Sexuality: It's not about "Good vs. Evil"

Let me start off by saying how nice it makes me feel to have people ask me why I haven't written in a while. While blogging has been very therapeutic and is a uniquely personal experience for me...I had hoped that something I wrote would affect people either by making them laugh, cry or just making them think about things from another perspective. I welcome disagreement...I'm pretty used to it!! Being somewhat "liberal" in the South is not exactly an easy path to take but I am who I am and I make no apologies for my beliefs or opinions. I have no doubt that the following blog will inevitably anger some and hopefully unify others!!

I haven't written in quite some time. Some of that has been due to the constraints of work while some of it...quite honestly...has been due to the fact that I have been battling depression the last several weeks. I am slowly pulling myself out of it but for any of you that have experienced it's clutches...it can be a hellish decent!! That being said...there are some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind the last week or so. Without further ado...here is perhaps my most "controversial" blog to date...

There are certain issues in this world that I have an "opinion" about...let's be honest...I have an opinion on pretty much EVERYTHING!! On the other hand...there are issues that I am incredibly "passionate" about...issues that I feel a responsibility to speak out about...more importantly...voiceless individuals who I feel need to be spoken FOR.

I have been very fortunate in this life to have a phenomenal group of friends. They represent all walks of life, socio-economic backgrounds, races and ethnicities. In addition...they represent alternate sexualities. Some of the most remarkable people that I have been fortunate enough to meet and love in my 32 years have been gay and/or lesbians. I have shared an apartment with 2 gay men...one of which...though we don't see each other or speak as often as I like...will always be like a brother to me. I have worked for and with homosexuals...and have been privy to a better understanding of their daily struggles and the unmistakeable courage it took for them to publicly admit "who they are." I have seen the mistreatment and the misunderstanding first hand...I've seen up close and personal the bias that still exists and the overalll view by many that their sexuality is not just "unnatural" but "perverse."I have seen the indescribable  pain that comes when a family member shuns them...and the obvious joy and  relief that comes from someone else's acceptance. But none of what I have seen or the empathy that I feel can compare to what these same people must endure every minute of every day.

First of all...let me state my beliefs...about homosexuality... as clearly as I can. Notice I said "my beliefs"...my intention is not to convert or to sway favor....simply to outline what I feel.

 Homosexuality is NOT a "choice." Gay people don't just wake up out of the blue and decide...hmmm...I think today I'm going to start living every aspect of my sexual and intimate life in seclusion and solitude!! How exciting it must be to the millions of homosexuals everywhere...to know that the moment they "come out"...every aspect of their sex life could quite possibly be microscopically dissected and questioned until the day they die!! Of course...if they decide to keep their feelings private...they can be assured that upon their death...they can look back and find solace in the fact that their entire existence has been essentially a massive facade...in an attempt to emerse themselves into so-called "normal", "straight" society!! Doesn't that sound like a great "choice" to make?? I challenge any and all straight people...including myself...to show me when your sexuality was a "choice." I never consciously made a decision between men and women. At a very early age, chemical changes occurred inside me that made the female form suddenly take on an entirely different perspective!! I would wager that most of you...who are honest with yourselves would agree.

On the other hand...there are those who say if it isn't a "choice" to have the urges...it is a "choice" to act on them. Of course...this is true. We all have choices in this life...and who we choose to have sex with, spend time with, love, etc. are some of the most important ones we will make. Therefore...based on that logic...there is a belief that homosexuals should learn to suppress every chemical, physical and emotional desire for the rest of their lives?? If you think this isn't like throwing gasoline on a fire take a moment and ponder what happens to "straight" men in prison. If that isn't enough evidence of what happens when natural sexual urges are surpressed...take a look at the history of the Catholic Church. Do you really think that there isn't a direct corrolation between celibacy and Priest/Child Molestation?? I know I just offended a lot of Catholics...but so what...that is an archaic and antiquated line of thinking that has weakened the infrastructure of not just a powerful religious body but a political machine. The Catholic Church isn't nor will it ever represent what it has in the past. And why...because of an orchestrated tactic of repression that has resulted in the destruction of thousands of young children and their families. We are sexual beings and always will be...PEOPLE WILL FIND A WAY TO ACHIEVE RELEASE!! You can't pray it out...you can't remove it therapeutically...carnal urges exist because they are embedded in our DNA. That being said...there are lines that must be drawn and by no means should we accept criminal sexual acts as normal or understandable. My point is...when you suppress basic sexual and emotional need...you might be shocked by the eventual outcome. Human Nature can be ugly and dark...we must recognize and accept our base desires.

From a religious perspective...my God doesn't HATE anybody. My God will not prevent ANYONE from entering the Kingdom of Heaven simply because of their sexuality. My God looks at sin as sin...and quite frankly...noone has proven to me thus far that Homosexuality Is a sin!! How could it be a sin to love another?? How could it be a sin to want to spend the rest of your life with a partner...when that relationship is rooted in love?? Why would God take away a basic human right...happiness...simply because those two people share the same chromosomes?

 The reality is this...everyday we as humans place our own moral doctrines and belief systems into the word of God and claim that it is His. Homosexuality is mentioned briefly in the bible and for the record is not discussed by Jesus but if memory serves...it was Mark. The bible also speaks adamantly against masturbation...yet that doesn't seem to be a topic of discussion along the political front?? Since when did flesh and blood mortals become the conduit of divinity and spiritual judgement?? When did religion and God become a weapon of prejudice rather than the healing medicine of hope and peace?? How have we become so pious and egocentric...that rights and freedoms of others must only extend as far as what we like or dislike?? When did equality and progressive thought take a backseat to moral legislation and closed-minded ignorance? I can assure you of this...none of the hate and venomous mistreatment of homosexuals is, was or will ever be ORDAINED BY MY GOD!! If you are using God as your political grandstand...to disrupt the lives of people who just want to love and be loved...SHAME ON YOU!!

As Erin and I prepare to welcome Ella Giles into this world...we have discussed what our reaction would be if she came to us and announced she was a lesbian. I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that my only concern would be for her well being. My fear and sadness would come from knowing that she will be thrust into a world where ignorance often triumphs over progression. I would hope that she could find someone to love and that they would love her...unconditionally... and with all their heart and soul. She and whomever she chose to spend her life with would ALWAYS be welcome in our home and anyone who had a problem with that...wouldn't receive the same hospitality!! I haven't met her yet...but she is so easy to love... and nothing...certainly not a chemical reaction unseen by the naked eye...will EVER change that!!

To any of my homosexual friends, family and loved ones who might read this...I say you are and will always remain in my prayers. I pray that you find peace, joy and most importantly love. I pray that God will open the eyes of those who choose to judge you and despise you. I don't pray for their approval...for that is not my place...only for their unconditional acceptance. Love means never having to say you are sorry...but more importantly...it should mean never having to pretend to be someone that you aren't capable of being. We live in a world full of so much negativity, hate and overall sadness. Why is it that  we get so transfixed on adjusting our eyes to the dark...that we forget it would take less time to flip the switch and illuminate our hearts and minds with... the light.

I realize that much of this is idealistic and I am well aware of how many people...several of which I love very much...will view this blog. I will be looked upon as "lost"...someone who doesn't have a strong enough relationship with God to recognize the gravity of sinful behavior. My words will be the mere ramblings of a liberal...someone who would like to see  an "anything goes" almost libertarian society. My words will be construed as being an "apologist" for deviants...someone who just doesn't understand that there is such a thing as "right vs. wrong." I'm not going to waste anytime disputing or refuting any of the thoughts and claims that will be made in the coming days. I really don't care. What I do care about is a world where homosexual teenagers stop attempting and achieving suicide, where counselors and "safe houses" are replaced with parents and friends, where "don't ask, don't tell" is replaced with "Thank you for your commitment and service to this country because you are a hero" and where all of us...regardless of theological differences...can recognize that our greatest asset and our future will always rest in our unconditional love and support for one another!!

Until next time my friends....