I will try and keep this short and sweet...though as most of you know "brevity" is not my strong suit.
The past two years have been nothing short of a "Roller Coaster" ride for Erin and I. The loss of my beloved Mother in June of 2010 left me hollow and miserable. This... coupled with several other issues... led Erin and I into deep marital disharmony. I must admit that I came close to making what would have been the most catastrophic decision of my life. Through a lot of love...open communication...and of course...THERAPY...we came through the lighted end of what seemed like a permanently dark tunnel.
Then came the miracle of all miracles...Erin's pregnancy. My Mother had died...our marriage had been rocky and now after a harrowing fertility experience that yielded nothing...life was handing us a tiny surprise!! 10 months later...I discovered what love TRULY was and nothing would ever be the same.
As 2012 looms a few days away...I find myself standing at what could be another life-changing year. Career changes for Erin and I stand as distinct possibilities in the coming months...Ella Giles is growing into more of a "little girl" everyday...I quit smoking...and in February...I will undergo Gastric Bypass surgery. I will admit that I am nervous and with each day my apprehension grows. That being said...the idea that 2012 could allow me to gaze into a mirror and like the face that is staring back at me...call me superficial...but it's worth any and all risk. I'm tired of being the funny, "fat" guy...just ready to be the "funny guy." No more preimptive jokes at my own expense due to my insecurity and social fears...no more dreading the family pictures at Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. Most importantly...no more worrying that my beautiful wife and perfect daughter will have to spend one second worrying that Daddy could die young because he just couldn't say "I'm full"!!
My weight does not define me...nor will the loss of said weight. However...I'm ready to show the world...who James Burden really is!! I can feel my confidence building everyday as I prepare for what is to come. I know that 2012 will be the greatest year yet and I hope and pray that all of my family and friends will experience the same re-birth that I know in my heart and soul is coming. I will keep you all updated on my progress...I know that this will be a struggle for nothing of value comes easy!!
May God bless each and every one of you in the coming year. I ask for your thoughts and prayers for Ella Giles, Erin and I as we turn yet another corner in this Amazing Journey called life . God bless and I'll see you all next year (hopefully in some smaller pants!!)
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
How Far Have We Come??
I'm not going to waste much time today by talking about how ridiculously long it has been since I blogged. Nor am I going to make any promises that this is "the beginning of my consistency." All I will say is...today...I'm glad to be back and felt compelled to share something that has been weighing heavily on my heart since last night.
Erin and I both have either wanted to read "The Help" or in the least watch the movie. For months...we have both been inundated by how funny, sad, heart-warming and triumphant the book/movie was. Last night we rolled the dice and watched the film. Needless to say...it was "as advertised." I can count at least 5 times in which I openly sobbed and many more that I at least "teared up." In addition...the movie was incredibly funny and a brilliant portrayal of the "triumphant" human spirit.
As the movie ended..Erin and I spoke briefly about how it made us feel. Essentially reiterating the basic feelings of human regognition that any "decent" person would have...i.e..."How could anyone be so cold"..."How could there have ever been a time in history that this sort of behavior was "OK"? I mentioned to Erin that Mississippi was in my opinion "still pretty bad" in which she responded "We aren't far behind!" It made me think...and I thought through much of the night and through today. The question I asked myself was "How far have we REALLY come?"
Now...most people would say just look to our President to answer that question. The United States has elected an African American man as President...so obviously...all of the darkness has been cleared by light. I wish I could accept this theory as fact. Just take a look at the HATRED that exists towards Obama. Is there any President in American history that has been more scrutinized and dissected based on "suspected" flaws of character, birthplace, or religious association? Has there ever been a President more ambushed by way of e-mails, and fake news headlines with regard to his domestic and foreign policy? The bottom line is...have we ever lived in a more "venomous" and hate filled political time than we do now?? I personally don't think so and I can't help but believe that much of that is due largely to the President's pigmentation rather than his policies. As I have said numerous times...hate the policy...don't hate the "man." The things I hear and receive via e-mail with regard to Obama aren't in reference to his policies...but are assaults on his very core as a human being. It's sad...it's alarming and it's an overall commentary on how far our society has come....not very!!
I've beaten the Obama "dead horse" many times in this blog so I am choosing to move on. Mark my words...50 years from now...regardless of how his Presidency is viewed from a "success" perspective...it will be studied and scrutinized as a "case" in how our country reacted when it decided to go "against the grain." I hope I'm alive to read it...
I'm not suggesting that our country is Jackson, Mississippi circa the 1960's...but I am suggesting there are plenty of people that wish it were. We live in a state that is crumbling economically. A state where the education system is 49th...saved from #50 by the previously mentioned locale. Our infant mortality rate is one of the highest in the country and our literacy rate is one of the lowest. You pass more vehicles with confederate flags affixed to their windshields than college alumni stickers and we buy more guns online than books!! Yet...what is the present state administrations primary concern?? Let's get those dirty, brown people back to Mexico where they belong!!
Don't worry about education, roads, employment or child health....we need to promote a system of profiling and prejudice...in order to crack down on the "real problem."
The "real problem" is that the south...for decades...has been the poster child for unacceptance, obstinance and institutionalized ignorance. We like to stand up and brag about southern hospitality but we fail to include the fact that this hospitality is only extended to those who "look like us." How can so many people sit idly by and keep their mouths shut while Alabama...once again...becomes a national laughing stock and a beacon of backward thinking??
Let's see...just a re-cap of our newsworthy highlights from the last 10 years... 1) Roy Moore challenges a federal judge and has a granite statue of the "Ten Commandments" wheeled into the Alabama Supreme Court building. 2) The state votes to repeal the ban on Interracial Marriage...and succeeds. However...41% of voters wanted it to stand!! This means that 41% of Alabamians on that day wanted interracial marriage to be a PUNISHABLE CRIME!! But hey...we've come a long way from Bull Connor's Birmingham!! 3) A Madison County Councilperson is on record as saying he wants to see new immigration laws do everything "outside of shooting them" to keep illegals out of our country. 4) Alabama passes the TOUGHEST IMMIGRATION LAW in the Unites States. This law is so tough that the Federal Government files a LAWSUIT attempting to block the legislation. But hey...we do have 3 National Championships between the 2 state schools!! My beloved Auburn made me proud...but not proud enough to ignore the disturbing trend that our state and others seem to be on.
I have said many times that "racism", "sexism" or any other negative "-ism" is learned behavior. Children are born pure of heart...with no knowledge of self imposed "differences" and cultural barriers. My little girl has been held by a wide variety of races, creeds, nationalities and people of religious differences. Her expression never changed...she recognizes only one thing...and that is human contact, warmth and love. Children, like animals, can sense who is comfortable around them. An infant cries when they feel that their "safety zone" has been compromised. They work off of instinct...and this instinct is based on "trust." How is it that we can steer so far away from this base "trust?" What leads us down this dark road of prejudice, judgement and fear?? My answer...parents, families, peers and leaders!!
The people that exhibited evil behavior in the 1960's and in previous years didn't just die out. Changes in law didn't suddenly change their mindset overnight nor did it switch on a lightbulb resulting in a self awareness that had previously been unrecognizable. I'm not saying people aren't capable of "awakenings" but let's face facts...they are rare!! These men and women who fought so hard to keep the status quo in place...might have failed on the "national stage" but their rhetoric and opinions lived on. They grew old and more bitter by the day. Through the years...this skewed mentality was passed on to children, grandchildren...maybe even great grandchildren. Perhaps many of their family members recognized these as the futile musings of an elderly man/woman attempting to cling to a forgotten world. But what about those that didn't? What about those kids that listened to parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors and took it all to heart. Then their children were exposed...and their grandchildren...before you know it...an epidemic of ignorance and short sightedness has permeated their very being. Thousands, maybe millions of people....walking the earth with no knowledge of their fellow man other than the hate speech and prejudice that was fed to them with each daily meal!!
So here we are....some 50 years later...and my question is...have we really come that far?? Is 5 decades enough time for these people to die out and that darkness to be reabsorbed by the light? Or is it just enough time to see the cyclical nature of history as once again...Alabama stands as the national leader in systematic discrimination amidst the red herring of "immigration control." I merely ask you to think deeply about our world...am I that off base? Until next time friends....
Erin and I both have either wanted to read "The Help" or in the least watch the movie. For months...we have both been inundated by how funny, sad, heart-warming and triumphant the book/movie was. Last night we rolled the dice and watched the film. Needless to say...it was "as advertised." I can count at least 5 times in which I openly sobbed and many more that I at least "teared up." In addition...the movie was incredibly funny and a brilliant portrayal of the "triumphant" human spirit.
As the movie ended..Erin and I spoke briefly about how it made us feel. Essentially reiterating the basic feelings of human regognition that any "decent" person would have...i.e..."How could anyone be so cold"..."How could there have ever been a time in history that this sort of behavior was "OK"? I mentioned to Erin that Mississippi was in my opinion "still pretty bad" in which she responded "We aren't far behind!" It made me think...and I thought through much of the night and through today. The question I asked myself was "How far have we REALLY come?"
Now...most people would say just look to our President to answer that question. The United States has elected an African American man as President...so obviously...all of the darkness has been cleared by light. I wish I could accept this theory as fact. Just take a look at the HATRED that exists towards Obama. Is there any President in American history that has been more scrutinized and dissected based on "suspected" flaws of character, birthplace, or religious association? Has there ever been a President more ambushed by way of e-mails, and fake news headlines with regard to his domestic and foreign policy? The bottom line is...have we ever lived in a more "venomous" and hate filled political time than we do now?? I personally don't think so and I can't help but believe that much of that is due largely to the President's pigmentation rather than his policies. As I have said numerous times...hate the policy...don't hate the "man." The things I hear and receive via e-mail with regard to Obama aren't in reference to his policies...but are assaults on his very core as a human being. It's sad...it's alarming and it's an overall commentary on how far our society has come....not very!!
I've beaten the Obama "dead horse" many times in this blog so I am choosing to move on. Mark my words...50 years from now...regardless of how his Presidency is viewed from a "success" perspective...it will be studied and scrutinized as a "case" in how our country reacted when it decided to go "against the grain." I hope I'm alive to read it...
I'm not suggesting that our country is Jackson, Mississippi circa the 1960's...but I am suggesting there are plenty of people that wish it were. We live in a state that is crumbling economically. A state where the education system is 49th...saved from #50 by the previously mentioned locale. Our infant mortality rate is one of the highest in the country and our literacy rate is one of the lowest. You pass more vehicles with confederate flags affixed to their windshields than college alumni stickers and we buy more guns online than books!! Yet...what is the present state administrations primary concern?? Let's get those dirty, brown people back to Mexico where they belong!!
Don't worry about education, roads, employment or child health....we need to promote a system of profiling and prejudice...in order to crack down on the "real problem."
The "real problem" is that the south...for decades...has been the poster child for unacceptance, obstinance and institutionalized ignorance. We like to stand up and brag about southern hospitality but we fail to include the fact that this hospitality is only extended to those who "look like us." How can so many people sit idly by and keep their mouths shut while Alabama...once again...becomes a national laughing stock and a beacon of backward thinking??
Let's see...just a re-cap of our newsworthy highlights from the last 10 years... 1) Roy Moore challenges a federal judge and has a granite statue of the "Ten Commandments" wheeled into the Alabama Supreme Court building. 2) The state votes to repeal the ban on Interracial Marriage...and succeeds. However...41% of voters wanted it to stand!! This means that 41% of Alabamians on that day wanted interracial marriage to be a PUNISHABLE CRIME!! But hey...we've come a long way from Bull Connor's Birmingham!! 3) A Madison County Councilperson is on record as saying he wants to see new immigration laws do everything "outside of shooting them" to keep illegals out of our country. 4) Alabama passes the TOUGHEST IMMIGRATION LAW in the Unites States. This law is so tough that the Federal Government files a LAWSUIT attempting to block the legislation. But hey...we do have 3 National Championships between the 2 state schools!! My beloved Auburn made me proud...but not proud enough to ignore the disturbing trend that our state and others seem to be on.
I have said many times that "racism", "sexism" or any other negative "-ism" is learned behavior. Children are born pure of heart...with no knowledge of self imposed "differences" and cultural barriers. My little girl has been held by a wide variety of races, creeds, nationalities and people of religious differences. Her expression never changed...she recognizes only one thing...and that is human contact, warmth and love. Children, like animals, can sense who is comfortable around them. An infant cries when they feel that their "safety zone" has been compromised. They work off of instinct...and this instinct is based on "trust." How is it that we can steer so far away from this base "trust?" What leads us down this dark road of prejudice, judgement and fear?? My answer...parents, families, peers and leaders!!
The people that exhibited evil behavior in the 1960's and in previous years didn't just die out. Changes in law didn't suddenly change their mindset overnight nor did it switch on a lightbulb resulting in a self awareness that had previously been unrecognizable. I'm not saying people aren't capable of "awakenings" but let's face facts...they are rare!! These men and women who fought so hard to keep the status quo in place...might have failed on the "national stage" but their rhetoric and opinions lived on. They grew old and more bitter by the day. Through the years...this skewed mentality was passed on to children, grandchildren...maybe even great grandchildren. Perhaps many of their family members recognized these as the futile musings of an elderly man/woman attempting to cling to a forgotten world. But what about those that didn't? What about those kids that listened to parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors and took it all to heart. Then their children were exposed...and their grandchildren...before you know it...an epidemic of ignorance and short sightedness has permeated their very being. Thousands, maybe millions of people....walking the earth with no knowledge of their fellow man other than the hate speech and prejudice that was fed to them with each daily meal!!
So here we are....some 50 years later...and my question is...have we really come that far?? Is 5 decades enough time for these people to die out and that darkness to be reabsorbed by the light? Or is it just enough time to see the cyclical nature of history as once again...Alabama stands as the national leader in systematic discrimination amidst the red herring of "immigration control." I merely ask you to think deeply about our world...am I that off base? Until next time friends....
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