I started receiving text messages just before 7:00 p.m. last night. I had not seen the latest news and was out of pocket. However...it didn't take long for me to read a few articles and feel a sick, angry and overall disgusted feeling in the pit of my stomach.
For more than 100 years...two sprawling Oak Trees have stood as a living embodiment of Auburn and it's "Family." Following each Auburn victory, thousands of Auburn men and women flock to Toomer's Corner to bathe the mighty stalwarts in white toilet paper. For many this tradition may seem silly and sophomoric...but to we Auburn people it represents something far bigger.
You see...for every roll of toilet paper that swings over those massive, creaking branches...there is the smile on the face of a child...just learning the traditions that he/she have heard their mother and father talk about so gleefully. For every one of those children...that excitedly climbs to the middle of one of those trees...there is a mother and father who remember how long ago it has been since they did the same. For every mother/father...who sheds a single tear as they watch their young ones scurrying hastily up the trunk of our beloved trees...there stands a Grandparent. An elderly man/woman who remembers the first time they stood before these mighty trees...yelled WAR EAGLE and themselves hurled a roll of white celebration as high as they possibly could. As the confetti of torn paper falls down around them...they realize that their lives...the life of the "Auburn Family"...has come full circle. Three generations standing on hallowed ground...time has taken and given...but one thing remains... an unchanging constant...THOSE MIGHT TREES.
They stand as a symbol of Auburn's mighty resolve and the faith and love of it's people. On quiet days...as the wind softly blows across our aging warriors...you can almost hear the whispers of history. The voices of legendary Auburn men like Sug Jordan, Cliff Hare and David Housel...seem to resonate from the trees mighty base. The victorious yells of Pat Sullivan, Bo Jackson, Brent Fullwood and Terry Beasley seem to echo off of Samford Hall and travel along the low-hanging branches. The sounds of the Auburn Fight Song, the Alma Mater and "Eye of the Tiger"...seem to emerge from their powerful, deeply planted, roots. You see that is why these trees are so important and that is what the Auburn family is about...ROOTS!!
These "roots" are stronger than the bitterness of a rivalry, they are more entrenched than the stats of "wins and losses", and they run much deeper than the games played on a field. These "roots" start with Auburn University and continue through the myriad of lives that are touched by it's time-honored creed on a daily basis. We believe that this is a practical world...we believe in education...we believe in honesty and truthfulness...we believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid...we believe in obedience to law...we believe in the human touch...we believe in our country...all of these things are what our "roots" are predicated on. At the end of the day...you can kill our "trees"...you can attempt to destroy our "symbols"...you can scoff at our "family"...you may win the battle but you will NEVER win the war!! You see these "roots" have been planted and cultivated in every beating heart of the Auburn men and women across the world. As long as our hearts beat...as long as we have the breath to bellow "WAR EAGLE"...as long as their are men, women and children who proudly adorn themselves with Orange and Blue...while the "trees" may wither and die...the "roots" only get stronger!! We feed off of each other...our sustenance is the knowledge that what we have is special and that there is NOTHING like it anywhere. And at the end of the day... when all the venom is spewed...all the malice is visible in living color and all the hatred seems to drip from every pore of our detractors...WE BELIEVE IN AUBURN AND LOVE IT!!
The Auburn Spirit...like energy can't be created or destroyed. It is a living embodiment of who and what we are. So today...pray that the trees can be saved...prepare to mourn their loss if they can't...but rejoice in the fact that their void is merely a physical manifestation of ignorance and depravity. Our "roots" remain strong and healthy...that my friends will NEVER change!!
WAR EAGLE...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN...
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
AIRING OF GRIEVANCES...
Once again...I have let a busy work week and other preoccupations...prevent me from doing something that I truly enjoy. I must admit that this morning...I am incredibly streesed out!! Between the presentation that I have to deliver in less than 2 hours...my diet and the daily barrage of worries that enter my mind...I doubt this will be very profound. That being said...I am taking inspiration from one of my favorite shows "Seinfeld"...and have decided to "air a few grievances." Yes...today is a "FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US." So without further ado...here is a list of things that are driving me nuts. Perhaps you agree with some or all of them or perhaps this will be the last time you ever read my blog!! Needless to say...here we go (in no particular order)....
1) Justin Bieber- I still remember a day when being an entertainer required more than a "frat boy mop top" and the ability to dance. This kid has taken the world by storm...and I just don't get it. Since when was the definition of "sexy" for young girls predicated on just how skinny and effeminite a guy is? If this kid was any "gayer"...he would be on a billboard next top Harvey Milk in the Castro District of San Francisco!! The only difference is that Harvey Milk actually accomplished great things for gay rights. I actually think this closeted little elf is setting gay rights back 30 years!! Hey Justin...you want to earn my resepct...come out of the closet, cut your hair, and sing a song that doesn't require a synthesizer!!
2) Justin Bieber Fans- I think I said enough about Bieber in the previous paragraph...but his fand are an entirely differnt ballgame. I have read that the Grammy winner for Best New Artist...Esperanza Spalding...has received death threats from the Bieber's "Lollipop Guild" because he didn't win? I'm sorry but she is a brilliant jazz cellist...who has an amazing voice and writes her own songs. Bieber is an underdeveloped girl...who essentially is the second coming of New Kids on the Block. Playing the cello as opposed to the "skin flute"...are not the same thing!! If I see one more pre-teen girl crying over Justin Bieber...I might have to attack someone with a hammer!! If your kid is crying over an entertainer....just go ahead and empty out that College Fund and get them to a therapist. Believe me...they will need it!! Grow up kids...if you are that obsessed with spending the rest of your life with a gay man...just ask Liza Minneli how that worked out!!
3) Sarah Palin- There is not enough time in the day nor words in the english language to express just how much I detest this right wing, lunatic. She has made a career off of being an idiot. Congratulations Sarah...you hijacked John McCain's Presidential campaign and destroyed any chance that he will ever have of running again...now you have parlayed that into your on Presidential aspirations. Call me crazy...but I can't bear the thought of seeing the White House decorated with Moose heads and eskimo tears!! Could someone in the republican party please tell this half witted, obnoxious, harpy that her 15 minutes expired 2 years ago!! If she is the future of the Republican party...then Obama can get comfortable..cause you've got 4 more years of leadership to deal with. If she ever got elected President...it would be proof positive that the US no longer cares about it's world reputation. When is the next flight to Quebec?
3) Lady Gaga- She is so incredibly talented...I must admit that I like some of her work. That being said...is it me or does she look like the spawn of Madonna and Marilyn Manson. I am so sick of "shock music" and freak shows being labeled as "art." I'm sorry folks...not just ANYTHING is "art." You can't take off all your clothes...cover yourself in raw meat and call yourself an artist. Wear a normal outfit...back off the eye make-up...play your piano and sing. Otherwise...shut the hell up you skank!!
4) People who talk to you in bathrooms- When I am in the bathroom...conversation is not important. This is a very private, solemn moment for me. If I am at the urinal...or in a stall...I don't care how your day is going nor do I want to share my innermost thoughts. We can talk after or before...not during. I find it gross and remarkably annoying. If you are one of these people...cease and desist immediately. I'm not that bored!!
5) Any television program involving multiple births or people with large numbers of children- You don't have a family...you have a litter!! I am not impressed by people who have large numbers of children at one time...and I am less impressed with people who continue to irresponsibly have child after child. Especially when I am painfully aware that tax payers money and donations are fueling your "mini village." It is so funny to me that the people who call this garbage "a blessing from God"...are the same people who think Welfare, SSI, WIC and other government agancies are bogus!! I hate to break it to you...but these are glaring examples of how we validate stupidity through government assistance. How about a show about people that have one or two kids, practice responsible birth control and spend their lives creating a wonderful, normal family!! That is something that I can relate to..not "The Case of the Exploding Uterus." It's 2011, not 1811...it is no longer necessary to have children in order to maintain the "Plantation." Take a break...read a book...and close the borders to that birth canal!!
6) Immigration Nuts- I don't believe that we should just open the doors to all "comers." I understand that we have to have laws and regulations...immigrants need to enter this country "the right way." That being said...have you ever seen a lazy immigrant? I mean really...have you ever seen a Hispanic guy on a road crew just hanging out, sitting under a tree and barking orders? Of course not...they are some of the hardest working people that I have ever encountered. Many of these people are working back-braking jobs for less money...only to send most of it back to their families elsewhere. Yeah...they are truly destroying the framework of our country!! Correct me if I'm wrong...but who here is not an immigrant? Oh that's right...there are natives here...but you don't see them often since we stole their land and stuck them on reservations. But that's OK...we did give them beads and smallpox as payment in full!! The bottom line is...if you don't like immigrants...find a new country. Actually...you can stay here...just hang out at Bingo Parlors or Casinos...there owners can relate to your plight!!
7) The Drug War- I'm going to go ahead and say...we lost!!Drug trafficking continues to increase day-by-day and in turn thousands of people are dying everyday...see Juarez, Mexico. When are we going to realize that the smartest thing we could do right now...is LEGALIZE MARIJUANA and tax the HELL OUT OF IT!! When was the last time you read about someone killing an entire family in a horrific car wreck because they were...HIGH?? The answer is NEVER. They wouldn't be driving fast enough to do any real damage and once they picked up their Funions and Fun Dip...they would head back to their cave to finish watching old reruns of Scooby Doo. I'm not saying everyone she be a pothead...I haven't smoked in 8 years...all I'm saying is that smoking a joint at home is no different than having a few beers. Lighten up people...it's just weed!!
8) Beauty Pageants (of any kind...)- I'm sorry but it still astounds me that in 2011...many women think that validation comes from how they look in an Evening Gown and a Bathing Suit. How archaic and backward is it that parents still push their kids into these mind-numbing cattle calls. Something you will NEVER hear in life..."We should really hire Kimberly...you know she was "Miss Chili Dog Queen" 3 years running!!" There is nothing wrong for being beautiful...but it is wrong to win an award for it!! People have told me my whole life..."oh those aren't beauty pageants...they judge them on so much more." Really...well then...a competition based on how you carry yourself, intelligence, ability to answer unexpected questions and overall talent...that's called a "JOB INTERVIEW." Noone interviews for a job in high heels and a two-piece. Stop pushing your daughters to be self-absorbed, shallow, egocentric, morons...
9) Obama Haters- I'm not saying you have to agree with his politics but the level of venom and hatred that spews forth with regard to our President is unprecedented. Apparently, anyday now, Obama will pull off his well-formed mask and reveal horns, red eyes and a turbin!! If National Health Care reform is a lithmus test for evil and corruption...then we have some serious problems with priorities. You can't take a country in total economic shambles and piece it back together again overnight. I never thought Obama was going to be "christ-like"..it took time to get in this mess and it will take time to get us out. All I'm saying is...dislike the policy don't dislike the man!1 I thought and still think that George Bush had some of the worst policies in American History...but I didn't think he blew up the levys in New Orleans!! I wonder if Obama's name were "Barrett Oliver" and he looked a bit more...WHITE...if the same hatred would exist?? Ponder that for a moment (the answer: HELL NO)...
I think I have done enough damage. I must admit...I feel better!!
Until next time my friends...
1) Justin Bieber- I still remember a day when being an entertainer required more than a "frat boy mop top" and the ability to dance. This kid has taken the world by storm...and I just don't get it. Since when was the definition of "sexy" for young girls predicated on just how skinny and effeminite a guy is? If this kid was any "gayer"...he would be on a billboard next top Harvey Milk in the Castro District of San Francisco!! The only difference is that Harvey Milk actually accomplished great things for gay rights. I actually think this closeted little elf is setting gay rights back 30 years!! Hey Justin...you want to earn my resepct...come out of the closet, cut your hair, and sing a song that doesn't require a synthesizer!!
2) Justin Bieber Fans- I think I said enough about Bieber in the previous paragraph...but his fand are an entirely differnt ballgame. I have read that the Grammy winner for Best New Artist...Esperanza Spalding...has received death threats from the Bieber's "Lollipop Guild" because he didn't win? I'm sorry but she is a brilliant jazz cellist...who has an amazing voice and writes her own songs. Bieber is an underdeveloped girl...who essentially is the second coming of New Kids on the Block. Playing the cello as opposed to the "skin flute"...are not the same thing!! If I see one more pre-teen girl crying over Justin Bieber...I might have to attack someone with a hammer!! If your kid is crying over an entertainer....just go ahead and empty out that College Fund and get them to a therapist. Believe me...they will need it!! Grow up kids...if you are that obsessed with spending the rest of your life with a gay man...just ask Liza Minneli how that worked out!!
3) Sarah Palin- There is not enough time in the day nor words in the english language to express just how much I detest this right wing, lunatic. She has made a career off of being an idiot. Congratulations Sarah...you hijacked John McCain's Presidential campaign and destroyed any chance that he will ever have of running again...now you have parlayed that into your on Presidential aspirations. Call me crazy...but I can't bear the thought of seeing the White House decorated with Moose heads and eskimo tears!! Could someone in the republican party please tell this half witted, obnoxious, harpy that her 15 minutes expired 2 years ago!! If she is the future of the Republican party...then Obama can get comfortable..cause you've got 4 more years of leadership to deal with. If she ever got elected President...it would be proof positive that the US no longer cares about it's world reputation. When is the next flight to Quebec?
3) Lady Gaga- She is so incredibly talented...I must admit that I like some of her work. That being said...is it me or does she look like the spawn of Madonna and Marilyn Manson. I am so sick of "shock music" and freak shows being labeled as "art." I'm sorry folks...not just ANYTHING is "art." You can't take off all your clothes...cover yourself in raw meat and call yourself an artist. Wear a normal outfit...back off the eye make-up...play your piano and sing. Otherwise...shut the hell up you skank!!
4) People who talk to you in bathrooms- When I am in the bathroom...conversation is not important. This is a very private, solemn moment for me. If I am at the urinal...or in a stall...I don't care how your day is going nor do I want to share my innermost thoughts. We can talk after or before...not during. I find it gross and remarkably annoying. If you are one of these people...cease and desist immediately. I'm not that bored!!
5) Any television program involving multiple births or people with large numbers of children- You don't have a family...you have a litter!! I am not impressed by people who have large numbers of children at one time...and I am less impressed with people who continue to irresponsibly have child after child. Especially when I am painfully aware that tax payers money and donations are fueling your "mini village." It is so funny to me that the people who call this garbage "a blessing from God"...are the same people who think Welfare, SSI, WIC and other government agancies are bogus!! I hate to break it to you...but these are glaring examples of how we validate stupidity through government assistance. How about a show about people that have one or two kids, practice responsible birth control and spend their lives creating a wonderful, normal family!! That is something that I can relate to..not "The Case of the Exploding Uterus." It's 2011, not 1811...it is no longer necessary to have children in order to maintain the "Plantation." Take a break...read a book...and close the borders to that birth canal!!
6) Immigration Nuts- I don't believe that we should just open the doors to all "comers." I understand that we have to have laws and regulations...immigrants need to enter this country "the right way." That being said...have you ever seen a lazy immigrant? I mean really...have you ever seen a Hispanic guy on a road crew just hanging out, sitting under a tree and barking orders? Of course not...they are some of the hardest working people that I have ever encountered. Many of these people are working back-braking jobs for less money...only to send most of it back to their families elsewhere. Yeah...they are truly destroying the framework of our country!! Correct me if I'm wrong...but who here is not an immigrant? Oh that's right...there are natives here...but you don't see them often since we stole their land and stuck them on reservations. But that's OK...we did give them beads and smallpox as payment in full!! The bottom line is...if you don't like immigrants...find a new country. Actually...you can stay here...just hang out at Bingo Parlors or Casinos...there owners can relate to your plight!!
7) The Drug War- I'm going to go ahead and say...we lost!!Drug trafficking continues to increase day-by-day and in turn thousands of people are dying everyday...see Juarez, Mexico. When are we going to realize that the smartest thing we could do right now...is LEGALIZE MARIJUANA and tax the HELL OUT OF IT!! When was the last time you read about someone killing an entire family in a horrific car wreck because they were...HIGH?? The answer is NEVER. They wouldn't be driving fast enough to do any real damage and once they picked up their Funions and Fun Dip...they would head back to their cave to finish watching old reruns of Scooby Doo. I'm not saying everyone she be a pothead...I haven't smoked in 8 years...all I'm saying is that smoking a joint at home is no different than having a few beers. Lighten up people...it's just weed!!
8) Beauty Pageants (of any kind...)- I'm sorry but it still astounds me that in 2011...many women think that validation comes from how they look in an Evening Gown and a Bathing Suit. How archaic and backward is it that parents still push their kids into these mind-numbing cattle calls. Something you will NEVER hear in life..."We should really hire Kimberly...you know she was "Miss Chili Dog Queen" 3 years running!!" There is nothing wrong for being beautiful...but it is wrong to win an award for it!! People have told me my whole life..."oh those aren't beauty pageants...they judge them on so much more." Really...well then...a competition based on how you carry yourself, intelligence, ability to answer unexpected questions and overall talent...that's called a "JOB INTERVIEW." Noone interviews for a job in high heels and a two-piece. Stop pushing your daughters to be self-absorbed, shallow, egocentric, morons...
9) Obama Haters- I'm not saying you have to agree with his politics but the level of venom and hatred that spews forth with regard to our President is unprecedented. Apparently, anyday now, Obama will pull off his well-formed mask and reveal horns, red eyes and a turbin!! If National Health Care reform is a lithmus test for evil and corruption...then we have some serious problems with priorities. You can't take a country in total economic shambles and piece it back together again overnight. I never thought Obama was going to be "christ-like"..it took time to get in this mess and it will take time to get us out. All I'm saying is...dislike the policy don't dislike the man!1 I thought and still think that George Bush had some of the worst policies in American History...but I didn't think he blew up the levys in New Orleans!! I wonder if Obama's name were "Barrett Oliver" and he looked a bit more...WHITE...if the same hatred would exist?? Ponder that for a moment (the answer: HELL NO)...
I think I have done enough damage. I must admit...I feel better!!
Until next time my friends...
Friday, February 11, 2011
We Do Things Differently Around Here???
So I will start the blog off this morning by saying that I have many character flaws...one of which is "moodiness." And let's just say that today is not a good "mood" day!! I'm tired...and it is my fault...but I'm also intolerant and today everyone is getting on my freaking nerves. Which leads me into my "rant" of the day.
I was having a conversation with someone that I work with...and in the midst of our discussion he said "This is Alabama...we do things differently here!" What the hell does that even mean?? I have heard this sort of rhetoric my entire life and it has always irritated the crap out of me. And this is why...usually when that is stated it's normally in refernce to some bass-ackwards way of doing things...or a way to condemn someone else's mode of thought. Also...it is usually in reference to someone "liberal" or "progressive"...or more specifically...someone who would rather read a book than shoot somebody brown!!
Now...let's think about this for a second. I know that I will not be greeted with a warm reception with regard to this blog because I'm going to step on some toes...that being said...this is about honesty not about placating to the feelings of others. So if you are easily offended by people who think differently than you do...my best advice would be to stop reading now...
So...we do things differently around here. That ranks right up there with referring to people as "yankees" in my book (another absurd expression). If someone is from "the north" and they are disliked...the first thing you here from most southerners is "oh well..they are yankees...what do you expect." What a crock of shit!! I personally don't think a geographical position predisposes someone to being a "jerk." I think being a "jerk" is determined by...well...being a jerk!! I mean come on...has the south really cornered the market on "nice." Let's take a walk down memory lane..shall we...
In Alabama...where we do things differently remember...life is like a bowl of cherries!! We are number 49 in education (thanks Mississippi)!! We have a Governor who doesn't want to be your "brother" if you aren't a fan of Jesus. We'd rather watch millions of dollars leave the state than allow the "mafia-controlled" lottery to enter our borders. Less than 10 years ago...an ammendment to "legalize" interacial marriage BARELY PASSED with a statewide vote. And to top it all off...we elected a Supreme Court Chief Justice whose claim to fame is creating a 1200 pound granite sculpture of the Ten Commandments...just to make a point and challenge the "system." Yeah...we do things differently around here...that is unless you are living in 1846...then we are right in line with the status quo!!
Why do many southerners think that we are so much better than the rest of the world? It is unbelievable that there are still people who re-enact Civil War battles...and think that the South should have won the Civil War?? I mean...seriously...do they really think things would be better?? Man...owning people sure would be cool!! Oh yeah...and that whole Industrial Revolution thing...the one that began "up north"...way overrated!! I'm going to go on record and say this now...if the South had been victorious in the Civil War...the southern U.S. would be HAITI!! We would be impoverished, starving and even more riddled with ignorance than we are now...if that is even possible!!
I'm not saying the South is all bad...it isn't. There are aspects about our culture and way of life that I deeply cherish. However...to truly respect and revel in your own culture...you have to do the same for others!! Who the hell do we think we are!! 50 years ago...we were sicking dogs on people and turning hoses on them. Our Governor stood in a state college doorway...just to prevent young black people from getting an education. Is that in the past...of course...but sadly...so many people "mentally" are still there. How many times in my life have I heard "I'm not a racist but..."...if you start a sentence off that way...guess what...you are a racist!! There are plenty of things that culturally I don't understand...but that goes for whites, blacks, mexicans...whatever. I have too many quirks of my own to spend valuable time pointing out the mistakes and stupidity of others. Of course...I'm spending valuable time doing just that...right now!!
The next time you hear someone in Alabama say "we do things differently around here"...stop for a second and just ask...can you explain that?? See what they say. Maybe they will prove me wrong and put together a logical and well thought out response...but I have my doubts. I just wish would take the time and realize the world is a big place...and differences of opinion shouldn't create a self-imposed "isolationism." Hitler said it best "Keep the masses ignorant and hungry and you can rule the world." Just ask Sarah Palin...I'm pretty sure that is in her book somewhere...right next to pictures of her killing moose and throwing blood on someone at an abortion clinic (that was harsh...and I am positive that made some people mad)!! I'm not saying you have to agree with me on everything...in fact I don't expect MANY people to agree with me. I just wish there was someway to help people understand that things that are different...aren't to be feared. I don't want a world of James'...how boring and horrible would that be!! I like the fact that we live in a world of varying opinions and feelings. If you don't...there is a fast and easy solution...Dr. Kevorkian still has a few good years left. I'm sure he wouldn't mind dusting off the old "Adios 5000."
I have ranted enough for today...and I do apologize if anyone was grossly offended but unfortunately "we do things differently around here!!'
Until next time friends...
I was having a conversation with someone that I work with...and in the midst of our discussion he said "This is Alabama...we do things differently here!" What the hell does that even mean?? I have heard this sort of rhetoric my entire life and it has always irritated the crap out of me. And this is why...usually when that is stated it's normally in refernce to some bass-ackwards way of doing things...or a way to condemn someone else's mode of thought. Also...it is usually in reference to someone "liberal" or "progressive"...or more specifically...someone who would rather read a book than shoot somebody brown!!
Now...let's think about this for a second. I know that I will not be greeted with a warm reception with regard to this blog because I'm going to step on some toes...that being said...this is about honesty not about placating to the feelings of others. So if you are easily offended by people who think differently than you do...my best advice would be to stop reading now...
So...we do things differently around here. That ranks right up there with referring to people as "yankees" in my book (another absurd expression). If someone is from "the north" and they are disliked...the first thing you here from most southerners is "oh well..they are yankees...what do you expect." What a crock of shit!! I personally don't think a geographical position predisposes someone to being a "jerk." I think being a "jerk" is determined by...well...being a jerk!! I mean come on...has the south really cornered the market on "nice." Let's take a walk down memory lane..shall we...
In Alabama...where we do things differently remember...life is like a bowl of cherries!! We are number 49 in education (thanks Mississippi)!! We have a Governor who doesn't want to be your "brother" if you aren't a fan of Jesus. We'd rather watch millions of dollars leave the state than allow the "mafia-controlled" lottery to enter our borders. Less than 10 years ago...an ammendment to "legalize" interacial marriage BARELY PASSED with a statewide vote. And to top it all off...we elected a Supreme Court Chief Justice whose claim to fame is creating a 1200 pound granite sculpture of the Ten Commandments...just to make a point and challenge the "system." Yeah...we do things differently around here...that is unless you are living in 1846...then we are right in line with the status quo!!
Why do many southerners think that we are so much better than the rest of the world? It is unbelievable that there are still people who re-enact Civil War battles...and think that the South should have won the Civil War?? I mean...seriously...do they really think things would be better?? Man...owning people sure would be cool!! Oh yeah...and that whole Industrial Revolution thing...the one that began "up north"...way overrated!! I'm going to go on record and say this now...if the South had been victorious in the Civil War...the southern U.S. would be HAITI!! We would be impoverished, starving and even more riddled with ignorance than we are now...if that is even possible!!
I'm not saying the South is all bad...it isn't. There are aspects about our culture and way of life that I deeply cherish. However...to truly respect and revel in your own culture...you have to do the same for others!! Who the hell do we think we are!! 50 years ago...we were sicking dogs on people and turning hoses on them. Our Governor stood in a state college doorway...just to prevent young black people from getting an education. Is that in the past...of course...but sadly...so many people "mentally" are still there. How many times in my life have I heard "I'm not a racist but..."...if you start a sentence off that way...guess what...you are a racist!! There are plenty of things that culturally I don't understand...but that goes for whites, blacks, mexicans...whatever. I have too many quirks of my own to spend valuable time pointing out the mistakes and stupidity of others. Of course...I'm spending valuable time doing just that...right now!!
The next time you hear someone in Alabama say "we do things differently around here"...stop for a second and just ask...can you explain that?? See what they say. Maybe they will prove me wrong and put together a logical and well thought out response...but I have my doubts. I just wish would take the time and realize the world is a big place...and differences of opinion shouldn't create a self-imposed "isolationism." Hitler said it best "Keep the masses ignorant and hungry and you can rule the world." Just ask Sarah Palin...I'm pretty sure that is in her book somewhere...right next to pictures of her killing moose and throwing blood on someone at an abortion clinic (that was harsh...and I am positive that made some people mad)!! I'm not saying you have to agree with me on everything...in fact I don't expect MANY people to agree with me. I just wish there was someway to help people understand that things that are different...aren't to be feared. I don't want a world of James'...how boring and horrible would that be!! I like the fact that we live in a world of varying opinions and feelings. If you don't...there is a fast and easy solution...Dr. Kevorkian still has a few good years left. I'm sure he wouldn't mind dusting off the old "Adios 5000."
I have ranted enough for today...and I do apologize if anyone was grossly offended but unfortunately "we do things differently around here!!'
Until next time friends...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Old Voices...New Thoughts
I have been so busy the last few days that I have shirked my "blogging" duties. I was actually going to skip again today until a "voice from the past" gave me a bit of last minute inspiration. So without further ado...here we go.
I used to despise all things FACEBOOK. I thought that it was a forum for stalkers and losers...for people that had no lives and therefore received great joy from the sadness and goings-on of others like themselves. Well..now I am one of those stalkers and losers!! I have to see that FACEBOOK while entertaining in a cleanly, voyeuristic way...has allowed me to reconnect with dozens of people that I haven't spoken to in years. For this...I say "thank you" Mark Zuckerberg!! While it nauseates me that a person 6 years younger than me is a billionaire...I salute you for your ingenuity and brilliance. Without you...how else I can find out how many of my peers are far more successful...or be re-introduced to pictures of myself when I actually had a singular chin!! Either way...it is a daily journey and I truly am addicted!!
There is something very comforting about being a 32-year-old, flawed, married man with a baby soon to come...who can talk with people who knew me at my darkest. I can't explain it nor will I attempt to...but I guess it reminds me how far I've come. I have hurt so many people in my life. Many directly...but many more indirectly. I have gone through so many stages and transitions...and while I feel that I am still evolving...I wouldn't recognize that person that I used to be.
Throughout my life...I have always had the support of incredible friends and loved ones. While I rarely heeded the advice..it was not lost or falling on deaf ears. Life takes us down many different paths...and while sometimes things don't workout the way we think they should...in the end...God has a plan. I am so blessed to have been touched, loved and to have loved...some amazing people in this life. I am blessed to walk everyday with theiur indellible footprint on my soul. I guess the older you get...the more you think about those times and moments. Many of these moments were taken for granted at the time...but yet still linger in our mind's eye.
While there are so many things that I truly wish I had done differently...I have no regrets. My life has been an adventure and a journey...mixed with hysterical laughter and at times devastating sadness. Through it all...I sit here today...feeling nostalgic and blesses to be able to hear the sounds of those "Old Voices"...once again. As I prepare to welcome my little girl into the world...I just hope that when she is my age...she can look back on the trials of youth, the tragedy of being a teenager, the tumult of her 20's...and smile comfortably and confidently...for those "Old Voices" never truly go away...they are simply redistributed into "New Thoughts."
Until next time friends...I truly love you all
I used to despise all things FACEBOOK. I thought that it was a forum for stalkers and losers...for people that had no lives and therefore received great joy from the sadness and goings-on of others like themselves. Well..now I am one of those stalkers and losers!! I have to see that FACEBOOK while entertaining in a cleanly, voyeuristic way...has allowed me to reconnect with dozens of people that I haven't spoken to in years. For this...I say "thank you" Mark Zuckerberg!! While it nauseates me that a person 6 years younger than me is a billionaire...I salute you for your ingenuity and brilliance. Without you...how else I can find out how many of my peers are far more successful...or be re-introduced to pictures of myself when I actually had a singular chin!! Either way...it is a daily journey and I truly am addicted!!
There is something very comforting about being a 32-year-old, flawed, married man with a baby soon to come...who can talk with people who knew me at my darkest. I can't explain it nor will I attempt to...but I guess it reminds me how far I've come. I have hurt so many people in my life. Many directly...but many more indirectly. I have gone through so many stages and transitions...and while I feel that I am still evolving...I wouldn't recognize that person that I used to be.
Throughout my life...I have always had the support of incredible friends and loved ones. While I rarely heeded the advice..it was not lost or falling on deaf ears. Life takes us down many different paths...and while sometimes things don't workout the way we think they should...in the end...God has a plan. I am so blessed to have been touched, loved and to have loved...some amazing people in this life. I am blessed to walk everyday with theiur indellible footprint on my soul. I guess the older you get...the more you think about those times and moments. Many of these moments were taken for granted at the time...but yet still linger in our mind's eye.
While there are so many things that I truly wish I had done differently...I have no regrets. My life has been an adventure and a journey...mixed with hysterical laughter and at times devastating sadness. Through it all...I sit here today...feeling nostalgic and blesses to be able to hear the sounds of those "Old Voices"...once again. As I prepare to welcome my little girl into the world...I just hope that when she is my age...she can look back on the trials of youth, the tragedy of being a teenager, the tumult of her 20's...and smile comfortably and confidently...for those "Old Voices" never truly go away...they are simply redistributed into "New Thoughts."
Until next time friends...I truly love you all
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
REVISIONIST HISTORY...
It has been several days since my last blog and I have realized something...I am really enjoying taking 15-20 minutes everyday to write down those thoughts that are weighing heavily on my mind. If only I had the same zeal for exercise and working out as I do for sitting on my butt and writing down my various thoughts and feelings!! But hey...has anyone ever really accomplished anything from physical fitness?? I mean...other than professional athletes, olympians, body builders...do people really make millions of dollars due to their bodies being in ideal physical condition? Upon further review...that was a terrible analogy!! Oh well...I guess my dreams of vast wealth and overall monetary comfort must be firmly affixed to the hoped and dreams that someday...some of my innane BS via the written or spoken word...might actually catapult me into that proverbial "dream job." Until then...I remain bored, poor and hopefully at least...creative!!
I have thought a lot over the weekend about a phenomenon that most would call "revisionist history." What do I mean by this and why is it the topic of a blog?? I am so glad that you asked!! How or why is it that people can essentially "create" or "manifest" their own memories appropriate to their respective situations. For example...how can an abused child or a physically tormented wife...create a world where none of these things ever happened?? How can you block-out or selectively forget all of the evils that certain people perpetrated upon you in life? It is an occurrence that is not "uncommon" if you truly allow yourself to think about it.
I can't tell you how many people that I know and/or are related to...who have chosen to "block out" trauma in order to live a "pretend life" or to essentially...invent their own recollections of what has transpired throughout their lives. Now many of these people have complete knowledge of what happened and have more or less chosen to "forgive and forget." However...several others exist everyday with their heads buried deeply and firmly in the sands of "make believe."
There is something "healthy" about learning to let go of your past...believe me...I am living proof of this. In fact...it is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. However...in my humble opinion...there is also something to be said for "dealing with your past" and accepting and addressing these things which regardless of how hard we attempt to fight them...shape who we are as people and ultimately PARENTS!!
There can be no greater disservice to a child, spouse or family...then refusing to acknowledge our own personal dysfunction...whether this is the result of a tumultuous family unit or by personal downfalls, shortcomings or mistakes. I have always said that dysfucntion runs rampant in us all. There is NO such thing as NORMAL...quite frankly...NORMAL like BEAUTY is "in the eye of the beholder." That being said...it are those people who REFUSE to accept their abnormalities and faults that frighten me. If you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, or across the table at your spouse, or your son/daughter as they leave the driveway for college...and your first thought is "what a great job I've down"..."we have a PERFECT family"...chances are you have made even bigger mistakes than the average person. I'm not saying that we can't strive for something special...to be great parents, husbands, wives, etc...but inevitably we are human and we are flawed. I live with the scars of a painful childhood and parents who quite frankly...should never have been married. I also see people who live with the scars of their own pain, insecurity and emotional emptiness...who come from so-called " normal families." The problem is...far too many people feel that it is more important to act NORMAL than to be PEOPLE!! Mistakes will happen...people hurt each other...and people make mistakes...but why is it so hard for people to accept that responsibility and take "ownership?"
If you are insecure, neurotic, obsessive compulsive, needy, moody, intense, impatient, ACCEPT it!! I used these descriptors because I AM all of these things!! I know it...my family knows it and my wife sure as hell knows it!! Do I strive everyday to improve on many of these aspects...of course...but the reality is...it's hard!! We are hard wired to be who and what we are...that is why experts say "Don't marry someone that you think you can CHANGE". Why...cause it won't happen. Instead of being a freak show..and pretending like you aren't...talk to those you love and have dialogue about yourself. There is nothing more hurtful and freeing at the same time...than opening yourself up to the critiques of others. Don't be afraid to listen...try and understand what perception others have of you.Chance are..at will likely not be as good or bad as you might have previously thought. Fon't "reinvent" your history...just remember history is and will always be written by the WINNERS. There is always a different perspective...don't be afraid to stop and find out exactly what that might be.
One of my biggest complaints about "revisionist history" is the fact that it is most prevealent...in death. How many times have you seen a person reviled, despised and disgraced in life...but in death somehow those past transgressions are forgotten or at best ignored. There is one reality in this life...and that is none of us will escape it ALIVE!! To quote Marc Antony (no...not the Latino musical superstar and husband to JLo)..."The evils that men do lives after them and is oft interred in their bones." Our legacy..is our legacy...and once we are dead...that doesn't change. My Dad had a saying that was harsh but very true..."If you are a son of a bitch alive...you are still a son of a bitch...dead." I'm not saying that death shouldn't bring about a certain reverance and civility...but come on...dying is a constant...it shouldn't necessitate "martyrdom" and "sainthood" just because that person lost a battle that guess what...WE ALL WILL LOSE!!
I have had 2 truly great yet horrifically bittersweet honors in my life. I was able to eulogize both my Mother and my Father. In both of their eulogies...I tried to accentuate the imperfections and failures of them both. Did that change the fact that they were my parents and I loved them...of course not!! My mother struggled with drug addiction...for most of my life. She accepted the fact that she was an addict...she sought help numerous times...and she acknowledged how much hurt and pain that resulted from her actions. My mother never tried to hide this struggle.It wasn't a Scarlet letter that would induce the anger and venom of society upon her public appearance. Was she ashamed and deeply tormented by this disease..of course...was she embarrased...always...but she never ran from who or what she was. She fell off the wagon many times...but eventually...usually with the support of her friends and family...she got right back up and lived to fight another day. It would have done my mother and all those involved a great disservice...had her struggles not been mentioned as a defining aspect of her life. Not as a failure...but as a triumph...not as an example of a horrible person...but as a public service announcement to the millions of families that are devastated by addiction everyday.
My mother was the most important person in my life...she was my best friend...my confidant...the person who never turned her back on me...however during her times of struggle...I couldn't carry on a conversation with her. I resented her..and I hated the DISEASE. My father was a brilliant man...who understood the needs and wants of people. He was politically a "savant" who could predict elections better than any National Adviser that I have seen to date. Yet he was an insecure, bitter, angry child who never escaped his own chains. He loved me the best way that he knew how...but he left my Mother an abandoned, emotional wreck. They are both dead...I loved them both...but that is who they were!! I won't live my life and share with Ella Giles the "rose colored" stories of the grandparents that she never knew. She will know all about her Lane Lane's struggles...so she can understand the power of addiction and quite frankly that the propensity flows through her veins. She will hear how distant her grandfather was at times...but how he inspired her father to always have courage and to never relent in a desire and hunger for knowledge. But most of all...she will feel the love and strength of both of them...as I spend the rest of my life filling in the gaps that perhaps I missed out on.
The bottom line is...I don't want Ella Giles to ever tell her family history as a "fairy tale." Good or bad...she will grow up in a home where Mommy and Daddy are approachable...that there is NOTHING she can't talk to us about... and where religious, ethnic and sexually orientated judgement will NOT be tolerated. Our child will be raised in a spirit of "free thought" and "progression"...not closed mindedness and ignorance. Love your children...love your spuse..and love your familes. Accept them for who and what they are...but don't waste a lifetime trying to re-invent who and what you are.
So what if we don't all share the same religious theology. Who cares if someone is gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered or just confused. Big deal if we all see a different vision for our country...liberal, conservative, independent etc. Why should it matter if people choose to marry outside their race...or their children have bits and pieces of multiple cultures within them. It seems that of late...we are so focused on how WRONG everyone else is...that we have completely forgotten what is RIGHT!! Humanity is RIGHT, Unconditional Love is RIGHT, Communication/Dialogue is RIGHT and Honesty is RIGHT!!
Let's talk to one another...learn from one another...and who knows...maybe one day...once and for all...our respective history's will properly write themselves. As a dedication to my Mother I leave you all with this...
God grant me the Serenity...
to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Until next time friends...
I have thought a lot over the weekend about a phenomenon that most would call "revisionist history." What do I mean by this and why is it the topic of a blog?? I am so glad that you asked!! How or why is it that people can essentially "create" or "manifest" their own memories appropriate to their respective situations. For example...how can an abused child or a physically tormented wife...create a world where none of these things ever happened?? How can you block-out or selectively forget all of the evils that certain people perpetrated upon you in life? It is an occurrence that is not "uncommon" if you truly allow yourself to think about it.
I can't tell you how many people that I know and/or are related to...who have chosen to "block out" trauma in order to live a "pretend life" or to essentially...invent their own recollections of what has transpired throughout their lives. Now many of these people have complete knowledge of what happened and have more or less chosen to "forgive and forget." However...several others exist everyday with their heads buried deeply and firmly in the sands of "make believe."
There is something "healthy" about learning to let go of your past...believe me...I am living proof of this. In fact...it is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. However...in my humble opinion...there is also something to be said for "dealing with your past" and accepting and addressing these things which regardless of how hard we attempt to fight them...shape who we are as people and ultimately PARENTS!!
There can be no greater disservice to a child, spouse or family...then refusing to acknowledge our own personal dysfunction...whether this is the result of a tumultuous family unit or by personal downfalls, shortcomings or mistakes. I have always said that dysfucntion runs rampant in us all. There is NO such thing as NORMAL...quite frankly...NORMAL like BEAUTY is "in the eye of the beholder." That being said...it are those people who REFUSE to accept their abnormalities and faults that frighten me. If you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, or across the table at your spouse, or your son/daughter as they leave the driveway for college...and your first thought is "what a great job I've down"..."we have a PERFECT family"...chances are you have made even bigger mistakes than the average person. I'm not saying that we can't strive for something special...to be great parents, husbands, wives, etc...but inevitably we are human and we are flawed. I live with the scars of a painful childhood and parents who quite frankly...should never have been married. I also see people who live with the scars of their own pain, insecurity and emotional emptiness...who come from so-called " normal families." The problem is...far too many people feel that it is more important to act NORMAL than to be PEOPLE!! Mistakes will happen...people hurt each other...and people make mistakes...but why is it so hard for people to accept that responsibility and take "ownership?"
If you are insecure, neurotic, obsessive compulsive, needy, moody, intense, impatient, ACCEPT it!! I used these descriptors because I AM all of these things!! I know it...my family knows it and my wife sure as hell knows it!! Do I strive everyday to improve on many of these aspects...of course...but the reality is...it's hard!! We are hard wired to be who and what we are...that is why experts say "Don't marry someone that you think you can CHANGE". Why...cause it won't happen. Instead of being a freak show..and pretending like you aren't...talk to those you love and have dialogue about yourself. There is nothing more hurtful and freeing at the same time...than opening yourself up to the critiques of others. Don't be afraid to listen...try and understand what perception others have of you.Chance are..at will likely not be as good or bad as you might have previously thought. Fon't "reinvent" your history...just remember history is and will always be written by the WINNERS. There is always a different perspective...don't be afraid to stop and find out exactly what that might be.
One of my biggest complaints about "revisionist history" is the fact that it is most prevealent...in death. How many times have you seen a person reviled, despised and disgraced in life...but in death somehow those past transgressions are forgotten or at best ignored. There is one reality in this life...and that is none of us will escape it ALIVE!! To quote Marc Antony (no...not the Latino musical superstar and husband to JLo)..."The evils that men do lives after them and is oft interred in their bones." Our legacy..is our legacy...and once we are dead...that doesn't change. My Dad had a saying that was harsh but very true..."If you are a son of a bitch alive...you are still a son of a bitch...dead." I'm not saying that death shouldn't bring about a certain reverance and civility...but come on...dying is a constant...it shouldn't necessitate "martyrdom" and "sainthood" just because that person lost a battle that guess what...WE ALL WILL LOSE!!
I have had 2 truly great yet horrifically bittersweet honors in my life. I was able to eulogize both my Mother and my Father. In both of their eulogies...I tried to accentuate the imperfections and failures of them both. Did that change the fact that they were my parents and I loved them...of course not!! My mother struggled with drug addiction...for most of my life. She accepted the fact that she was an addict...she sought help numerous times...and she acknowledged how much hurt and pain that resulted from her actions. My mother never tried to hide this struggle.It wasn't a Scarlet letter that would induce the anger and venom of society upon her public appearance. Was she ashamed and deeply tormented by this disease..of course...was she embarrased...always...but she never ran from who or what she was. She fell off the wagon many times...but eventually...usually with the support of her friends and family...she got right back up and lived to fight another day. It would have done my mother and all those involved a great disservice...had her struggles not been mentioned as a defining aspect of her life. Not as a failure...but as a triumph...not as an example of a horrible person...but as a public service announcement to the millions of families that are devastated by addiction everyday.
My mother was the most important person in my life...she was my best friend...my confidant...the person who never turned her back on me...however during her times of struggle...I couldn't carry on a conversation with her. I resented her..and I hated the DISEASE. My father was a brilliant man...who understood the needs and wants of people. He was politically a "savant" who could predict elections better than any National Adviser that I have seen to date. Yet he was an insecure, bitter, angry child who never escaped his own chains. He loved me the best way that he knew how...but he left my Mother an abandoned, emotional wreck. They are both dead...I loved them both...but that is who they were!! I won't live my life and share with Ella Giles the "rose colored" stories of the grandparents that she never knew. She will know all about her Lane Lane's struggles...so she can understand the power of addiction and quite frankly that the propensity flows through her veins. She will hear how distant her grandfather was at times...but how he inspired her father to always have courage and to never relent in a desire and hunger for knowledge. But most of all...she will feel the love and strength of both of them...as I spend the rest of my life filling in the gaps that perhaps I missed out on.
The bottom line is...I don't want Ella Giles to ever tell her family history as a "fairy tale." Good or bad...she will grow up in a home where Mommy and Daddy are approachable...that there is NOTHING she can't talk to us about... and where religious, ethnic and sexually orientated judgement will NOT be tolerated. Our child will be raised in a spirit of "free thought" and "progression"...not closed mindedness and ignorance. Love your children...love your spuse..and love your familes. Accept them for who and what they are...but don't waste a lifetime trying to re-invent who and what you are.
So what if we don't all share the same religious theology. Who cares if someone is gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered or just confused. Big deal if we all see a different vision for our country...liberal, conservative, independent etc. Why should it matter if people choose to marry outside their race...or their children have bits and pieces of multiple cultures within them. It seems that of late...we are so focused on how WRONG everyone else is...that we have completely forgotten what is RIGHT!! Humanity is RIGHT, Unconditional Love is RIGHT, Communication/Dialogue is RIGHT and Honesty is RIGHT!!
Let's talk to one another...learn from one another...and who knows...maybe one day...once and for all...our respective history's will properly write themselves. As a dedication to my Mother I leave you all with this...
God grant me the Serenity...
to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Until next time friends...
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Evils of College Football Recruiting...
I was in the shower this morning thinking about what would be on my mind this morning that I could blog about...or in this case...bitch about!! Considering that beginning yesterday morning...like so many other college football fans...I have been glued to the ever changing and unfolding events of that separate Football Season known as "National Signing Day...this decision was easy to make. While my last blog post was somewhat melodramatic and heartfelt...this one is more of a social commentary.
Let me preface this by saying...this is not an opportunity to jump on my "Auburn" high horse or to bash our rivals. This blog is about the state of Football Recruiting and the reactions from ALL fan bases. So...before anyone gets bent out of shape expecting this to be a "I hate Alabama and their Fans" blog...you can rest easy. While that previous statement is true...I won't be broaching that subject today!!
The two biggest problems that I see in Football Recruiting are very simple...1) The grandstanding and "hey look at me" attitude that the media has promoted within the lives of KIDS... and 2) The horrific reactions by fans to the decisions of these KIDS...
To me...the way in which National Signing Day is handled and presented is both appalling and disgusting. No longer is it a great honor for a kid to be asked to play for a storied University...now somehow it should be a great honor to a UNIVERSITY that a KID wants to play for them. Like so many things that are wrong with our society...a sense of entitlement is destroying football. These kids are pampered, babied, wined, dined and let's face it...PAID...as if they are the second coming of Christ. I'm in no way taking away from the talent of these young people...and just like every other fan...I want to see Auburn land the "big fish"...but not at the expense of what a University is supposed to stand for. You can't put a price on integrity...and in my estimation...integrity and dignity are being OUTSOURCED....more and more each day.
Noone should have to BEG a kid to play football at their school. I realize that this is a massive, life changing decision for them...one that shouldn't be taken lightly. However...ultimately...one thing is simple...if you don't want to come to Auburn, Alabama, etc. then they shouldn't want you there!! I don't mean that in a rude or angry way...I just mean that if a kid says "I commit to School A...then School B should say "Best of luck...wish you could have been part of what we are creating"...then MOVE ON!! The entire system promotes an "I" mentality and a sense that "stars" in front of a kids name...somehow equates to success. It is all so absurd that it is laughable. Yet nothing will change because...guess what...as I sit here bitching and moaning about the flawed system...I was participating in the ratings for all media entities yesterday. I was eating up every morsel of it...while some of it made me sick...I never turned away. Guys holding up puppies to signify their allegiance...tear away jump suits to reveal team colors underneath...catch phrases on hats...the old hat "switcheroo" which has become increasingly popular...I never missed a second. So...until myself and all the other people that are so annoyed by all of this "stop the insanity"...a recruit parachuting onto the field of his selected school should be coming soon!!
While all of that makes me mad enough to choke a kitten...it doesn't compare to what I think about the reactions by so-called fans...most of whom are adults...to the decisions of these KIDS!! The things that I read yesterday by Auburn fans and Alabama fans about Brent Calloway and now...Cyrus Kouandjio...were reprehensible at best. "Benedict Arnold", "Turncoat", "Failure", and these were the nice things!! Let me be as clear and succinct as I can be on this issue: If you spend one second denegrating a 17 or 18 year old KID based on their decision as to where they will play football...you are a complete, lowlife, waste of skin who should be blessed that God continues to allow your lungs to fill up with air!! Is that too harsh...not even close!! These people are the lowest common denominator and unfortunately I work with and have to encounter these types of people EVERYDAY!!
And here is where I am going to offend people...but quite frankly I could care less. Most of the people screaming the loudest, being the meanest and getting worked up over nothing...HAVE NEVER TAKEN SO MUCH AS A CLASS AT EITHER SCHOOL!! These "volunteer alumni" as I like to call them...are an embarrasment to those of us who like to think our college allegiance is about a little more than buying a t-shirt at Hal's Flea Market and Gun Imporium!!
Please understand...I'm not saying that you HAVE to be an alumnist to be a fan...what I am saying is that for some of us...screaming "War Eagle" or "Roll Tide" means something bigger. It is the first time we entered that stadium and sat in the student section...we never sat down but it didn't matter...we weren't tired!! It's those sleepless, lonely first weeks in college...when the nights got so long that you just had to get in your car and drive. Somehow that car just steered itself to the middle of campus...as you put it in park...you couldn't help but to glare in awe at this massive embodiment of history that your team calls home. Suddenly all of that loneliness and fear subsided for a moment because you were living your dream and that made you proud. It's about standing up in your chair at a local bar on the eve of one of your biggest rivalry's and leading the entire room in your fight song (yes...I did that!!) It's walking across that stage...and having your college President hand you a diploma...and knowing that noone could ever take that away from you!! But better yet...it's going HOME again...with your wife, children, family etc...placing that Alumni pin on your lapel and knowing that for the rest of your life...you will be part of something bigger than yourself. In the stands...walking down the street...in the grocery store...at church...you never get tired of hearing those words...in my case..."WAR EAGLE." And every morning that I wake and every night that my head hits the pillow...I know that it is ALWAYS great to be an Auburn Tiger and always will be. I have no doubt that it is the same for Alabama alumnists. So please be a fan...support your team...have all the loyalty in the world...but the next time you start running your mouth to say something ignorant and inflammatory...just stop yourself and ask one question "What does being a fan of my team REALLY mean?" or better yet..."What SHOULD it mean?" Just remember...there are people out there that ARE Auburn and Alabama. We don't live FOR our schools...our schools live IN us!!
I hope these recruits will recognize that as well. They are gifted athletes...or they wouldn't be where they are. I just hope...as they run out of that respective tunnel for the first time... that they know they are trodding on hallowed ground!! You guys are folling the footsteps of Jackson, Sullivan, Rocker, Smith, Williams, Newton and Fairley. You will walk in the shadows of Namath, Starr, Teague, Alexander, Muso and Bryant. These hallowed halls were whispering the names of legends long before you kids were ever thought about...and they will continue to do so long after we are all dead and gone. Listen to those whispers...be filled with humility and at the end of the day...you can be part of a new legend and you too can write your name in the history books!!
Until next time friends...
Let me preface this by saying...this is not an opportunity to jump on my "Auburn" high horse or to bash our rivals. This blog is about the state of Football Recruiting and the reactions from ALL fan bases. So...before anyone gets bent out of shape expecting this to be a "I hate Alabama and their Fans" blog...you can rest easy. While that previous statement is true...I won't be broaching that subject today!!
The two biggest problems that I see in Football Recruiting are very simple...1) The grandstanding and "hey look at me" attitude that the media has promoted within the lives of KIDS... and 2) The horrific reactions by fans to the decisions of these KIDS...
To me...the way in which National Signing Day is handled and presented is both appalling and disgusting. No longer is it a great honor for a kid to be asked to play for a storied University...now somehow it should be a great honor to a UNIVERSITY that a KID wants to play for them. Like so many things that are wrong with our society...a sense of entitlement is destroying football. These kids are pampered, babied, wined, dined and let's face it...PAID...as if they are the second coming of Christ. I'm in no way taking away from the talent of these young people...and just like every other fan...I want to see Auburn land the "big fish"...but not at the expense of what a University is supposed to stand for. You can't put a price on integrity...and in my estimation...integrity and dignity are being OUTSOURCED....more and more each day.
Noone should have to BEG a kid to play football at their school. I realize that this is a massive, life changing decision for them...one that shouldn't be taken lightly. However...ultimately...one thing is simple...if you don't want to come to Auburn, Alabama, etc. then they shouldn't want you there!! I don't mean that in a rude or angry way...I just mean that if a kid says "I commit to School A...then School B should say "Best of luck...wish you could have been part of what we are creating"...then MOVE ON!! The entire system promotes an "I" mentality and a sense that "stars" in front of a kids name...somehow equates to success. It is all so absurd that it is laughable. Yet nothing will change because...guess what...as I sit here bitching and moaning about the flawed system...I was participating in the ratings for all media entities yesterday. I was eating up every morsel of it...while some of it made me sick...I never turned away. Guys holding up puppies to signify their allegiance...tear away jump suits to reveal team colors underneath...catch phrases on hats...the old hat "switcheroo" which has become increasingly popular...I never missed a second. So...until myself and all the other people that are so annoyed by all of this "stop the insanity"...a recruit parachuting onto the field of his selected school should be coming soon!!
While all of that makes me mad enough to choke a kitten...it doesn't compare to what I think about the reactions by so-called fans...most of whom are adults...to the decisions of these KIDS!! The things that I read yesterday by Auburn fans and Alabama fans about Brent Calloway and now...Cyrus Kouandjio...were reprehensible at best. "Benedict Arnold", "Turncoat", "Failure", and these were the nice things!! Let me be as clear and succinct as I can be on this issue: If you spend one second denegrating a 17 or 18 year old KID based on their decision as to where they will play football...you are a complete, lowlife, waste of skin who should be blessed that God continues to allow your lungs to fill up with air!! Is that too harsh...not even close!! These people are the lowest common denominator and unfortunately I work with and have to encounter these types of people EVERYDAY!!
And here is where I am going to offend people...but quite frankly I could care less. Most of the people screaming the loudest, being the meanest and getting worked up over nothing...HAVE NEVER TAKEN SO MUCH AS A CLASS AT EITHER SCHOOL!! These "volunteer alumni" as I like to call them...are an embarrasment to those of us who like to think our college allegiance is about a little more than buying a t-shirt at Hal's Flea Market and Gun Imporium!!
Please understand...I'm not saying that you HAVE to be an alumnist to be a fan...what I am saying is that for some of us...screaming "War Eagle" or "Roll Tide" means something bigger. It is the first time we entered that stadium and sat in the student section...we never sat down but it didn't matter...we weren't tired!! It's those sleepless, lonely first weeks in college...when the nights got so long that you just had to get in your car and drive. Somehow that car just steered itself to the middle of campus...as you put it in park...you couldn't help but to glare in awe at this massive embodiment of history that your team calls home. Suddenly all of that loneliness and fear subsided for a moment because you were living your dream and that made you proud. It's about standing up in your chair at a local bar on the eve of one of your biggest rivalry's and leading the entire room in your fight song (yes...I did that!!) It's walking across that stage...and having your college President hand you a diploma...and knowing that noone could ever take that away from you!! But better yet...it's going HOME again...with your wife, children, family etc...placing that Alumni pin on your lapel and knowing that for the rest of your life...you will be part of something bigger than yourself. In the stands...walking down the street...in the grocery store...at church...you never get tired of hearing those words...in my case..."WAR EAGLE." And every morning that I wake and every night that my head hits the pillow...I know that it is ALWAYS great to be an Auburn Tiger and always will be. I have no doubt that it is the same for Alabama alumnists. So please be a fan...support your team...have all the loyalty in the world...but the next time you start running your mouth to say something ignorant and inflammatory...just stop yourself and ask one question "What does being a fan of my team REALLY mean?" or better yet..."What SHOULD it mean?" Just remember...there are people out there that ARE Auburn and Alabama. We don't live FOR our schools...our schools live IN us!!
I hope these recruits will recognize that as well. They are gifted athletes...or they wouldn't be where they are. I just hope...as they run out of that respective tunnel for the first time... that they know they are trodding on hallowed ground!! You guys are folling the footsteps of Jackson, Sullivan, Rocker, Smith, Williams, Newton and Fairley. You will walk in the shadows of Namath, Starr, Teague, Alexander, Muso and Bryant. These hallowed halls were whispering the names of legends long before you kids were ever thought about...and they will continue to do so long after we are all dead and gone. Listen to those whispers...be filled with humility and at the end of the day...you can be part of a new legend and you too can write your name in the history books!!
Until next time friends...
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
To Be A Father...
It was very easy to start writing this morning...as this topic seems to lay heavier on my heart each and everyday. I am still in shock and am awed by the fact that I...James Burden...the guy who at one time could organize a massive drinking party in about 15 minutes...is going to be responsible for the molding and shaping of a young mind!! I guess it's true...God does have a sense of humor!!
For most of my life...the idea of having children was as foreign to me as George Bush being asked to join a "Think Tank!" The thought terrified me and to be honest...I really didn't think it would ever happen. My wife and I went through about 6 months of grueling fertility treatments until finally...it became too much of an emotional upheaval. Each month we would arrive at the clinic...and each month Erin would be massively disappointed. I say Erin...because the reality was...I was relieved. The amount of guilt that I lived with...knowing how badly the woman that I loved wanted a child and how badly I did not...was at times too much to bare. I never let her know my true feelings but somehow...I'm sure she was aware. I saw "a child" as not a life but as a supreme responsibility. When I thought of a baby...I envisioned a bottomless pit of financial crises, sleepless nights and overall loss of identity for myself. Basically...I was a completely selfish prick who couldn't bare the thought of living my life for someone else. My God...it was hard enough being married and living for a spouse...why the Hell would I want to sacrifice anymore for a child...
Following our failed fertility experiment...things went from bad to worse. Erin and I grew emotionally and physically distant...a distance that seemed to widen with the passing of each moment. Then in June...I received the most devastating news that I could have possibly imagined...I lost my beloved mother. My best friend was gone...I felt my marriage was collapsing beneath my feet...I hated my job...and desperately wanted to leave Demopolis...in short...I was one emotional hiccup away from a complete emotional breakdown.
The marital problems finally came to a head...and after many tears, late night discussions, soul searching and some professional therapy thrown in there...she and I cleared our greatest couple's hurdle to date. We began to communicate again...more openly...and tried not to spend one waking moment taking each other for granted. That part of my life had turned a corner...and the weight of the world seemed to lessen just a bit. For the first time in months...I could breathe again...the air wasn't completely clean and clear but the smog had certainly thinned a bit!!
Then it happened...the words that I never expected to hear and honestly...wasn't prepared for..."Happy Birthday Daddy...I'm pregnant!!" Happy Birthday because my birthday was right around the corner...the rest...I hope you can all use context clues to figure out!! I stood there...mouth gaped open....heart racing...and for a moment...my legs almost gave way. I didn't know what to say...or how to react...part of me wanted to throw myself in front of oncoming traffic and the other part of me wanted to grab Erin and never let go. Luckily...the latter prevailed...and I grabbed Erin and kissed her obnoxiously as we stood in the parking lot of a local "greasy spoon." Yes...I celebrated the child growing inside my wife with a public display of affection at "FARMHOUSE RESTAURANT." No champagne...no string music...just chicken fingers, okra and "nanner pudding." For the record...I was so excited...in shock..etc. that I walked out of the restaurant with a full plate on the table and I didn't pay!!
After Erin and I talked for a few minutes..I told her that I was going to take the afternoon off so that we could make the appropriate "friends and family" phone calls. We agreed to meet back at the house as I needed to let everyone know that I wouldn't be back at work. I kissed her..and she drove off. I jumped in the car...cranked it up and didn't so much have it in "Drive" when I was hit with a wave of emotion that almost blacked me out. I began to cry...and not just tear up..I mean ugly...just watched "Marley and Me" crying. I was heaving...and let me tell you...there is nothing pretty about a heaving, blubbering overweight thirty-something dude...coming unglued as he's driving down the highway. But I couldn't control it. All of this raw emotion began pouring out of me like a volcanic eruption. The death of my mother...our past marital problems...all my mistakes...all my triumphs...and now a pregnancy...the dam was breaking and the flood was here!!
Now comes the strange part...I was suddenly taken by a feeling that I had not felt in a very long time...PEACE. It was as if someone pulled me from an icy river and wrapped me in a very warm blanket. It was the kind of warmth and safety that I would feel as a child...sitting in the living room of my Grandmother's house in Demopolis. The smell of breakfast filling the morning air...a slight chill traveling throughout my body...then CeCe walking into the living room...coffee in hand...and wrapping me in her green robe. Let me tell you...this was the UGLIEST ITEM OF CLOTHING that a seamstress has ever created...but in those moments...it was like a force field of love...and I couldn't imagine being wrapped in anything else!! Once again...almost 25 years later...the blanket was back and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. My life had come full circle and I was OK with it. The pain of a dysfunctional family...the mistakes I had made in years past...the hurt I had caused...the hurt that I felt...the guilt that I never could shake...the fears..the sadness...in that instant...they were all gone!! I was going to be a Daddy...and oh my God...I was happy about it!!
I knew then as I know now that I didn't have to be afraid anymore. Noone is a perfect parent...we all know that. There are no User's Manual's for children and it will most certainly be a trial by fire. But at that moment...I knew that I would spend the rest of my existence...as long as I had breath...doing everything I could to give every ounce of my being to what we would later discover was a little girl. Ella Giles isn't even here yet...but I love her with all my heart!! My mother would always say that there was nothing like the love you have for a child...I never understood that until now!!
For so many years...I have longed to feel the warmth of CeCe's green robe during times of trial and tribulation. Who knew that a tiny, beating heart...a face that has yet to see the world...could wrap me in that blanket everytime it crosses my mind. My precious Ella Giles...we haven't met yet...but your Daddy already wants to thank you for making him a better man!! Until next time friends...
For most of my life...the idea of having children was as foreign to me as George Bush being asked to join a "Think Tank!" The thought terrified me and to be honest...I really didn't think it would ever happen. My wife and I went through about 6 months of grueling fertility treatments until finally...it became too much of an emotional upheaval. Each month we would arrive at the clinic...and each month Erin would be massively disappointed. I say Erin...because the reality was...I was relieved. The amount of guilt that I lived with...knowing how badly the woman that I loved wanted a child and how badly I did not...was at times too much to bare. I never let her know my true feelings but somehow...I'm sure she was aware. I saw "a child" as not a life but as a supreme responsibility. When I thought of a baby...I envisioned a bottomless pit of financial crises, sleepless nights and overall loss of identity for myself. Basically...I was a completely selfish prick who couldn't bare the thought of living my life for someone else. My God...it was hard enough being married and living for a spouse...why the Hell would I want to sacrifice anymore for a child...
Following our failed fertility experiment...things went from bad to worse. Erin and I grew emotionally and physically distant...a distance that seemed to widen with the passing of each moment. Then in June...I received the most devastating news that I could have possibly imagined...I lost my beloved mother. My best friend was gone...I felt my marriage was collapsing beneath my feet...I hated my job...and desperately wanted to leave Demopolis...in short...I was one emotional hiccup away from a complete emotional breakdown.
The marital problems finally came to a head...and after many tears, late night discussions, soul searching and some professional therapy thrown in there...she and I cleared our greatest couple's hurdle to date. We began to communicate again...more openly...and tried not to spend one waking moment taking each other for granted. That part of my life had turned a corner...and the weight of the world seemed to lessen just a bit. For the first time in months...I could breathe again...the air wasn't completely clean and clear but the smog had certainly thinned a bit!!
Then it happened...the words that I never expected to hear and honestly...wasn't prepared for..."Happy Birthday Daddy...I'm pregnant!!" Happy Birthday because my birthday was right around the corner...the rest...I hope you can all use context clues to figure out!! I stood there...mouth gaped open....heart racing...and for a moment...my legs almost gave way. I didn't know what to say...or how to react...part of me wanted to throw myself in front of oncoming traffic and the other part of me wanted to grab Erin and never let go. Luckily...the latter prevailed...and I grabbed Erin and kissed her obnoxiously as we stood in the parking lot of a local "greasy spoon." Yes...I celebrated the child growing inside my wife with a public display of affection at "FARMHOUSE RESTAURANT." No champagne...no string music...just chicken fingers, okra and "nanner pudding." For the record...I was so excited...in shock..etc. that I walked out of the restaurant with a full plate on the table and I didn't pay!!
After Erin and I talked for a few minutes..I told her that I was going to take the afternoon off so that we could make the appropriate "friends and family" phone calls. We agreed to meet back at the house as I needed to let everyone know that I wouldn't be back at work. I kissed her..and she drove off. I jumped in the car...cranked it up and didn't so much have it in "Drive" when I was hit with a wave of emotion that almost blacked me out. I began to cry...and not just tear up..I mean ugly...just watched "Marley and Me" crying. I was heaving...and let me tell you...there is nothing pretty about a heaving, blubbering overweight thirty-something dude...coming unglued as he's driving down the highway. But I couldn't control it. All of this raw emotion began pouring out of me like a volcanic eruption. The death of my mother...our past marital problems...all my mistakes...all my triumphs...and now a pregnancy...the dam was breaking and the flood was here!!
Now comes the strange part...I was suddenly taken by a feeling that I had not felt in a very long time...PEACE. It was as if someone pulled me from an icy river and wrapped me in a very warm blanket. It was the kind of warmth and safety that I would feel as a child...sitting in the living room of my Grandmother's house in Demopolis. The smell of breakfast filling the morning air...a slight chill traveling throughout my body...then CeCe walking into the living room...coffee in hand...and wrapping me in her green robe. Let me tell you...this was the UGLIEST ITEM OF CLOTHING that a seamstress has ever created...but in those moments...it was like a force field of love...and I couldn't imagine being wrapped in anything else!! Once again...almost 25 years later...the blanket was back and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. My life had come full circle and I was OK with it. The pain of a dysfunctional family...the mistakes I had made in years past...the hurt I had caused...the hurt that I felt...the guilt that I never could shake...the fears..the sadness...in that instant...they were all gone!! I was going to be a Daddy...and oh my God...I was happy about it!!
I knew then as I know now that I didn't have to be afraid anymore. Noone is a perfect parent...we all know that. There are no User's Manual's for children and it will most certainly be a trial by fire. But at that moment...I knew that I would spend the rest of my existence...as long as I had breath...doing everything I could to give every ounce of my being to what we would later discover was a little girl. Ella Giles isn't even here yet...but I love her with all my heart!! My mother would always say that there was nothing like the love you have for a child...I never understood that until now!!
For so many years...I have longed to feel the warmth of CeCe's green robe during times of trial and tribulation. Who knew that a tiny, beating heart...a face that has yet to see the world...could wrap me in that blanket everytime it crosses my mind. My precious Ella Giles...we haven't met yet...but your Daddy already wants to thank you for making him a better man!! Until next time friends...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
TIME...
So...I woke up bright and early this morning...prior to 6:00 a.m....which blows and always will!! I have never understood this concept of getting up at the ass-crack of dawn and being excited and chipper about it?? There are PLENTY of hours in the day to get everything done that you require without having to live like a Pioneer!!
I guess this is one of the primary reasons that I will never be a hunter...this and of course my complete lack of interest in "killing." Understand...I'm not against hunting...I realize that it is a necessary evil. That being said you will NEVER catch me up at 4:00 in the morning...covering myself in camouflage and animal urine...so that I can track down a beautiful creature and end its life. If I am going to kill anything or anybody...it would need to occur after 10 a.m!! Murder has always and should always remain an "evening event."
Even as a kid...I hated getting up early. I get that from my Mother...she was a night owl. My father on the other hand was "early to bed and early to rise." That brings me to a personal observation. In my entire life...all of the people that I have ever known who were "morning people" were both incredibly moody and had the propensity to be major bastards!! I can't help but think there is a direct corrolation between these two ideas. Seriously...think about all of the people you know who just LOVE the morning and then cross reference how many times they have irritated the hell out of you. The defense rests your honor...
It has always astounded me how elderly people tend to awaken obnoxiously early. I understand the concept that if you are living on borrowed time...then you would like to make the most of that time as possible. That being said...most elderly people that I know...get up obnoxiously early to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! In addition...they drive ridiculously slow. Why is that?? They are running out of time...so shouldn't they be in a hurry. I like to think that when I am old...people will fear me when they see me heading down the street. Women and children screaming and diving for safety...people shielding their pets...store keepers removing any damageable goods from the sidewalk...that is how I envision old age. It should be about wreckless abandon...I mean if you are in your 80's...you have already beaten the odds...just throw caution to the wind PAW PAW!!
It's the same with Handicapped people. Think back on how many times you have seen a handicapped tag on a vehicle that is driving 15 miles per hour. If your entire life involved difficulty getting around and overall being slow...wouldn't the chance to blaze a fiery path straight to hell be on your agenda 24-7!! Maybe I'm just warped...let me rephrase that...I am very warped...just hoping there are a few people out there who share my sentiment!!
The bottom line is this...time is a constant. Whether you get up at 5:00 a.m. or 12:00 p.m...everything is relative. We all have 24 hours in a day...60 minutes in an hour...60 seconds in a minute...etc. How we get there isn't important...it's IF we get there!! As long as you are achieving what you need to achieve...the when shouldn't matter. I realize that we are all constrained by schedules and job requirements...that is another story. We all must "render unto Caesar"...however...if we all spent less TIME worrying about TIME...we'd have much more to spend!!
I'm not suggesting that everyone live their life like me...sleeping in, driving fast and keeping late hours...what I am suggesting is that LIFE...just like TIME...will go on regardless of our approach to it. They are both wild animals which can never be tamed nor domesticated...so just stop trying so hard!! You get up early...you go to bed early...you miss out on the night. Inversely...you get up late...and go to bed late...you miss out on the morning. But if TIME is all you think of...you are missing out on EVERYTHING!!
Until next time friends....
I guess this is one of the primary reasons that I will never be a hunter...this and of course my complete lack of interest in "killing." Understand...I'm not against hunting...I realize that it is a necessary evil. That being said you will NEVER catch me up at 4:00 in the morning...covering myself in camouflage and animal urine...so that I can track down a beautiful creature and end its life. If I am going to kill anything or anybody...it would need to occur after 10 a.m!! Murder has always and should always remain an "evening event."
Even as a kid...I hated getting up early. I get that from my Mother...she was a night owl. My father on the other hand was "early to bed and early to rise." That brings me to a personal observation. In my entire life...all of the people that I have ever known who were "morning people" were both incredibly moody and had the propensity to be major bastards!! I can't help but think there is a direct corrolation between these two ideas. Seriously...think about all of the people you know who just LOVE the morning and then cross reference how many times they have irritated the hell out of you. The defense rests your honor...
It has always astounded me how elderly people tend to awaken obnoxiously early. I understand the concept that if you are living on borrowed time...then you would like to make the most of that time as possible. That being said...most elderly people that I know...get up obnoxiously early to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! In addition...they drive ridiculously slow. Why is that?? They are running out of time...so shouldn't they be in a hurry. I like to think that when I am old...people will fear me when they see me heading down the street. Women and children screaming and diving for safety...people shielding their pets...store keepers removing any damageable goods from the sidewalk...that is how I envision old age. It should be about wreckless abandon...I mean if you are in your 80's...you have already beaten the odds...just throw caution to the wind PAW PAW!!
It's the same with Handicapped people. Think back on how many times you have seen a handicapped tag on a vehicle that is driving 15 miles per hour. If your entire life involved difficulty getting around and overall being slow...wouldn't the chance to blaze a fiery path straight to hell be on your agenda 24-7!! Maybe I'm just warped...let me rephrase that...I am very warped...just hoping there are a few people out there who share my sentiment!!
The bottom line is this...time is a constant. Whether you get up at 5:00 a.m. or 12:00 p.m...everything is relative. We all have 24 hours in a day...60 minutes in an hour...60 seconds in a minute...etc. How we get there isn't important...it's IF we get there!! As long as you are achieving what you need to achieve...the when shouldn't matter. I realize that we are all constrained by schedules and job requirements...that is another story. We all must "render unto Caesar"...however...if we all spent less TIME worrying about TIME...we'd have much more to spend!!
I'm not suggesting that everyone live their life like me...sleeping in, driving fast and keeping late hours...what I am suggesting is that LIFE...just like TIME...will go on regardless of our approach to it. They are both wild animals which can never be tamed nor domesticated...so just stop trying so hard!! You get up early...you go to bed early...you miss out on the night. Inversely...you get up late...and go to bed late...you miss out on the morning. But if TIME is all you think of...you are missing out on EVERYTHING!!
Until next time friends....
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