night...in January...all of your ignorance, stupidity and redneckery combined...can never take away!! You can kill our trees...you can make fun of our players...and you can HOPE for all the conspiracy theorist results in the world...but at the end of the day...our programn is moving upward and onward and that scares the living hell out of you. If we don't win a game this year...we will still be the AUBURN FAMILY...and you will still be the MULLET NATION!! I'll wake up every morning and stare at my degree on the wall...the one that says "Auburn University"...and my pride will NEVER lessen. At the end of the day...what are you without an undefeated season, a bowl game or a National Championship?? Ask yourself that...
Until next time friends....
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Back Again...Hopefully For Good!!
Once again...I have been overwhelmed by the vast number of people that have expressed an interest in my blogs. Obviously...I am exposed for all to see with regard to one of my many faults...consistency!! Like so many things in my life...it is very difficult for me to focus on writing (though it is something that I love implicitly) while I am dealing with ANY form of emotional upheaval. So today...rather than go on a specific tangent...I will hit some bullet points. These are things that have been weighing heavily on my mind or have effected me personally in some way. Some may be boring...so please...bare with me. More than anything...thank you from the bottom of my heart for your concern, interest and most of all...negative or positive...your comments!!
Labor and Delivery Closing at BWMH: As many of you already know...a few weeks ago Bryan Whitfeild Memorial Hospital announced that it would be closing its Labor and Deliver Department. My wife is an L&D nuse there and has been for the last 5 years. Sadly, as it stands, she and 10 of her co-workers will be unemployed as of May 31. There is still hope that the hospital may be able to save the department with the assistance of the City Council but we are cautiously optimistic. On a personal note, this has been tremendously difficult for Erin and myself. With the birth of Ella Giles looming less than 3 weeks away...that loss of income is a frightening proposition. In addition...Erin's ego took quite a shot as "loss of employment" is something that until now...she had never been forced to deal with. We have made our peace with this...as we obviously have no other choice...however this announcement has a far deeper meaning in the grand scheme of things. We now live in a world, society, community, etc. where the "bottom line" has become so important...that human life has to take a backseat. You see delivering babies isn't "profitable." Statistically, this is the case across the United States...NO L&D wards make money. I understand that a Hospital must maintain a stream of revenue to maintain the integrity of day-to-day operations...but are people really willing to trade a safe haven for expectant mothers...for a profit?? People like to blame this on "indigent care" and the increased occurrence of "entitlement recipients." I have no doubt that this phenomenon plays a part...but is this really the most appropriate answer?? Sorry...too many poor people are having babies...so we can't deliver ANYONE. The Right Wing will tell you that this is due to the collapse of Capitalism and the fact that too many people want something for nothing. I'm here to tell you that if you look deep enough...greed plays a part. It should be said that NO administrative personnel have been lost during this so-called "uncontrolled bleed." Like so many "corporations" that fail...the "little people" become expendable while the "big fish" keep their jobs. I have to wonder how these people can sleep at night...but like so many prople in this country...I guess they think "who cares" it doesn't effect me!!
I am honored and humbled by the doctors, hospital staff, city officials and citizenry that have provided a loud and clear outcry of disdain and disgust over this decision. I hope and pray that it can be resolved and that not only jobs will be saved...but that hundreds of children will be delivered in a comfortable hospital room rather than a dirty emergency room...or worse yet...the backseat of a car!! By the way... can you guess what type of system would prevent this all together...I'll give you a hint...ask someone British!!
My wife: This is a little self indulgent but I just have to say that each and everyday...I am more impressed and proud of the woman that I am married to. In spite of losing her job...being 9 months pregnant...having little or no sleep everynight...plus all the little "health issues" that come from carrying a child...her resiliency and strength astounds me on EVERY level. Not only does she go to work everyday...miserable...knowing that she soon will be unemployed...she continues to be a team player...covering shifts as L&D nurses begin to jump off their own version of the TITANIC. Erin has a strength and courage that I do not nor have I ever posessed. She is able to keep going and fight through things...never once revealing any emotional weakness. I am in awe of her and I don't deserve someone like her...to be perfectly honest. She isn't perfect..and God knows she drives me nuts sometimes...but there is NO ONE on this Earth who could possibly be more equipped for motherhood than she is. Ella Giles has a "rock" for a mother...I just hope her Dad can keep up!! I love you Erin and no matter what...I couldn't be prouder of where you've been...what you've accomplished and more importantly...where you are going. My love for you is endless...and I look forward to our new adventure!!
Weight-Loss: So once again...I feel like a complete failure in the wonderful world of "James VS. Food 2011." The Bariatric Weight Loss was working very well...unfortunately it was VERY expensive. After a weight loss of approximately 25-30 pounds...I decided to change directions. As usual...the moment I strayed...not only did I fall off the wagon...it ran me over with both wheels. While I have not gained back all of the weight...I have gained and am very ashamed of myself. This has been an ongoing struggle for me and my frequent failure continues to pummel my self-esteem. I want it so bad...yet my will is CRAP!! My emotions are my worst enemy and I am just about at my wits end. Do I go back to Weight Watchers? Do I cut Carbs again...or do I just say "to hell with this" and go the surgical route. I am so tired of failure and so tired of looking at this person that I don't like. I need support...I need prayer...I need inner strength!! For all of you who struggle with a similar demon...just know you are not alone. The next few weeks are going to be critical...just keep me in your thoughts and prayers!!
Ella Giles: I never thought that it was humanly possible for me to be this excited over a BABY!! Much less a baby that hasn't arrived yet. Everyday...it becomes more real what Erin and I will be sharing in the coming weeks. I have feared this moment for 32 years...and now I find myself wondering why I didn't make this happen sooner!! Everyday she changes me for the better...and everyday I thank God for giving me the chance to be a father. I'm nervous...but it isn't a "I'm scared" nervousness. It's almost like going on a first date..or that first kiss...the anticipation is unreal...and I know that the outcome will be epic!! I just hope she looks like her MOTHER...not sure how the "big man" would transfer to a woman?? Either way...she will be short, furry and funny!! We love you...our beautiful Ella Giles...we are waiting for you whenever you are ready to come see us!!
Now for a few quick political comments (you knew that I couldn't resist!!):
Government Shutdown: Did we really not learn our lesson from 1995?? Granted...the government received a "stay of execution" but it shouldn't have come to that. Partisanship is the WORST it has ever been. Sadly...I think this polarization will only elevate in its lack of civility. We are at war...if you don't believe that...you haven't been watching the news!! It isn't fought with guns, bombs, or embargos...but with innuendo, sharp tongues and laptops!! The Republicans want nothing more but to make Barack Obama look like "Osama Bin Laden"...and the Democrats are flailing away trying to prove that they aren't "socialists." Is this what we have come to? I don't believe the average American citizen wants to see this continued decay of political civility. The problem is that a handful of "idiots" and I mean that with NO due respect...would like to see this country plunged into some sort of economical "civil war." Which brings me to my next point...
The Tea Party: The fact that this merry bunch of social retards are now influencing policy is one of the biggest disgraces and farces to hit the airwaves since Charlie Sheen started giving interviews. I have seen these people and if they represent the "majority" of the American people then the vast majority of Americans have stopped reading books, don't value cleanliness or style and have apparently settled in uninhabited areas of the Ozark Mountains (see "Winter's Bone"). Could someone please end the 15 minutes of fame that this "human debris" has maintained. I'm ready to have discussions with people that don't believe the world is flat!! These are the same people that would have burned books in Nazi Germany and attempted to execute Galileo for being a heretic!! There is no place in this country for that sort of closed-minded ignorance. I'm ready to move forward...and the only way to do that is to eradicate devisiveness. We can disagree...social discourse is great. But let me be the first to say...if your idea of a perfect America involves a gun in every holster, a gay in every CLOSET, an abortion in every BACK ALLEY and a Mexican in every JAIL...may I be the first to offer you an all expense paid vacation to the cave you crawled out of!! I'm tired of listening to these idiots scream at the top of their lungs while I'm expected to be respectful, civil and patient. The bottom line is...I REFUSE to let MY country be tainted and it's history be re-written...by a bunch of angry yahoo's who wouldn't understand empathy or humility if it turned into a tornado and destroyed their Trailerhood!! WAKE UP AMERICA...our priorities are skewed and we are picking the wrong battles!!
I think I've done enough damage...I'll save the rest of this for tomorrow perhaps. I promise..no more months in between. And if this offended you...I'm sorry. I have a child on the way...and guess what...It's NOT JUST ABOUT ME ANYMORE!! Until next time friends...
Labor and Delivery Closing at BWMH: As many of you already know...a few weeks ago Bryan Whitfeild Memorial Hospital announced that it would be closing its Labor and Deliver Department. My wife is an L&D nuse there and has been for the last 5 years. Sadly, as it stands, she and 10 of her co-workers will be unemployed as of May 31. There is still hope that the hospital may be able to save the department with the assistance of the City Council but we are cautiously optimistic. On a personal note, this has been tremendously difficult for Erin and myself. With the birth of Ella Giles looming less than 3 weeks away...that loss of income is a frightening proposition. In addition...Erin's ego took quite a shot as "loss of employment" is something that until now...she had never been forced to deal with. We have made our peace with this...as we obviously have no other choice...however this announcement has a far deeper meaning in the grand scheme of things. We now live in a world, society, community, etc. where the "bottom line" has become so important...that human life has to take a backseat. You see delivering babies isn't "profitable." Statistically, this is the case across the United States...NO L&D wards make money. I understand that a Hospital must maintain a stream of revenue to maintain the integrity of day-to-day operations...but are people really willing to trade a safe haven for expectant mothers...for a profit?? People like to blame this on "indigent care" and the increased occurrence of "entitlement recipients." I have no doubt that this phenomenon plays a part...but is this really the most appropriate answer?? Sorry...too many poor people are having babies...so we can't deliver ANYONE. The Right Wing will tell you that this is due to the collapse of Capitalism and the fact that too many people want something for nothing. I'm here to tell you that if you look deep enough...greed plays a part. It should be said that NO administrative personnel have been lost during this so-called "uncontrolled bleed." Like so many "corporations" that fail...the "little people" become expendable while the "big fish" keep their jobs. I have to wonder how these people can sleep at night...but like so many prople in this country...I guess they think "who cares" it doesn't effect me!!
I am honored and humbled by the doctors, hospital staff, city officials and citizenry that have provided a loud and clear outcry of disdain and disgust over this decision. I hope and pray that it can be resolved and that not only jobs will be saved...but that hundreds of children will be delivered in a comfortable hospital room rather than a dirty emergency room...or worse yet...the backseat of a car!! By the way... can you guess what type of system would prevent this all together...I'll give you a hint...ask someone British!!
My wife: This is a little self indulgent but I just have to say that each and everyday...I am more impressed and proud of the woman that I am married to. In spite of losing her job...being 9 months pregnant...having little or no sleep everynight...plus all the little "health issues" that come from carrying a child...her resiliency and strength astounds me on EVERY level. Not only does she go to work everyday...miserable...knowing that she soon will be unemployed...she continues to be a team player...covering shifts as L&D nurses begin to jump off their own version of the TITANIC. Erin has a strength and courage that I do not nor have I ever posessed. She is able to keep going and fight through things...never once revealing any emotional weakness. I am in awe of her and I don't deserve someone like her...to be perfectly honest. She isn't perfect..and God knows she drives me nuts sometimes...but there is NO ONE on this Earth who could possibly be more equipped for motherhood than she is. Ella Giles has a "rock" for a mother...I just hope her Dad can keep up!! I love you Erin and no matter what...I couldn't be prouder of where you've been...what you've accomplished and more importantly...where you are going. My love for you is endless...and I look forward to our new adventure!!
Weight-Loss: So once again...I feel like a complete failure in the wonderful world of "James VS. Food 2011." The Bariatric Weight Loss was working very well...unfortunately it was VERY expensive. After a weight loss of approximately 25-30 pounds...I decided to change directions. As usual...the moment I strayed...not only did I fall off the wagon...it ran me over with both wheels. While I have not gained back all of the weight...I have gained and am very ashamed of myself. This has been an ongoing struggle for me and my frequent failure continues to pummel my self-esteem. I want it so bad...yet my will is CRAP!! My emotions are my worst enemy and I am just about at my wits end. Do I go back to Weight Watchers? Do I cut Carbs again...or do I just say "to hell with this" and go the surgical route. I am so tired of failure and so tired of looking at this person that I don't like. I need support...I need prayer...I need inner strength!! For all of you who struggle with a similar demon...just know you are not alone. The next few weeks are going to be critical...just keep me in your thoughts and prayers!!
Ella Giles: I never thought that it was humanly possible for me to be this excited over a BABY!! Much less a baby that hasn't arrived yet. Everyday...it becomes more real what Erin and I will be sharing in the coming weeks. I have feared this moment for 32 years...and now I find myself wondering why I didn't make this happen sooner!! Everyday she changes me for the better...and everyday I thank God for giving me the chance to be a father. I'm nervous...but it isn't a "I'm scared" nervousness. It's almost like going on a first date..or that first kiss...the anticipation is unreal...and I know that the outcome will be epic!! I just hope she looks like her MOTHER...not sure how the "big man" would transfer to a woman?? Either way...she will be short, furry and funny!! We love you...our beautiful Ella Giles...we are waiting for you whenever you are ready to come see us!!
Now for a few quick political comments (you knew that I couldn't resist!!):
Government Shutdown: Did we really not learn our lesson from 1995?? Granted...the government received a "stay of execution" but it shouldn't have come to that. Partisanship is the WORST it has ever been. Sadly...I think this polarization will only elevate in its lack of civility. We are at war...if you don't believe that...you haven't been watching the news!! It isn't fought with guns, bombs, or embargos...but with innuendo, sharp tongues and laptops!! The Republicans want nothing more but to make Barack Obama look like "Osama Bin Laden"...and the Democrats are flailing away trying to prove that they aren't "socialists." Is this what we have come to? I don't believe the average American citizen wants to see this continued decay of political civility. The problem is that a handful of "idiots" and I mean that with NO due respect...would like to see this country plunged into some sort of economical "civil war." Which brings me to my next point...
The Tea Party: The fact that this merry bunch of social retards are now influencing policy is one of the biggest disgraces and farces to hit the airwaves since Charlie Sheen started giving interviews. I have seen these people and if they represent the "majority" of the American people then the vast majority of Americans have stopped reading books, don't value cleanliness or style and have apparently settled in uninhabited areas of the Ozark Mountains (see "Winter's Bone"). Could someone please end the 15 minutes of fame that this "human debris" has maintained. I'm ready to have discussions with people that don't believe the world is flat!! These are the same people that would have burned books in Nazi Germany and attempted to execute Galileo for being a heretic!! There is no place in this country for that sort of closed-minded ignorance. I'm ready to move forward...and the only way to do that is to eradicate devisiveness. We can disagree...social discourse is great. But let me be the first to say...if your idea of a perfect America involves a gun in every holster, a gay in every CLOSET, an abortion in every BACK ALLEY and a Mexican in every JAIL...may I be the first to offer you an all expense paid vacation to the cave you crawled out of!! I'm tired of listening to these idiots scream at the top of their lungs while I'm expected to be respectful, civil and patient. The bottom line is...I REFUSE to let MY country be tainted and it's history be re-written...by a bunch of angry yahoo's who wouldn't understand empathy or humility if it turned into a tornado and destroyed their Trailerhood!! WAKE UP AMERICA...our priorities are skewed and we are picking the wrong battles!!
I think I've done enough damage...I'll save the rest of this for tomorrow perhaps. I promise..no more months in between. And if this offended you...I'm sorry. I have a child on the way...and guess what...It's NOT JUST ABOUT ME ANYMORE!! Until next time friends...
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